Esther, “Seek good friends, friends with good morals and those that will be a good influence.” Tip 8

Esther is a special Mom to me, because she brought me my friend Claire. I love Claire! In most conversations with Claire, I am left with an improved understanding of myself, a higher self-awareness, and a belief I can do better.

Esther is now 82 years old. She is regal, and profound. Although simply stated, her wisdom is apparent and requires little explanation.

I see Esther and Tony Robbins have something in common. Tony, internationally known, Esther, loved in a smaller circle, both emphasis the importance of the peer group. I too have come to learn, peers are key.

You can only go as high as those around you. As stated by the great Jim Rohn, “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” One of my life’s greatest and truest lessons.

In recalling my early days of limited coping skills, the days when my best parenting technique was to shut my son in a dresser draw, I reflect on my peer group of that time. It was as dreadful as my parenting.

It is now clear to me, to reach another level, a higher level, changing my peer group was crucial – for Michael’s development, as well mine. I had to find elevated peers, for me a challenging endeavors.

Letting go of friends and building a new network seemed like an unfair and impossible request. My therapist, Barbara, insisted it was a must. I insisted that she did not understand!

Well, of course she understood. Of course it had to happen!

My son, could never be the man he is today had I continued in that peer group. I could never be the woman, or the mother, I am today had I continued in that group.

As Esther stated, you must find “those with good morals and those that would be a good influence.” These people are easier to find now, than they were 25 years ago. I’m happy to say, I am now surrounded by happy, shiny people! I have a small group who love and support me. Claire is one of those high caliber people for me!

I no longer have critical people in my world, although they do visit, they do not stay. We raised Michael in a conflict-free environment, where disagreements could be discussed in a respectful age appropriate way. Our home was without screaming, slamming, cursing, storming, and only the occasional eye roll. Constructing that environment was not happenstance, and was not easy. It was deliberate, tearful, lonely, and worth every minute

It is true that a strong peer group will make all the difference.

Next week, Florence on lightening up.

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  • Doreen Coady

    Author & Parenting Commentator

    Author of 100 Moms 1000 Tips 1 Million Reasons & 100 Dads 1000 Tips 1Million Reasons available on Amazon and major book stores.   Doreen is empty-nester who has spent the last five years collecting tips from 199 parents. Her heartwarming and real-talk, message on parenting is woven through their collective wishes and wisdom.   Parents are diverse in terms of age, culture, social-economic background, and beliefs. Contributions provide 2000 parenting tips from others interested in helping each other, especially new parents learning the ropes.   Every tip and commentary is distinct, providing a magnificent assortment of shared experiences. The collection conveys the depth, devotion, and breadth of parenting.   This is fun, enlightening, easy to read, and a highly relatable account of parenting successes and struggles.   For ‘the why,’ check out,, or search “100 Moms 1000 Tips” on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.