Self-compassion is a key factor in our human success. It is the ability to be compassionate towards ourselves, despite suffering from a setback or failure. I believe that people who are self-compassionate tend to have less stress and worry about themselves, which can lead them to be more successful in life.
Have you ever noticed how often we equate success with more? Whether that’s more products, more profits, more activities, or more accomplishments, we buy into the belief that we have to do more to have more to be more. And that will sum up to success. And then along comes The Great Resignation. Where employees are signaling that the “more” that’s being offered — even more pay, more perks, and more PTO — isn’t summing up to success for them. We visited with leaders who are redefining what success means now. Their answers might surprise you.
As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing founder, publicist, and author, Kristin Marquet Chester. Kristin is the owner of the award-winning branding and PR firm, Marquet Media, LLC. She oversees the daily operations of the business while executing client campaigns and ensuring agency objectives are met. Throughout her career, Kristin has developed partnerships with leading brands and entrepreneurs. She and her clients have been featured in Inc.com, Refinery29.com, Forbes.com, Fortune.com, Wall Street Journal, Entrepreneur.com, and more.
In 2015, Kristin wrote the book, “Squash the Competition and Dominate Your Marketplace: 55 Easy Tips to Generate Big Publicity for Your Startup or Small Business” and in 2018 co-wrote the Amazon bestseller, “Publicity Jumpstart: 10 Ways to Get Your Brand in the Press”. Then in 2017, Kristin launched FemFounder.co as a blog for female founders and has now turned it into a full-service media company with millions of readers, hundreds of thousands of email subscribers, and a course platform. She currently has over 1,600 students enrolled in her PR and digital business courses, From Nameless to Notable and The Profitable Founder.
With an academic background in data science, business, and public relations, Kristin has attended Boston University, New York University, and Massachusetts Institute of Technology. She served as a lecturer and dissertation advisor at New York University for two years and is currently a member of the Young Entrepreneur Council, Fast Company’s Executive Board, and the Rolling Stone Magazine Culture Council.
Thank you for making time to visit with us about the topic of our time. Our readers would like to get to know you a bit better. Can you please tell us about one or two life experiences that most shaped who you are today?
Thank you so much for the opportunity. Sure, I’ve had quite a few life experiences that shaped who I am today, but I would say the most significant in my professional career is when I lost my cushy salary corporate consulting job of four years.
During the Financial Crisis, many companies downsized their staff or shuttered altogether. And unfortunately, I had worked for one of the companies that downsized 50 percent of its operations. As a result of this company-wide downsize, I was laid off. At that point, I had to decide whether I was going to search for a new job or start a business and I decided to pursue opening a business. While the early days were very tumultuous, I learned how to manage risk, anxiety, and client expectations very quickly.
We all have myths and misconceptions about success. What are some myths or misconceptions that you used to believe?
I think it’s very common to have delusions of grandeur of the meaning of success when we’re younger, simply because, we have this idyllic view of the world. Perhaps, it’s because we think that our lives are going to be easy, and we look at the world with wide-eyed wonder and optimism. I know that was true for me when I was a teenager and in my twenties.
I used to think that the path to success was a straight line, but I’ve learned that the path to success is not always linear. Here are some other myths and misconceptions I used to believe.
Myth 1: Success happens overnight.
The truth is, that success takes time and effort. It’s not as easy as it seems, and it doesn’t happen overnight. You need consistency and dedication to see any progress towards your goal.
Myth 2: Successful people are born with talent.
Successful people work hard for what they want, and they don’t rely on talent alone. They learn from their mistakes, they put in the work, and they practice until they get better at what they do.
Myth 3: Success means having a lot of money, being famous, or living a lavish lifestyle.
Success isn’t all about money, fame, or a luxurious lifestyle. It can be found in small everyday tasks that require effort and dedication. Ultimately, success is about being happy and content with the decisions you’ve made and the direction of your life.
Myth 4: Successful people are always happy and content with their lives.
The idea that success requires a certain amount of happiness is a fallacy. I don’t think happiness is not something you earn or achieve, but rather it’s something you choose.
Successful people can decide if they are happy. They know what they want, and they take full control of their lives.
How has your definition of success changed?
Yes, I’ve learned that success is a subjective term. There is no one-size-fits-all definition, and it changes over time.
Every person has a different idea of what success looks like. Some people define success as being able to provide for their family, others define it as having enough money to retire early, and some define it as living the life they want to live. But I define it as having the freedom to do what I want when I want and how I want.
I’ve learned that success can be measured in different ways — such as by the amount of money you have, by your social status or education, or by how much time you spend on yourself rather than your job.
The pandemic, in many ways, was a time of collective self-reflection. What changes do you believe we need to make as a society to access success post-pandemic?
