Few things are more frustrating than repeating the same fight with your partner. Playing out disagreements about money, parenting, sex, or household chores may leave you exhausted, cut off from the person you want to feel close to. While conflict in any relationship is inevitable, healing is possible. With In Each Other’s Care, Dr. Stan Tatkin shares a hands on repair manual that will help you discover how arguments get triggered, why they keep happening, and what you can do to get better at communicating what you want without the drama.
Drawing on his vast experience as a couple therapist, Tatkin uses the concept of secure functioning—a two-person psychological system of teamwork, full collaboration, and cooperation based on fairness, justice, and mutual sensitivity. This form of unionizing takes time to learn, Tatkin says. “And still, the rewards are awesome and make the effort worthwhile. Secure functioning benefits you, your partner, your family, your friends, everything, and everyone.”
Throughout In Each Other’s Care, Tatkin offers targeted lessons, sample dialogues, and heartfelt wisdom that will help you work through even the most contentious topics with compassion and respect. Through this life changing practice, you will be able to identify the source of unhappiness in your relationship, learn techniques for preventing problems before they occur, and cultivate a shared commitment with your partner so you can enjoy a stronger and lasting love.
Excerpted from In Each Other’s Care: A Guide to the Most Common Relationship Conflicts and How to Work Through Them by Stan Tatkin, PSYD, MFT. April 25, 2023