Do you know people who doubt themselves, their abilities to succeed, someone who ever doubted that they are able to achieve a certain goal? Did you ever doubt yourself? The sad truth about this is, that we probably don’t find anyone who can answer with a “No.” to any of these questions. Everyone I ever met in my life or that I have been reading about struggled with self-doubt at some point. It is simply normal, isn’t it? I believe it is time to create a new normal around the way we think about ourselves because the effects of self-doubt are more destructive than they are constructive. 

Self-doubt is holding us back in living our best lives and becoming our truest self.

Try it. Google “self-doubt” and you will find countless articles and sources helping you to overcome self-doubt and finally helping you to become the person you really are. For a reason. Because it has become more an epidemic that mirrors the beliefs we grow up with. Doubting ourselves is not something we are born with. Why should we doubt anything? We just try to make sense of all the impressions we absorb every day as little babies. Whenever we try to learn something, we simply try. We fail. A lot. Hundreds of times. Often over weeks. But it just is another experience. We don’t count how many times we fell down while we were trying to walk. No. We focus all our energy on trying it the next time. We focus on what is important, our goal. We don’t mind the journey. In fact, we enjoy every time it worked a little better. We try to remember what we did better this time, that helped us taking this first step. While we might not consciously do that yet, we do it. We are exposed to thousands of impressions every day, we can’t focus on it all – so our brain helps us to focus on what is important. Worrying about what we are bad it, doubting ourselves, costs a lot of energy and won’t take us anywhere. Instead we focus on trying things again and on the success.

How about you? At night when you have time to think about the day, what do you focus on mostly? The things that went wrong or the things that went right?

Self-doubt doesn’t have to be necessarily bad. It is actually healthy to question ourselves, our thoughts, our actions from time to time. Questioning ourselves is healthy and necessary. Constantly doubting that we are good enough, is the opposite. Bringing awareness towards something that you lack is great, because you can act on that and learn the skills or whatever it might be. Just don’t dwell on the fact that you are not good at something but rather ask how you can change that. If you can’t change it, accept it and stop thinking about it. Why spending your precious lifetime on stressing out about something that you can’t change? Your life, your choice. But make it a choice. Consciously choose how you spend your time and energy.

Whenever you ask yourself whether you are able to do something or not, what is holding you back from simply trying? Probably fear. But what if it works out? If fear worth giving up the possibility that it might work out? Again. Your life, your choice. But make it a conscious choice.

If you talk to people who know that they don’t have a lot of time left in their life, the only things they regret are the things they did not try. The times where they did not do something. We all make bad choices. We all fail. But we are made to overcome those times. This is another reason why there is absolutely no reason to doubt yourself because you are stronger than you probably realize. You can overcome everything that comes across your path until the day you die. You can overcome any challenge, any disappointment, any failure, any betrayal, any heartbreak, any bad day – you were born with the ability to overcome all of that. It might hurt, yes. It might be difficult, yes. It might take some time, yes. But you can do it, no matter what. We humans are basically super heroes, neglecting our super power. So, even if you don’t know if you can make it (whatever it is that you have doubts around), try it. You have everything it takes. Because no matter how hard or deep you fall, you can overcome it. Let your super power play a little and help you to get back up.

Self-doubt has to main levels: doubting our outer appearance, doubting our inner abilities, our skills or intelligence. When it comes to your appearance, let me tell you that you are beautiful and really don’t even start to compare yourself to anyone (or rather stop because you probably are already doing that). Your soul has chosen this body for a reason. (Yes I’m going there. I share the way I think about the world and that includes incarnation and souls. Used to not do that, because I was doubting myself and the way others would react to that. But you know what, take it or leave it. This is me.) We can change a lot about our appearance, in case we really want to. So do whatever you feel like you want to do. No matter how you look like, it won’t change who you really are within. People won’t love you more because you look differently. Love is an emotion and that is the level love happens on, on an emotional level. We are attracted to the way things looks yes. But we all met this person who looked more than handsome but when we got to know them, we just wanted to get away as soon as possible, no matter how good they look like.

Doubting your abilities, your skills, your intelligence: There is nothing to doubt. Bring awareness to what you are good at and to the areas that need improvement. Once you are aware of that, you can act on that. End of story. Improve what you think needs improvement. And ride the wave of the things that you are good at already.

Self-doubt is not as complicated as it might look like, or rather as hard as it might feel like. Often we are conditioned to believe we are not good enough from an early age on. Your brain learned to believe that you are not good enough. Not looking good enough or not good enough in what you do. This needs to be resolved. You need to find a way to dive into the time where the conditioning started. Very likely through your parents or other people while you were a kid. It is in your belief-system. You never really questioned if that is true, this is simply what you grew up with. Get rid of that! Do whatever helps you to let go of this old belief. Whether that’s a classical therapist, an energy healer, a shaman, hypnosis, meditation – anything that helps you reflecting on your beliefs and on who you are. Just get to know yourself, really know who you are! When you own who you are, things get so much simpler. You can own something like “Yes, I’m not very skilled at mathematics. I don’t want to work on that, because I don’t need it.” Or “Yes, my hair is straight. I always wanted it to be curly, but I accept it. I love my hair and make it curly when I want to.” – you know where I’m heading…

Let’s make it normal to love ourselves for who we really are. We are all unique. Find the good in your uniqueness. The mix of skills you have, is indeed younique! Honor it! Make the best out of it!

At the end of this life, I want to feel that I did everything I could to live life to the fullest. I want to know that there is nothing I wish I had more time for because I tried it all for as long as I was given time. I want to be grateful for all the opportunities and lessons. I want to look back and be proud of all the times I fell, failed and moved on.

I hope the same for you. If you came this far, thank you. Honestly, thank you. And if there is one things you take from this article, may it be that you believe in your super power to get back up, no matter how many times you fall. Because this is the super power you were born with, so that you can live life to the fullest and follow all the crazy dreams that cross your mind – even if it is just in order to learn a lesson.  


  • Melissa Kiss

    Professional Happy Human

    Melissa Kiss is a Professional Happy Human. She is happy and empowers others to be their happiest selves. Her goal is to wake up in a world where all beings are happy & healthy. Knowing that happiness is a choice, that requires consistent work, she is not only working with clients one-on-one in Munich, NYC, LA and on her international retreats but shares articles online, and is creating an online academy to help people all over the world to be their happiest & healthiest version. According to Melissa, bodyawareness, mindfulness and following our intuition are the three pillars to the life of our dreams.