With the lasting popularity of the The Secret movie, the rise of NLP and Life Coaching and the ‘positive thinking’ movement hitting the internet by storm over the last ten years or so, more and more people accept that we have a role to play in creating our own experience of life.

Taken at face value, Law of Attraction principles suggest the way to manifest our desires is to set ourselves goals, feel into them, clear obstacles out of the way and motivate ourselves to take whatever action is necessary to claim the prize. 

Sounds simple, right? Follow the formula and you’ll be a ‘manifesting machine’ in an instant – at least, that’s what they say…

But what if all the hype about being able to get whatever we want and all the focus on micro-managing the journey creates the risk of feeding over controlling tendencies – an inner demon most of us could well do without? 

What if being super specific means we eliminate the flexibility to notice unexpected positives or struggle to cope with unplanned events that occur on our life path? 

What about shifts in direction that show us something else is possible or present a different opportunity than we first imagined we desired? 

Here’s the nugget – it may be small but it’s very, very important to grasp.

Creation starts with conception. Your desires are seeded from an idea that sprouts within. That’s essentially a feminine energy – whereas all this planning, motivating and action taking can get really rigid and masculine if we’re not careful. 

So there has to be a balance. 

And you cannot be ‘a machine’ – that’s just not healthy.

If the process becomes formula, when outcomes become non-negotiable, when the bigger picture becomes irrelevant and ‘plan A’ seems like the only acceptable result for you…well, that’s when Law of Attraction becomes a ball and chain around your ankle that’s only going to hold you back. 

Mastering Law of Attraction also means learning that what we create we can also destroy – that’s another important Cosmic principle and an aspect of the feminine that can often feel less comfortable than the creative part. 

But it’s what Trainers, Therapists and Mentors like me mean when we talk about ‘staying in alignment’ because if every particle in this Universe is constantly in motion then surely we need to accept that there is a freedom of flow. 

Change is part of life – in truth, nothing is fixed. Not even our ideas, and certainly not our desires.

So if you’re working with Law of Attraction don’t fall into the trap of striving to become a ‘manifesting machine’. Balance focus with flexibility.

Machines don’t have ideas, desires or express gratitude. Those kinds of privileges belong to real creators – human beings.


  • Rhian Kivits is a one of a kind Love Alchemist who helps women heal, rise and love again after heartbreak, narcissistic abuse and toxic relationship trauma. With an international client base, she combines her solid background as a Relate qualified Sex and Relationship Therapist and Urban Tantra Professional with a passion for all things mind, body and soul, including Sacred Feminine spirituality.  Inspired by her own journey of healing and self-discovery after a traumatic childhood and a history of painful relationships, Rhian shares the alchemical codes of self-awareness, self-love, self-expression and pleasure that heal the heart and restore the Sacred blueprint of mind, body and soul so that women can finally move forward in love and business. She has a passion for energy and gem medicine, sacred voice and sound activation, mudra and mantra meditation as well as Vedic Love Astrology. Rhian believes that all women can find real love and embrace their life purpose, and that we all deserve to feel sensual, abundant and free. Find Rhian at rhiankivits.com or search for her on Facebook. Take Rhian's Post Traumatic Relationship Assessment https://bit.ly/ptrsquiz Sign up for Rhian's free resources https://bit.ly/freealchemy