I usually relate to a lot of what my coaching clients are struggling with. That’s partly why I think I’m such a good coach. Direct experience, nothing like it.
But sometimes a client’s struggles are right on the money. And I think to myself, “Whoa, me too, that’s exactly what I went through.” And every time I’m a bit blown away by how similar we all are. You’d think I’d have absorbed this by now, but no. Each time this happens I’m a bit stunned.
And I think this speaks to how pervasive and deep the feeling that, “It’s just me that feels this way, no one else, and I’m all alone in this, no one else would really understand” can be.
But in reality, we’re all very alike.
Even in holding the belief that we’re not.
And that belief — that it’s just you that feels this way — is painful. It can make us feel very lonely and afraid.
We put up barriers. We hide our true selves and what’s really going on for us underneath. For protection. To prevent judgment and to be accepted, to feel like we belong.
But do you really? Do you really feel accepted if all you’re showing is part of yourself? No, not really. And it’s quite an act to keep up.
And the act of reaching out — sharing what you’re struggling with — is part of what human connection is all about.
We’re all in this together. Even if your struggles aren’t the same as another, we all know pain. We all have something.
So, keeping this in mind, how would you move through your day differently?
For me, it makes me much more willing to connect. To look others in the eye and with my interactions be saying “I see you.”
And to let them see me. Even some of the parts I’m unsure about. Because me showing me? That’s actually healing for both of us.
And when I reach out to someone I trust and share — tell them what’s really going on inside — it’s actually pretty f**king magical.
I get “Me toos”
I get to put down the burden of carrying this alone
I get to feel supported
I get to let go of some of my fears
I get some clarity around it
I get a fresh perspective
I get ideas on what to do next
And I feel a million times better
We just have to get over the initial resistance — the “It’s only me” — and take the bold first step.
If this resonated with you…
Let this be an invitation to take that bold first step.
I’m a career coach. I coach young to mid-career professionals or entrepreneurs one-on-one to find more fulfillment and happiness in their work. If you’re struggling in your work/career, reach out.
I would love to help you. Find me at syoungwang.com.
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A friendly little note: This information is being provided to you for educational and informational purposes only. It is to be used at your own risk based on your own judgment. It is not health/mental health advice and it does not create a coach-client relationship. For my full disclaimer/polices please go to https://www.syoungwang.com/policies/
Originally published at medium.com