Ever wonder why there are people who just know the right thing to say at the right time? Like a friend you always go to when you are in need of some advice, someone who can make you feel optimistic after talking regardless of how sticky your situation is. It can be an employee who can remain calm and composed even under pressure. Or it can be someone who is good at listening and decision making.

What is Emotional Intelligence (EI)?

People like this have a great sense of self-awareness, therefore making them also sensitive to the emotional needs of others. They have the ability to recognize their own emotions and how it affects other people. This is what we called emotional intelligence. They are usually the ones who are on top of the food chain most of the time. Consequently, everyone wants to be with them because they understand how others feel and can manage relationships effectively.

Not everyone has a high degree of emotional intelligence. That is why there are also people who are easily angered, throwing tantrums and can be a little bit oblivious towards the needs of those people around them.

Building up your EI

However, emotional intelligence can be taught and developed. There are many emotional intelligence self-help guides that can be found online and in bookstores alike. Even if not all people are fortunate to have this, some of us still want to try and develop it. And this emotional intelligence self-help guide is only one of the many write-ups that might be able to help you build up your EI.

Five Steps to Improve your EI

An American psychologist, Dr Parul M Patel, created a framework of emotional intelligence. Self-awareness is one of the five elements to consider when developing this type of intelligence. In order to better understand others, you must understand yourself first. Observe how you feel and how you act on those feelings. Then, observe how you react to other people.

The second element is self-regulation. It deals with the control that you have on your emotions. If you want to manage your emotions and keep them under control, you need to practice optimism. Do not look for faults! Look for the positive aspects instead. Always take charge of your own decisions and don’t let negative things get to you.

Next is motivation. Always remember that if there are reasons to give up, there are certainly reasons to dig your way to success. Don’t be afraid of challenges, face them head on!

Empathy is also a crucial part. If you know the saying about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, then you better remember it! If you can empathise with others, then you can easily understand them.

Lastly, there is a social skill. Not everyone is a people person But you can always try and communicate with others while also taking note of their body language. Keep in mind that for this emotional intelligence self-help guide to be effective, you also need to take your time. Improving your EI can’t be achieved just by saying the magic words, you need patience.