As an adult survivor of child abuse… Boundaries are a BIG deal for me.
Because I know what abuse and Love in action look and feel like very well… and because I Love my most authentic self, fully… I’ve consciously chosen to have very little patience with people who don’t Love themselves AND exude abusive tendencies in my personal space (both physical and virtual). I Love ALL living beings, but allowing humans to cause harm is not an act of Love.
I share this with you, because most of us did not have role models of what Love (which starts with and always includes Self Love) actually looks and feels like in action.
The mainstream media does not prioritize highlighting and appreciating positive authentic role models for us to emulate; for Peace in the current “entertainment” model is not profitable.
Because we tend to naturally mirror the behaviors we predominantly witness in our environment, it is vital to recognize abusive behaviors not only in people we engage with in real life, but also in the media… including the subtleties on TV shows and in movies, music, books, magazines, and the like… and then choose to “change the channel” to something more positive, so that abusive behaviors of others (regardless if they are acting or not) do NOT subconsciously influence our own behaviors.
I bring up filtering behaviors in virtual spaces because I’ve noticed for many years now… actually since I first started engaging with people online in the mid 1990s, that some people who use “social media” seem to not care about respecting boundaries of people they engage with online. It’s almost as if some people “think” they can behave however they want in virtual spaces without consequence… since it’s not happening in Real Life.
This recently happened to me with a colleague, which is what inspired me to write this article. It reminded me of other people that have been abusive towards me or around me on the internet over the years. Ironically, some of my haters of the past have become some of my closest friends… but it took getting to know each other better and realizing we’re a lot more aligned than we initially thought we were.
I feel these inconsistencies are important for us all to keep in mind, as we engage more and more with each other virtually. Virtual interactions ARE a part of Reality. We exert and transmit energy when we engage with people virtually, the same way as when we engage in person. Science has also repeatedly shown us, that no form of matter can stop a thought wave. So every thought we have towards and about ourselves and others, matters.
There’s much room for misunderstanding in communication to begin with… especially when we do not have the same level of comprehension as those we engage with, since we do not have identical experiences, inclinations, or mechanisms. It’s too easy to lack thoughtfulness, if we don’t will ourselves to make conscious and consistent efforts to “listen” and respond from a place of Love.
Love is WORK, but it is most worthy of your energy.
Boundaries are healthy and necessary for anyone who aspires to thrive in ALL aspects of Life. You don’t have to put up with abusive behavior from anyone… Not from your friends, family, peers, colleagues, followers, fans, or strangers. Abuse is NOT Love.
If you choose to be consistently Loving towards yourself, first and foremost… you’ll be able to Love others from a full personal storehouse of Love. Your cup of Love will naturally overflow towards other living beings, because Love with conditions (including expectations) is not Love, but love. When you truly Love ALL of you, you also role model to others how to Love you and how to Love themselves.
Always honor your body, mind, and soul above all else, for there is only one you and no one and no thing can EVER make you feel truly whole, except for yourself.
It’s perfectly okay and in your best interest to say no to, and even shut the door on, people who do not respect your boundaries and authentic practices of Love towards yourself and others. Always do your best to separate yourself in the most Loving way possible. Refusing to tolerate abuse in your life, does not mean you don’t Love abusive people, you simply do not support their abusive behaviors and wish to protect yourself from their energy.
In my recent inspiring experience of practicing Self Love, I did my best to be patient and thoughtful, yet this only brought out more abusive behavior towards me. So, I disconnected from this person on the platform we were engaging on, and decided that if for some reason this impacts my affiliation with the organization we are both involved in… I will gladly walk away, as I do not support people or organizations that condone abuse in any shape or form, regardless of their stated mission and accomplishments.
This lifetime is short, so we’ve always got to have the courage to Love ourselves no matter what so that we can experience peace, health, fulfillment, and Love in this lifetime.
I Love you and hope you know that I believe you deserve the best, so let only Love in.