We all have failed in life, it’s about what you choose to do after the failure. We can stay stuck and feel sorry for ourselves because we failed, or we can learn and move on to succeed.
The Fear of Failure is one of the most common restraints that hold people back from pursuing great ideas. Imagine if we could become totally free from the fear of failure. Imagine what we could then manifest and create. In this interview series, we are talking to leaders who can share stories and insights from their experience about “Becoming Free From the Fear of Failure.” As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing LaJune Singleton.
LaJune Singleton is the CEO & Founder of LaJune Singleton Move to Heal. A fitness, health, mindset, nutrition, and wellness business. She’s a board-certified health & wellness coach, life coach, nutritional lifestyle coach, trauma-informed coach, actress, speaker, and the author of “Releasing My Trauma: The Root of Self-Sabotage.”
Thank you so much for joining us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your ‘backstory’?
Since childhood I have loved acting, fitness, health, playing sports, and wellness. I have been acting and commercial modeling on and off for 20 years in plays, films, and commercials. I have been in fitness, health, mindset, nutrition, and wellness for 14 years.
Can you share with us the most interesting story from your career?
Not long after becoming a personal trainer, I sustained a severe injury to my right knee. I did not realize that the injury was going to be life changing. I never thought that an athlete, who was in great physical condition and always kept a positive attitude, could go through a comprehensive physical and mental transformation. I became very depressed; and found comfort in eating and sleeping all day. Went from weighing under 120 pounds and wearing a size 0/4 to pre-obese at the highest weight of 193! All the past unaddressed mental, emotional, and physical trauma I’d experienced appeared; from the grief of my father’s death as a child, to childhood molestation and sexual assault, as an adult, I was not in a good mental space. This journey helped me understand that losing weight is not just about exercising; It’s also about understanding the successful behaviors that lead to maintaining weight loss by addressing what keeps a person from a fantastic healthy lifestyle.
Can you tell us what lessons or ‘take aways’ you learned from that?
The mistake I made when I first started was working with everyone thinking everyone was my ideal client. I was incorrect on that.You are a successful leader. Which three-character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success?
The three-character traits that have been most instrumental in my success are considerate, optimistic, and persistent. Can you please share a story or example for each?
I feel it is important to be considerate of others and treat people how you would like to be treated. Being optimistic is big especially when life seems to be knocking you down, believing that things will become better with faith and patience. Persistent in not giving up on your dreams, vision, or goals no matter how many nos you hear, and closed doors, but fighting for what you want.
Ok, thank you for all that. Now let’s shift to the main focus of this interview. We would like to explore and flesh out the concept of becoming free from failure. Let’s zoom in a bit. From your experience, why exactly are people so afraid of failure?
I think people are afraid of failure because we cannot control the outcome. We tend to try to control everything in our lives instead of learning and growing from the failed experiences we avoid trying.
Why is failure so frightening to us?
We are frightened by the failure of not being perfect. We have created a perfectionist mindset that limits us in evolving.
What are the downsides of being afraid of failure?
The downside of being afraid is limiting yourself to opportunities by the fear of failure. How can it limit people? Fear of failure can limit business, career, life joy, and more can keep people stuck and procrastination.
In contrast, can you help articulate a few ways how becoming free from the fear of failure can help improve our lives?
Some ways people can free themselves from the fear of failure by letting go of perfectionism, control, and fear mindset. Letting go of all of these can decrease procrastination and increase your resilience and your passion for life.
We would love to hear your story about your experience dealing with failure. My experience dealing with failure of hitting rock bottom financially and business. Would you be able to share a story about that with us?
Due to the economy, I lost several clients, I started applying for jobs and was supposedly hired for a health coaching job to learn it was a scam. I felt like I failed myself by being desperate financially. My desperation and worry led me to hit rock bottom. I applied for more jobs and promoted my business to obtain clients. It felt like everything I was doing was not working.
How did you rebound and recover after that?
I had to let go of my previous mindset of trying to control everything, getting out of my head with negative thoughts, trusting/consulting God, and asking for help.
What did you learn from this whole episode?
I learned that I needed to let go and let God and others help me. That moment of failure led me back to my first love of acting and learning stillness, patience, silence, and getting out of my own way to be able to hear God’s path for my life.
What advice would you give to others based on that story?
The advice I would give others is to let go of control, learn from mistakes, pray, meditate, ask for help, be patient, and be okay with changing directions.
What are 5 steps that everyone can take to become free from the fear of failure”?
The first step to becoming free from the fear of failure is letting go of being perfect. When we hold on to being perfect, we do not give ourselves the opportunity to learn and grow from our mistakes. The second step is just do it; overthinking creates fear that leads to self-sabotaging talk, which will have you believe you can’t or shouldn’t do it. The third step is positive self-talk in the mirror and throughout the day that you are worthy, capable, powerful, and can do anything you put your mind to. The fourth step is when experiencing anxiety and fear close your eyes and take a deep breath, take a walk, journal, meditate, or do something fun to clear your mind from the negative thoughts that are saying you can’t. The fifth step is surrounding yourself with a positive support system who will encourage, motivate, and offer accountability. Having positive people is everything to help talk you off the fear of failure cliff. Finally, the fear of failure is a mindset if you believe you will fail, which is the negative thought being put into the universe then you will fail. Having positive thoughts, journaling, and self-talk creates positive outcomes and actions.
The famous Greek philosopher Aristotle once said, “It is possible to fail in many ways…while to succeed is possible only in one way.” Based on your experience, have you found this quote to be true? I find this quote to be true.
What do you think Aristotle really meant?
We all have failed in life, it’s about what you choose to do after the failure. We can stay stuck and feel sorry for ourselves because we failed, or we can learn and move on to succeed.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the greatest amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
If I could inspire a movement, it would be letting go of the past and truly forgive. If more people were able to let go of their past instead of holding on and forgiving, we would have a lot of healthy and happy people who would be at peace and take lessons from the past to grow positively with themselves.
We are blessed that some very prominent leaders read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them 🙂
I would love to have lunch with Taraji P. Henson. I love that she puts her mental health and wellness first. I believe self-care and yourself first are necessary, especially in the entertainment industry and everyday life.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
www.lajunesingleton.com; youtube.com/lajunesingleton9135; instagram.com/iamlajunesingleton; linkedin.com/lajunesingleton4192ab57; facebook.com/lajunesingleton; tiktok.com/lajunesingleton7
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent on this. We wish you only continued success.