We spend about 95% of our average day on autopilot which means that most of the time we are driven by our subconscious mind and depending on our conditioning, our beliefs and our values, much of our thinking can be negative and negative thoughts can very much affect how we feel. The power is in how we react to these thoughts and how long we decide to dwell on them. It is not what is happening to us that makes us unhappy or happy, it is how we react to it. Once in a while we need a little moan, we may even attract attention from someone by telling them that we are not well with the risk of believing it ourselves at the end.

Society has us programmed to believe that we are not supposed to ever feel low or sad and social media makes us feel even worse. We see all our friends have the time of their lives while we are at home, alone and nothing feels right. The point is that feeling low is not really that much fun and the good news is that we have much more power over our thoughts and our emotions than we think. There are many ways we can help ourselves out of the hole just by taking one little step at the time:

  • You are enough

Tell yourself that you are enough as you are right now. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else because you don’t know what goes on in another person’s life. You are enough at this moment and you have the potential to grow and to change. If you want to compete with anyone, compete with yourself and if you need help to grow, ask for it. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength and giving someone the opportunity to help you.

  • Practice Gratitude

Start writing a gratitude journal and write down every day what you are grateful for. Recognize the small things that many people take for granted like being able to switch on a light or opening a water tap. The benefits of gratitude are huge, your brain releases serotonin, a happiness hormone, into your bloodstream which makes you feel more alive and even helps you build up a stronger immune system

  • Start moving around

Play your favorite song and start dancing to it, go for a mindfulness walk and notice all the beautiful things which you normally don’t see because you are too absent minded, join an exercise class or even just walk up the stairs instead of taking the elevator. Your brain releases endorphins in your bloodstream when you exercise, you will notice a big difference

  • Be happy for others and give generously

The secret to living is giving and it doesn’t have to be anything materialistic, you can give a smile, a helping hand, hold a door etc. Envy is a very low energy frequency and when we envy others, we attract negativity. Being happy for others and helping others is contagious, spread the kindness virus!

  • Rethink and rewrite your beliefs

Some of the beliefs that we were conditioned with during our upbringing do not serve us anymore. The people who instilled these beliefs in us didn’t mean anything bad, they just did the best they knew at that moment. We were maybe told that we cannot do this or that for some obscure reason and deep down in our subconscious mind we may still believe it. The best way to build new habits and beliefs into our subconscious mind is by repetitions, positive affirmations or a good hypnosis session done by a professional.

So yes, it’s okey to feel down sometimes but what’s the point in staying there, it’s no fun.


  • Elisabeth Villiger Toufexis

    Life Coach, NLP Practitioner, Author, Motivational Speaker

    I am the author of the book “The Soul Kit” and a Life Coach, NLP Practitioner and Motivational Speaker. My life purpose is to add value to people’s lives and brighten the path of those who are a little lost in the dark.  I am originally from Switzerland but live in Cyprus with my husband, and we have two grown up children. I speak 6 languages and also work as an interpreter. I found out very early in life that if we want to achieve something, we have to take action and not wait for someone else to do it for us. Life doesn't happen to us, we make it happen. I had a bit of a tough beginning, my mother was 16 years old when she gave birth to me and wanted to give me up for adoption, my grandfather insisted to take me home and I grew up with my grandparents but unfortunately when I was 10 years old, my grandfather died. I felt a lot of insecurity and shame and spent many years feeling quite lost and worth less than others but was determined to achieve something in my life. When I started understanding that we are in charge of our life and that it’s entirely up to us how we want to create it and that we must never allow our past to define our future, I started creating a wonderful life for myself. As a young woman, I worked as a tour guide in many different countries all over the world and learned about other cultures and mentalities, I learned that even though we may look different and speak different languages, we are all the same, with the same needs, wishes and dreams, and that we all have the need for safety and happiness. I have travelled to over a hundred countries, and I love to get to know people, appreciating similarities and respecting differences while bringing out the best in each other.