Everyone’s aware that any social connection requires work and care. But when it comes to love and marriage it takes strength and dedication to keep the relationship going. Being in a relationship especially being married is not always rainbows and butterflies. There will be times when you have difficulties and disagreement with your partner and in order to overcome those troubles, it’s necessary to nurture your relationship. No matter if you’ve just married or have been for years, you should be aware that there’s a lot of work involved in the saying “and they lived happily ever after”.
Complement over Complete
Romantic movies for sure can create unrealistic expectations of relationships. Hearing a saying in a movie “You complete me” sounds lovely, but this is not something you should aim for in your relationship or marriage. If you expect someone to complete you, you may end up in an over-dependent relationship which can stop you both from growing as an individual. Happy marriages are the ones where both of the partners have their freedom, interests and desires instead of relying on the spouse to fulfil you.
It’s a normal thing for a person to change over time. Change can affect both behaviour and attitude. Couples that have been married long enough have learned that trying to change the other person is not that possible. Often, it’s just ourselves that we can change. To have a successful marriage, a couple should be willing to grow and adapt because everyone’s needs are changing and so are relationships. It’s important to understand each other and to listen to the needs of one another. Couples should be able to bend and flex, after all, it takes two to tango.
People tend to take things for granted, especially their loved ones. This often happens to veteran couples. When you’re with someone all the time you get used to being with that person. At the beginning of the marriage, things seem wonderful and couples do their best to have their spouse’s attention and to spice up the marriage. After a while, this tendency gradually starts to fade away which has its effect on the marriage. To avoid this, whenever you get a chance and feel like it, express your appreciation to your partner. You could do this by letting your partner know what you like about them, or something thoughtful they’ve done. For instance, if your spouse made you breakfast in bed, tell them it helped you start a day with a smile.
All The Small Things
For a happy marriage, it’s advisable to let go of all those little things that upset you about your partner and instead just to be present with your spouse. Take some action and express your love on a daily basis not just on big dates such as birthdays and holidays. This includes a simple thought of your partner just by checking in with them or asking if there’s anything you could do for them. Go out and get your partner a cup of coffee, or send them a same day flower delivery. It’s the little acts of kindness that count and that will make your marriage even stronger.
Respect Each Other
When things get tough and you need to vent about your partner, make sure not to present your partner in a negative light to other people. Instead, whenever you talk about your spouse in front of others, try to say the best things about your loved one, even when you have enough reasons to complain about. The happiest marriages respect each other no matter the circumstances and troubles they’re dealing with. They still have faith and love for each other even though they’ve ran into an obstacle. How couples think, what they think of their spouse, and how much they value one another in return affects how they perceive themselves. As for any kind of social connection, not just romantic ones, the relationship is like a boomerang – what you expect and how you treat your partner matters and might come back to you the same way.
Go On a Date
No matter how long you’ve been married, if your newlyweds or been married for years, don’t forget to take your partner on dates. There should be always enough of time to connect, reconnect and be intimate with your spouse. For a strong and everlasting relationship, it’s important to never stop taking time to appreciate your loved one. Going on dates will make both of you feel happy, satisfied and young.
Comfort Each Other
Being married means someone will always have your back no matter what. During hard times, make sure you’re there for your spouse even when you can’t find the right words and express your support verbally. But sometimes, no words are needed. Sometimes just by being there to hold your spouse’s hand or hug them could do more work than a few words. Feeling of comfort and belonging is more powerful than words that might fade away or worsen the situation.
In order to have a happy marriage, make sure you and your partner have some common interests and experiences. Sharing the same activities or having the same passion about something, can strengthen the bond between the two of you. Even if you don’t share the same activities you could learn a new skill or a trick together – eg. taking a dancing class or ice skating lessons. These activities will enrich not only your day but your relationship too. And don’t forget to make each other laugh. A simple joke or just by being goofy could make you and your partner’s day better when you’re having a bad day. These simple gestures will give you warmth and security you need at that moment.
Being married is not an easy thing to do. It takes strength and willingness to invest and work on your marriage. There’s no secret ingredient to a healthy and successful marriage, but there are everyday decisions you make to nurture your marriage and to keep it growing stronger day by day.