Yes, the pandemic, in many ways, was a time of collective self-reflection. During the pandemic, people were forced to confront the limits of their own mortality and the fragility of life. The pandemic also led to a rise in global awareness of mental health issues. Many people began to take mental health seriously and seek help for anxiety or depression.
There are many changes that we need to make as a society to access success post-pandemic. Some of these changes include:
– Establishing a community that is focused on wellness and health.
– Empowering people with education and skills.
– Ensuring that there is a way for people to communicate with each other in case of emergency.
– Ensuring that the economy continues to function, and people have jobs.
– Keeping up with current trends and technology.
– Being able to live without fear of diseases spreading around the world.
What do you see as the unexpected positives in the pandemic? We would love to hear a few of your stories or examples.
The unexpected benefits of this pandemic are that it has caused a shift in awareness and has given people more time to focus on what is important. People are more aware of their health, and they are becoming more socially conscious about how they live their lives.
We’re all looking for answers about how to be successful now. Could you please share “5 Ways To Redefine Success Now?”
1) Redefine success as a process instead of an end goal.
Success is often thought of as a destination, but it’s a process. We can’t know our success until we’ve pursued it and it’s about progress and not perfection.
2) Learn to live with uncertainty and ambiguity.
We all face uncertainty at some point in our lives which can cause a lot of discomfort. This discomfort can cause us to avoid uncertainty and needlessly complicate our lives. The best thing that we can do when faced with uncertainty is to embrace it, become comfortable with it, and live a life where ambiguity and uncertainty are welcomed instead of avoided. This is when some of our best lessons are learned.
3) We need to find our passion and go for it!
Passion is a key factor to success. It is the fuel that keeps us going and motivates us to achieve our goals. To be successful, we need to love what we do.
Passion is not just about having a job we like or doing something for our family or friends. It’s about doing something that we’re good at — something that we want to do — because it’s what makes us feel alive and fulfilled.
4) Practice self-compassion.
Self-compassion is a key factor in our human success. It is the ability to be compassionate towards ourselves, despite suffering from a setback or failure. I believe that people who are self-compassionate tend to have less stress and worry about themselves, which can lead them to be more successful in life.
5) Seek out opportunities for growth and learning.
Learning contributes to success in many ways. It provides us with the ability to adapt and grow, which is necessary in a fast-paced world. Learning also enables us to learn from our mistakes and make better decisions in the future.
However, the benefits of learning are not limited to personal growth. Learning helps us to build skills that can be used for a wide range of careers and industries, such as STEM fields, business management, or entrepreneurship.
How would our lives improve if we changed our definition of success?
I think everyone’s lives would improve if they changed what success meant to them. Instead of trying to live up to society’s expectations about what we should do and when we should do it, we should pursue our interests and passions.
When I was in my early twenties, I had the opportunity to take a leave of absence from college to pursue a modeling career — which I did. Even though I took off for three years, graduated from college years after my peers, and started my career in my late twenties, I’m glad I did take that path because it enabled me to learn about the world. Now, if I had followed what everyone ‘thought’ I should do, I would have stayed in college, graduated at 22, attended grad school, and got my first job at 24. But I’m glad I didn’t. I’m glad I took the road less traveled and created my own definition of success.
What’s the biggest obstacle that stands in the way of our redefined success? And what advice would you offer about overcoming those obstacles?
The biggest obstacle that stands in the way of our redefined success is not having a clear vision of the future. This can lead to us feeling stuck and not knowing what to do next. Getting clarity on our goals is how we can move forward.
The second biggest obstacle is a lack of time and resources. With so many demands on our time, we may not have the capacity or energy to do everything that we want or need to do. Being organized helps us feel like we can meet the demands of everyday life.
The third biggest obstacle is fear. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear that we won’t be able to handle the changes that are coming at us from all sides. Being agile and nimble are the keys to overcoming these issues.
Where do you go to look for inspiration and information about how to redefine success?
The internet is a vast resource of information and inspiration that can help us redefine success on our own terms. There are hundreds of blogs and websites that offer advice on how to be successful in different areas of life. There are also plenty of books available online that offer guidance on how to find success in various fields, like arts, entrepreneurship, and technology.
We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He, she or they might just see this if we tag them.
I’d have to say, Michelle Obama. She is my role model because of her strength, determination, and bold personality. I admire her for being a successful woman in the increasingly difficult role of the First Lady. She has been an inspirational example of how to achieve personal goals and overcome obstacles.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
I would love to connect with readers. There are two websites: Femfounder.co and Marquet.company. Our social media channels are Twitter.com/KristinMarquet and Instagram.com/FemFounder.
Thank you for these fantastic insights. We greatly appreciate the time you spent on this. We wish you continued success and good health.