Discovering where your thoughts of self-doubt are emerging. There are so many self-help books that can give you a clear perspective. I also suggest that everyone should attempt therapy, you will discover a lot about yourself. I can say that I went to therapy, and it help me to discover myself and what I truly wanted for my life.
Starting something new is scary. Learning to believe in yourself can be a critical precursor to starting a new initiative. Why is it so important to learn to believe in yourself? How can someone work on gaining these skills? In this interview series, we are talking to business leaders, authors, writers, coaches, medical professionals, and teachers, to share empowering insights about “How To Learn To Believe In Yourself.” As a part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Kimberly Parker.
Kimberly Parker is a licensed psychotherapist and Forensic Evaluator that specializes in trauma. Kimberly is also a forensic evaluator, and she volunteers to provide a psychological piece for those escaping inhumane treatment from various countries. Kimberly’s area of expertise is in PTSD, Traumatic Brain Injuries, Personality Disorders, Somatic Disorders, and eating disorders. Kimberly assists clients with healing their various parts of self with evidence-based treatment models such as EMDR & Brainspotting Therapy.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive into the main focus of our interview, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
As a child I always loved animals, reading classical music, and playing with my arts & crafts. In school, my favorite subject was English & Writing. I won an award for reading the most books in the school, my teachers loved my short story writing. I was highly interested in art and enjoyed going to the museum. I would research the artist and one that stands out the most is Pierre Auguste Renoir. I loved plays and musicals this is true to this day. As a child, I saw August Rodin’s sculptures and I remember the sense of joy that overwhelmed my being. I had access to so many artistic works, for which I am grateful. I remember going to nursing homes as a child during holidays to help the elderly, this is one of the reasons I have an extensive work history in geriatrics.
What or who inspired you to pursue your career? We’d love to hear the story.
Dr. Ingrid Whitaker and Dr. Charles Gray were my professors during my undergraduate program. When I met them, they were full of captivating information. I would speak with them after class and over time establish a great student-teacher relationship. They provided great guidance and believed in my abilities. Even after graduation if I ever needed a reference they did not mind.
It has been said that our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
I remember when wanting to start my own business, I thought it would be an easy process. I cannot tell you how many times I have driven to city hall. I was happy at times and then frustrated because it seemed as if there was something always missing. It taught me to plan better, and I was so excited that I forgot there were resources for a free mentor. I wish I would have had a mentor soon and creating and operating a business would have been much easier.
What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now? How do you think that might help people?
I am scaling back on the individual session and moving towards speaking engagements. I am also looking to package holistic nutrition courses. What you eat affects your mental health and this program can be an addition to mental health treatment. I trust in my skills and know that following my instructions will help you to heal in various ways.
OK, thank you for all of that. Let’s now shift to the core focus of our interview. This will be intuitive to you but it will be helpful to spell this out directly. Can you help explain a few reasons why it is so important to believe in yourself? Can you share a story or give some examples?
Strength comes from within and is built on healthy self-esteem. Believing in yourself creates a strong foundation that one’s goals are built upon. Thoughts are very powerful, and f can be self-fulfilling or defeating. I have had a lot of opposition in my life where many would have to succumb to failure due to the negative narratives others tried to implant in my mind. I believed in God and myself, there were people like Dr. Ingrid Whitaker and Dr. Charles Gray who believed that I would be successful.
What exactly does it mean to believe in yourself? Can I believe that I can be a great artist even though I’m not very talented? Can I believe I can be a gold medal Olympic even if I’m not athletic? Can you please explain what you mean?
Your belief in yourself must be realistic, you can believe in yourself regarding the discovery of your life niche. Once you find out your talent then the realistic belief is “I know I can grow my talent through writing more” and “I believe that I will find the right mentor to guide me in my life’s goals.” Believing in yourself means that you trust your decision-making skills. Believing in yourself means that regardless of the opposition you will still win. Believing in yourself means that you accept that there may be setbacks, and in these times you create a different strategy to win.
Was there a time when you did not believe in yourself? How did this impact your choices?
When I was working for others doubts came into my mind because it appeared to be taking forever. I did not understand why I was experiencing so much opposition. When I completed the different levels in life, I look back and realize that the experience was to make me stronger. I would have bouts of unbelief, or I would much rather say faithlessness. Now my faith in myself and this is because of God is so much stronger.
At what point did you realize that to get to the next level, it would be necessary to build up your belief in yourself? Can you share the story with us? When my father confronted me about my faith and gave me a small book about faith. It discussed faith, there were stories and it had holy scriptures connected to the stories. I would waver instantly about decisions and that was because I did not a high level of belief in myself.
What are your top 5 strategies that will help someone learn to believe in themselves? Please share a story or example for each.
1. Discovering where your thoughts of self-doubt are emerging. There are so many self-help books that can give you a clear perspective. I also suggest that everyone should attempt therapy, you will discover a lot about yourself. I can say that I went to therapy, and it help me to discover myself and what I truly wanted for my life.
2. Find a mentor who can guide you with your goals. I found that a mentor holds you accountable and this helps to build your confidence. I have three mentors that help with different goals that I am working on, which will eventually lead to my ultimate goals/
3. Change your environment because what is around you can influence your mood. If you are in an environment that is not healthy, seek guidance on you can either leave fully or create a safe space for yourself. I started to go to free community networking events and free online training. I found online music gatherings, free online tours to museums that are in other countries, and free cooking events to watch live streams. This brings happiness and it feeds positive thoughts.
4. Change the people around you because your network is your net worth. Going to networking events and making business associates connections. You may even find a mentor and my belief you should always find people who are more successful because they can assist you on how to grow as well. This will bring forth positive beliefs when you are around people who want to succeed and are humble enough to help you.
5. I believe having a belief in God helps you to believe in yourself. Everyone may not agree as they may not be part of a religious faith. I found that the more I prayed and read the Holy Scriptures my life became better. I started to see my path become clear and encountering growth.
Conversely, how can one stop the negative stream of self-criticism that often accompanies us as we try to grow?
I suggest going to therapy because receiving help from a third party that studies human behavior can help you tremendously. Journaling your negative thoughts can help you to discover where these thoughts are coming from, it helps you to process your feelings. Positive affirmations that you can repeat daily and when the negative thoughts start then you can trump them with the positive affirmations.
Are there any misconceptions about self-confidence and believing in oneself that you would like to dispel?
People can misinterpret self-confidence and self-belief as being cocky. It can be misinterpreted that you believe that you’re better than others. If people believe that just know they are projecting internal emotions that may be insecurities. Being cocky is when a person is condescending and grandiose and it affects others negatively.
What advice would you give to someone who is struggling with imposter syndrome?
Prioritizing your mental health is key to success, imposter syndrome creates self-doubt in your abilities. Even though you are successful there is doubt in your capabilities. Discovering through therapy, self-help book, motivational videos, and life coaching. You want to find out why are you having thoughts and where are they coming from, thoughts are powerful. Your thoughts can cause stagnation, or they can cause you to grow.
Ok, we are nearly done. You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.
How you can build yourself by identifying the unhealed parts of yourself. Creating a program to show people how to heal and making it affordable.
We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we both tag them 🙂
I was recently sent an article about Keanu Reeves, where he was eating food with a homeless man. He was dressed in casual clothing, just living his life so content. You can see based on his works and the fruit he bears that he helps those in need. I would like to team with him on a project to help those who are homeless have access to proper mental health care, medication management, housing, and healthy food. Help those become rehabilitated and established in a community where they have access to job opportunities.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Thank you for these excellent insights, and we greatly appreciate the time you spent on this. We wish you continued success.