It’s funny how we really show up for each other when things are tough. Those unimaginably hard times. Like when unwanted news lands at our feet. Or when hard choices have to be made. Or when we are brought to our knees by illness. Or when life is lost and someone we love is stolen from us too soon.
Something about tough times breaks down our boundaries in relationships. On both sides.
Those who normally won’t let themselves be helped surrender to support. Those who normally don’t want to be pushy feel emboldened to show up and do what needs doing, politeness be damned.
The rawest, most painful and intimate experiences of life (grief, loss, fear, heartbreak, shock) are met with the most potent and powerful resources of humanity (compassion, generosity, kindness, belonging, trust, gratitude.) In this way, on our worst days, we actually get to see the best of the people who love us.
Dinners are left on doorsteps. Time is carved out. Beloveds boldly barge in to offer love and support when it’s needed most. The truth is told… and heard. Pain is witnessed. Notes are written. Strength is shared. We get together.
But why do we reserve this for our tragedies and traumas? Why does it take something traumatic to let ourselves be held? Why does it take something tragic for us to drop the facades of etiquette or busy-ness and just do our best and show up for each other? To really, really, be together?
Let’s change that. Let’s make a pact. To drop by. To make time. To speak the truth. To listen. To make a dinner. To write a note. To say I love you. To hold hands. To not just offer to help, but to insist upon it.
Let’s make a pact to be our best for each other. Even on the good days.