I was taught to make up my mind and stick with my choice. Changing my mind was discouraged as it gives the impression of indecisiveness or simply not knowing what I want. So I have tried instilling the same idea with my daughter and would get visibly annoyed or upset when she changed her mind again.
But somehow it made me feel very uncomfortable to see the disappointment in her face.
Why don’t want this anymore? Why do you want to change your mind?
And just like that, my daughter would pour out her thoughts and reasons, describing the options and how she realized that the initial choice wasn’t wise. And so, it would make perfect sense to change course in her selection.
And just like that, I saw how my daughter’s mind was working, developing and growing with various options, evaluating the opportunity costs of different choices, arriving and concluding at what she felt was the best option, given the circumstances.
Yes, she may change her mind again. But it only shows she is thinking deeply at her options, having the courage to realize her initial choice may be suboptimal and deciding to do something about it by changing her mind.
We often say that as adults, we can be stubborn with our ways and our ideas; we are unwilling to accept changes. Perhaps this was rooted in our upbringing too.
When my daughter changes her mind, it causes inconvenience as it may impact on other things. But it is also a learning curve for us. We should embrace change, adapt to change with courage and allows us to continue to learn and grow.
There are of course a few things that I won’t budge. However if her choices involves exploring options, experimenting with the ultimate goal of learning something new, then perhaps it makes sense to encourage her to change her mind (of course within reasons).
So it is ok to change our mind. Instead of a sign of indecisiveness, changing our mind is a sign of intellectual growth.