Lately, I have been getting remarks and comments from all corners whether I have a life with all the writing and posting. And how the hell do I find the time and energy to balance a full-time job, taking care of my son and being the social media rockstar at the same time?

Interestingly enough the latter takes up very little of my time. I often write my first draft of blogs within half an hour, and my poems flow out of me in less than ten minutes no matter where I am, as long as Mozart is with me! Procrastination is the real culprit, and I can lose valuable time scrolling down news feeds and watching youtube movies.

The other day I stumbled upon a video that had intuitive messages for August for the Sagittarius. As human beings, we are curious creatures and as Mediterranean women …triple that!

So I click and watch the video out of curiosity.

Often these messages are interpreted through one’s subjective mental model, and thus we hear and connect with what resonates with us. Somehow, the video struck a chord and revealed something about my own life which has been holding me back and which was spot on. She spoke about if you grow up as a child in a family that knows a lot of fighting and arguments, you automatically need to create the feeling of safety as you are growing up. Which is why many people become control freaks.

Whether they control their environment to perfection. Whether they need to manage how their lives evolve and their relationships. Whether they need to control outcomes in specific granularity. Control gives them a sense of temporary safety.

I am sure many of us will recognize themselves, at least I do! Because of my childhood and the conditions in which I grew up, I developed certain beliefs. What I was oblivious to is how they became a mental model for navigating life.

For example, growing up between two cultures and two religions was confusing and hard, to say the least. Believing that if you sin you will go straight to hell and if you act in certain ways you will go to paradise fostered a fierce inner critic and judge.

I judge myself all the time and harder than anyone else because of many beliefs I developed since childhood. Beliefs I am finally learning to let go.

There was another message in this video that gave me goosebumps, which is the following extract paraphrased into my own words:

You are like this giant and magnificent whale, the biggest mammal in the ocean. Yet you are stuck in a net unable to swim the waters of the ocean. The net represents your underlying beliefs. You need to let go of these and live your full potential as there is so much more you have not discovered yet”.

You don’t have to be a spiritual guru or a yogi to be stunned by this statement. All of a sudden I realized how much of my belief system is based on perceptions that are no longer serving me. Perceptions which are not mine, to begin with.

We see the world in black and white, and we expect certain outcomes. When our expectations are not met, we suffer. We suffer through judging, and we keep living in the past. We hold ourselves back and blame external conditions instead.

I invite you to examine your underlying beliefs. Examine if they are yours and how are they serving you.

The other day I had a coffee with a colleague who loved one of my blogs and sought some advice. We talked about knowing who you are so you can live a fulfilled life true to yourself. She asked me: Nadja, do you know who you are? I answered with all the things I love doing now, and that is who I am.

When I gave it more thought, I realized that the answer is much more straightforward than that:

I am Nadja without a mask.

I am still on a discovery journey, and I am getting to know myself better each day through my writings and through new experiences. But the freedom that you feel when you are not wearing a mask means you are living your authenticity in the digital age.

Whether the universe asked youtube to send me a revelation is irrelevant. I know now that the net will no longer hold me back as I am getting rid of it and I will flow with the waters and oceans of life.

I hope you will get rid of your net too and stop holding yourself back. The brevity of life reminds us of what truly matters and the world needs your potential, creativity, talent, and inspiration. Surround yourself with people who lift you up and let go of those who judge or are holding you back. It is merely a reflection of their own fears, just wish them well. Use your energy to build the new and let go of what is no longer serving you!

Stories from the heart

Thank you for taking the time and reading my stories, stories written to inspire you. Your time means the world to me! Follow me for more inspiring and motivational blogs & videos on




    Thrive with EQ

    Hi, I am Nadja, a burnout survivor, a resilient human and a creative writer.

    My mission is to help busy professionals achieve Success with Serenity by maximizing their emotional intelligence so that they can excel in all areas of their life with peace of mind!

    I am happily divorced (yes, you read that right!) and my greatest gift in life is my six-year-old son Adam. We live our potential every single day and enjoy each moment of our human experience in the 21st Century.

    I co-authored the best-selling book, 20 Beautiful Women Volume Six, where I shared my journey of belonging growing up as an Empath.

    In my spare time, I enjoy creative writing, meditation and I try very hard to exercise some of the most complex yoga poses!

    I am Dutch; I was born with my heart on my sleeves, my soul on fire and a mouth I can’t control (well, I do control what comes out, but speaking truth to power for positive social change is essential to me).

    I write about emotions and feelings, you know those things that make a lot of people uncomfortable in the digital age.