One day, while sitting across from Dr. Luscombe in his office, I was given an opportunity. He told me about a treatment center in Ontario and how he felt this would be the best option for me, to help me regain control of my life. He asked me if I would accept treatment, and the only question I had to ask myself was “Do I want to Die?” I didn’t want to die, so I would accept treatment.
I worked so hard for my health during those months, I went to every class. I implemented every lifestyle change. I took my medications. But the work didn’t stop there, the work only got harder after being discharged, because I was on my own in real life. I worked my strength back up, built my tolerance. Learned about my disorders and medications. Meticulously curated medical support teams that truly supported me. I took baby steps. I took giant leaps of faith. I figured it out. I cried. I went 5 steps back and 6 steps forward. I regressed. I found progress. I was hit with curveballs and pure luck. I stumbled and got back up.
The hardest part of living with symptoms of mental health disorders is that you are fighting the strongest version of yourself every. single. day. It’s tiring to have to constantly show up for yourself like that. It’s resiliency.
Because of this hospitalization, I was given a second chance at life. I was back at square one and I was okay with that. I started working again. Then I found better jobs. I saved more money. This time, I flew to Toronto and met with agencies. I got signed. I flew back home and saved up money for a year, and didn’t spend a dollar that wasn’t rent, food or medications. I sold everything I owned. Everything. I packed two suitcases and my cat and we moved to Toronto. I had nothing in my apartment, not even a hanger to hang my clothes. I hustled, I skipped meals, I made it happen. I never let my heart harden. I met someone and we got married in 2019. Now we have a beautiful home together, my health is the best it’s ever been, I am happy, I am stable.
I did it.
Resilience is like a muscle that can be strengthened. In your opinion, what are 5 steps that someone can take to become more resilient? Please share a story or an example for each.
Well, it’s funny because I’m here thinking…. is resiliency a choice? It wasn’t a choice for me. But if resiliency is ever forced upon you, here are 5 steps to protect yourself and nurture it:
Practice self awareness: Resiliency is exhausting. Know your limits and when you need to self care. This will go a long way in self preservation.
Have self acceptance: You have to accept what happened to you. You don’t have to accept it in a way where you like it, you don’t have to like it, you just have to learn to accept what happened. It helps with healing and recovery.
Find a community that you identify with: Vulnerability and relatability go a long way with healing. Being able to relate to others is extremely therapeutic and under-appreciated. Nuture a space that is safe for you.
Work on self worth: If you don’t build yourself up and respect yourself, you will keep going in circles. The only way to break this cycle is to know who you are. Own yourself, own your experiences, own your pain. You are incredible and a force to be reckoned with. Don’t let anyone take that away from you.
Know what you deserve: If you don’t know what you deserve in life, you’ll never get there. What do you want, what do you deserve. Ask yourself these questions and then act accordingly.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
Humaneness and empathy. I think, oh my God, the world lacks it. If you look at some of the world, it’s communities and societies ‘biggest issues’, if I could just go ‘boom, a movement’ it would be to promote empathy. That would make the biggest difference in every single world problem we have. We need a higher quality of compassion and consideration for others.
We are blessed that some very prominent leaders read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them 🙂
There are so many people, but obviously Chanel Miller comes to mind. I would just want to meet her and thank her for what she did and all that she does. I think it’s a beautiful thing, to take what happened to you and then pay it forward. Michelle Obama of course, and Meghan Markle. I would love to work with Meghan Markle on her mental health initiatives.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
My Instagram is @karyninderr and my website, https://beacons.ai/karyninder is where everything is.
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for joining us!