Few things are more frustrating than repeating the same fight  with your partner. Playing  out disagreements about money, parenting, sex, or household chores may leave you exhausted,  cut off from the person you want to feel  close to. While conflict in any relationship is  inevitable, healing is possible. With In Each  Other’s Care, Dr. Stan Tatkin shares a hands on repair manual that will help you discover  how arguments get triggered, why they keep  happening, and what you can do to get better at  communicating what you want without the drama. 

Drawing on his vast experience as a couple  therapist, Tatkin uses the concept of secure functioning—a two-person psychological system  of teamwork, full collaboration, and cooperation  based on fairness, justice, and mutual sensitivity. This form of unionizing takes time to learn, Tatkin says. “And still, the rewards are awesome  and make the effort worthwhile. Secure functioning benefits you, your partner, your  family, your friends, everything, and everyone.” 

Throughout In Each Other’s Care, Tatkin  offers targeted lessons, sample dialogues, and  heartfelt wisdom that will help you work  through even the most contentious topics with  compassion and respect. Through this life changing practice, you will be able to identify  the source of unhappiness in your relationship,  learn techniques for preventing problems before  they occur, and cultivate a shared commitment  with your partner so you can enjoy a stronger  and lasting love. 

Excerpted from In Each Other’s Care: A Guide to the Most Common Relationship Conflicts and How to Work Through Them by Stan Tatkin, PSYD, MFT. April 25, 2023


  • Dr. Tatkin and his wife, Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, PhD, created the PACT Institute in 2010 to train mental health professionals to successfully integrate a psychobiological approach in their clinical practices. They appreciate his depth of understanding – of both the scientific research and the human condition – and how he integrates that wisdom to form the foundation of the comprehensive principles and methodologies he teaches. The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists CA honored Stan with the Educator of the Year award in 2014. Dr. Tatkin helps couples create healthy attachments and secure-functioning relationships based on fairness, justice, and sensitivity. In addition to his robust clinical practice in Calabasas, California, Dr. Tatkin and Tracey lead couples through Wired For Love Couple Retreats -- both online and in person across the United States and Europe. Dr. Tatkin is an assistant clinical professor at the UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine, Department of Family Medicine. He is on the board of directors of Lifespan Learning Institute and serves as a founding member on Relationships First, a nonprofit organization founded by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt.