……….sometimes it’s a deep tear filled hurt, some times it’s numbness, disbelief, worry.
Some times it’s confusion as to where you have gone, wonder at how it happened so quickly.
Some days you are there, happy to be alive, bouncing through a day with laughter, love and fun,
Other days it’s a struggle to find you, a quiet determination to find a just a little of you,
And yet still other days, just that one foot in front of the other is too hard, foggy brain filled with anxious worry, limiting belief, imposter syndrome, confidence that’s packed up and moved to a different postcode and finding that ever important self love is the hardest of all tasks…….
Each day we wake up and try, fight, to give it a go (Yes sometimes our best, sometimes less)
Old us may never be back in enirity, but new us is a challenge to work on, a big challenge,
A contradiction in every sense, stronger, healthier, more determined, more comfortable in our skin, yet cautious, weaker, easily confused, and definitely, at times, an overthinker!
New us has so much work to do…..to change what can be changed, get help where to the changes are too hard to do alone and to accept, love and move on with the things that can’t be changed, to make friends with those that cant be changed and walk side by side with them…..
Because new us, this bundle of confused but smiling sometimes mess of a woman cannot change this “time of life” despite being hurled into it far earlier than we feel ready for, despite feeling like at some point damn it don’t I deserve a break?
New us can only move forwards with a smile, because maybe, this new us could just be the absolute best version yet……
So Old you, that girl with coordination, a clear focused mind, confidence in your youth, it was fun, you had an absolute blast and yes you will miss you, but also there is that feeling, at some point, The us that survived menopause with some kind of sanity could just be our favourite person ever ?
