I ask these questions because most of us are doing this continuously both consciously and unconsciously. Perhaps it’s down to all the suppression and control we’ve experienced for generations.
Although I’ve been aware for most of my life that I’ve given my power away to others, it’s really over the last two years I’ve truly noticed to the extent I’ve been doing this and how it’s been affecting my energy levels and financial situation.
It turns out money has been an amazing spiritual guide to me. It’s allowed me to see where and how I’ve devalued myself and chosen to have others take my energy and sovereignty. It had left me in enormous debt and for a while, feeling like a fool. What a gift! Seriously! This year I have really come to my senses and have felt the following words reverberate throughout my entire being: “Enough is enough! No more!”
A Lesson in Cross-Country
I remember as a little girl at primary school, at the beginning of PE (Physical Education) we had to do a cross-country race to warm up. I hated cross-country, as did some of my friends because they didn’t think they were good at it. Our little group stayed together, jogging slowly while everyone else ran past us. We were always the last to finish the race. My group of friends would joke how cross-country wasn’t for us because we weren’t good at it, so why even bother?
As much as I hated cross-country, I was a good runner; strong and fast for my age and it took a lot of effort for me to hold back and stay ‘slow’ to remain at my friends’ pace. My inner-voice told me I didn’t have to remain ‘slow’ and that there was really nothing to stop me from running faster. It suggested I be true to myself and allow my body to move quicker. However, I kept ignoring it, much to my detriment because it felt awful to go against my inner-voice, but then again, on some level there was a pay off for me to go against it otherwise I wouldn’t have.
One day, while doing the cross-country run, there was just two of us from our little group. We were running and talking when suddenly, I heard my friend call out to me in surprise. I looked back and noticed she was quite far behind me. How did that happen? I wondered. I hadn’t realised she’d dropped back (or I’d sped up). As far as I was aware, I had been jogging ‘slowly’. When I realised that she hadn’t been able to keep up I apologised and she replied, “you mean you can run fast?” I said, “yes”. I was expecting her to be upset, instead she encouraged me to run on ahead.
As I sped up, part of me felt silly for believing I needed someone else’s permission. I also breathed a sigh of relief that I was jogging at a pace that was right for me. I zoomed on ahead, overtaking everyone and won the cross-country race. It seemed I was waiting forever before the next person came in second. Ever since that day, I ran at a speed that felt right for me, which resulted in me finishing first. I think a part of me just wanted to get the race over and done with, so my thought was ‘the quicker I run the sooner I finish!’
An Ongoing Theme
This memory has been on my mind quite a bit over the past year. I think it’s because I’ve seen how I’ve been playing out this theme all my life. Like many people, I’ve held myself back so much that I didn’t know how to show up in the world any other way.
This pattern has played out so strongly to the point where, over the past 12 months, it’s been obvious to me that at a deeper level, I’ve given myself these experiences in order to wake up and smell the coffee, stamp my foot with determination and declare, “enough is enough. No longer will I:
- Allow others to trample over my boundaries. What boundaries? I hadn’t set any!
- Undermine my life journey, unique experiences, wisdom, skills, knowledge and abilities acquired in this lifetime (and many others).
- Tell myself or tolerate others insinuating that their unique journey, skills, talents, knowledge and expertise trumps my inner-guidance and that theirs is superior and I should do as they say rather than follow my intuition.
- Allow myself to be guilt-tripped, shamed or feel fearful for not buying into someone else’s business realm (their business journey).
- Give my power away. Period.
It is Time to Stamp Your Foot?
Since making these declarations, I’ve notice I have stronger boundaries, am more assertive, speak my truth without feeling guilty or afraid, have stronger intuition, make bolder decisions, judge myself and my situations far less and feel more connected to myself.
Have you been doing the above bullet points a little too often? If so, is it time for you to stamp your foot and declare ‘enough is enough’? It’s not my place to tell you that you should, I think it’s yours, that is if you decide you’re ready to reclaim your power.