Ever catch yourself stuck in an endless loop of worry, replaying scenarios of what might go wrong—even though there’s no real threat? According to Kimberley Quinlan, this experience reflects our brain’s “just in case” tendency—constantly anticipating potential threats, which can significantly impact our quality of life.
Kimberley Quinlan is a licensed marriage and family therapist, founder of CBTschool.com, and host of the Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. With extensive training in evidence-based therapies such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Exposure Response Prevention (ERP), Kimberley specializes in treating OCD, anxiety, eating disorders, and body-focused repetitive behaviors. Her expertise has been featured in the Los Angeles Times, Wall Street Journal, ABC’s 20/20, Telemundo, and more.
When Kimberley and I spoke, we explored anxiety in depth, uncovering practical strategies to help move beyond “just in case” thinking and toward lasting well-being.
For the full interview, listen to our Evolving with Gratitude podcast episode. Also available on your favorite podcast platform.
Fear, Anxiety, and the “Just in Case” Mindset
Anxiety isn’t just a feeling—it seeps into nearly every aspect of our daily lives, shaping how we think, act, and connect with others. It can make decision-making feel overwhelming, create unnecessary tension in relationships, and hinder our ability to perform at work. Kimberley explained that when anxiety becomes persistent, it can interfere with daily life in significant ways. It may lead to avoidance behaviors, making people hesitate to take on new challenges at work, withdraw from relationships out of fear of judgment, or struggle with indecision over even minor choices. Over time, this pattern can limit personal and professional growth, reinforcing the cycle of anxiety.
“Fear is a normal emotion that shows up when we think we’re in danger,” Kimberley explained. While fear signals immediate danger, anxiety often lingers, urging us to prepare for what might happen next. “Anxiety is something that shows up when we’re in danger and we need to remove ourselves from that danger or solve it in some way.” Anxiety becomes problematic when it shifts toward a “just in case” mentality—constantly preparing for potential, often unrealistic, dangers. Kimberley noted, “The more we respond to this ‘just in case’ brain, the more we train it to constantly look for potential danger, not actual danger.”
This habitual mindset can escalate into an anxiety disorder, impacting daily life. Kimberley emphasized the importance of recognizing and addressing anxiety early, clarifying, “It’s not your fault—sometimes it’s genetic or triggered by specific events.”
The more we respond to this “just in case” brain, the more we train it to constantly look for potential danger, not actual danger.
—Kimberley Quinlan
Panic Attacks: Intense but Manageable
“A panic attack is what we would call a 10 out of 10 anxiety. It’s terrifying. As someone who’s had panic many times, it’s no fun,” Kimberley shared. “So first of all, I would validate you, this is not in your head. Panic attacks are really, really distressing.” While incredibly distressing, panic attacks are not physically harmful. She advises her clients to remain present and nonjudgmental, allowing panic symptoms to rise and fall naturally. Fighting panic often reinforces fear, whereas gentle acceptance reduces its power.
Kimberley made this concept tangible, sharing, “My clients who really recover from panic disorder are the ones who say, ‘Yep, I’m gonna have a panic attack right now, and I’m gonna go to the supermarket and get my groceries—we’re gonna go panic together.’”
Self-Compassion as an Anchor in Anxiety Management
Kimberley highlighted that self-compassion isn’t about indulging in comfort—it’s about long-term resilience. “The act of self-compassion is something we do that serves both the short term and the long term us,” she explained.
She emphasized that true self-compassion requires bravery: “It isn’t just unicorns and bubble baths and candles. It actually involves being brave and courageous, standing tall when things get really hard.”
Think of how you would comfort a friend struggling with anxiety—then offer yourself the same kindness. A helpful approach is to remind yourself that discomfort is temporary and facing fears is an act of courage. Reframing difficult moments with acceptance rather than judgment can make all the difference.
The act of self-compassion is something we do that serves both the short term and the long term us.
—Kimberley Quinlan
Practical Strategies for Anxiety
One of Kimberley’s most valuable strategies is the “compassion sandwich,” designed to help individuals manage anxiety effectively:
- Before: Gently acknowledge your feelings and fears.
For example, calmly telling yourself, “It’s understandable that I’m anxious about this doctor’s appointment.” - During: Directly confront fears without resorting to avoidance behaviors such as reassurance-seeking or excessive worry.
For example, resisting the urge to Google symptoms after noticing a minor physical sensation can prevent unnecessary worry and reinforce confidence in your ability to tolerate uncertainty. - After: Celebrate your courage and effort, validating your progress.
For example, acknowledging your bravery after facing a fear, such as telling yourself, “That was tough, but I did it, and I’m proud of myself for showing up.”
If it’s hard for you, celebrate that you did a hard thing.
—Kimberley Quinlan
Insights from Your Anxiety Toolkit
With over 400 episodes, Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast offers practical guidance and inspiration, making complex mental health topics accessible to all. Among her most cherished experiences was interviewing Tara Brach, which Kimberley describes as a “career highlight.” Beyond high-profile guests, she deeply values the everyday stories shared by listeners, showcasing powerful examples of resilience and growth.
Choosing Long-Term Wellness
Kimberley concluded with an impactful reminder: “More often than not, we are trying to get short-term relief, and that often doesn’t serve the long term. Everyone needs to just do a little bit of an analysis—will this help the one-year me?” This mindset shift—from quick fixes to intentional long-term well-being—can profoundly reshape our relationship with anxiety.
Reflecting on Kimberley’s wisdom invites an essential question: What actions can we take today to cultivate lasting well-being and escape the “just in case” trap?
In Bold Gratitude,
Lainie Rowell
Connect with and learn from Kimberley Quinlan
@youranxietytoolkit on Instagram
