“All my life I had to fight!” – Sofia, “The Color Purple”

Well, not really! 

All my life, my mother told me that “Life is a struggle!”, “You have to work hard to get what you want!”, “Life is about surviving!”, and on and on! I was indoctrinated, whether I liked it or not, with the Negro narrative, the Immigrant narrative, the African narrative, the Ugandan narrative, the Women’s narrative, the Mother’s narrative, I could go on… Yes, the Ugandan narrative is very different from the African narrative. Listen, I am doing my best not to laugh. This is a very serious article that needs to be taken seriously. Ok!

Now, this was my mother’s story. She struggled a lot, by all accounts the struggle is not over! However, I remember telling her, when I was about 12 years old, that I wanted to thrive, not just survive. I could not understand why struggling was a constant condition for her. Then, I got older. I went through serious challenges, like 19 years of marriage (still married… just!) and raising a teenager. Here is where I find myself, realizing that most of my struggles stemmed with me and so busy trying to make things happen, rather than allowing things to happen. I found out that I was the main source of my struggle, Hitler has nothing on me! There is nothing so perseverant, as the mind dedicated to struggle. It becomes a badge of honor. I recall have Yankee candle lit conversations with my Mount Holyoke sisters about how badly we were beaten as children. I have know I idea what was true. I will admit that I exaggerated to move up the leaderboard. But hey! College fund and games! Super-sized Jenga, anyone?

With #TheStruggleIsReal trending (Somewhere, I guess.), struggle is the new black. I write about it all day. (Wait for it… A plug! Read my articles here. I have more on LinkedIn, just in case you were feening for some work related banter. ) However, how do we move out of a place of struggle, to a place where we have abundant energy, limitless ideas and constant creativity. How about this for a change? WE DO NOTHING! Yup, that’s right. We put a few things in motion towards our intentions and sit back and relax. (Oprah says it is true, so it must be!) I will tell you that this is one of the hardest things for me to do. I have Daddy issues and need to feel in control to feel safe. (A side note that you did not ask for. Long story, but I am sure you know it. This happened. Then, that happened. I felt sad. Blah, Blah, Blah! I am not going to go on about it. I will leave those long winded stories for my therapist.)

Back to doing nothing! Well yes, you take action, but let it percolate. Do your Desire and Destiny Meditation with Oprah and Deepak. Talk to your kid. Put down your phone. Ok, I am not doing so well, considering it is 7:16pm and I could be watching a film with my husband and son. However, I feel inspired and compelled to share this moment, more like moments, of enlightenment and touch of humor with you! 

So, I am going to threaten you, like I threaten my 13 year old son. Get off your electronic devices and enjoy your family. Do nothing, but relax, or I’ll take away your devices for a week. No back talk, or I will extend that for another week. 

You know what, do what you need to do. This was only a suggestion! Funny! I think my son takes my threats as suggestions as well. That must be the problem! (Squinted eyes, Index finger to forehead!)

Until next time!


P.S. HA! You thought this would be a serious piece. Nope, I just wanted to make you laugh, with interjections of my reality to make it authentic! Lighten up! Have more fun! Buy that bag! Take that trip! You don’t have the money? Walk into that store, car dealership, or visit that travel website, like you have the cash to throw down! You will be surprised at how it just shows up, when you relax and do NOTHING! 



  • Birungi Ives

    A Marketing Consultant, Strategist, and Author

    My life's journey to date has taught me that authentic connection is the foundation for greatness! Through my work and my words, I foster authentic connection for those seeking their fullest potential, unforeseen opportunity and unlimited success with their endeavors. I welcome you to learn more at www.a-ligne.com !