“Confidence isn’t something you’re born with—it’s something you build through action. The more you step outside your comfort zone, the more you prove to yourself that you are capable, resilient, and deserving of success.”
— Nicola Slater
In a world where societal expectations often dictate how we should live, achieving true fulfillment requires breaking free from comparison, setting clear boundaries, and embracing confidence. Nicola Slater, a high-performance leadership coach with nearly three decades of experience, has dedicated her career to helping women redefine success on their own terms. Through her transformative coaching programs, she empowers women to overcome self-doubt, cultivate confidence, and create lives that align with their personal values. In this conversation, Nicola shares her insights on breaking free from external pressures, building resilience, and making intentional choices that foster growth and happiness.
In this exclusive interview, Nicola dives deep into the key elements of living authentically, including the importance of setting boundaries, embracing imperfection, and shifting mindset patterns that hold women back. She also provides actionable strategies for developing confidence, stepping into leadership roles, and making meaningful life transitions. Whether you’re looking to pivot in your career, gain clarity in your personal life, or simply feel more empowered in your daily decisions, Nicola’s wisdom and practical guidance will inspire you to take charge and start living life on your terms.
Thank you so much for joining us, Nicola! Our readers would love to get to know you a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your backstory?
Absolutely! I’ve been a high-performance leadership coach for nearly three decades, helping women redefine success on their own terms. Throughout my career, I’ve worked with women from all walks of life—entrepreneurs, executives, educators, and creatives—guiding them through personal and professional transformations. My passion lies in helping women understand their strengths, navigate limiting beliefs, and design a life that aligns with their values. I believe every woman has the potential to lead with confidence, but too often, societal expectations and self-doubt hold them back. My mission is to help them overcome these obstacles and step into their full potential.
You focus a lot on living life on your own terms. What does that really mean to you?
Living life on your own terms means embracing your unique values and goals without feeling pressured to conform to societal norms or the traditional definitions of success. Too often, we measure ourselves against others—whether it’s through social media, cultural expectations, or professional achievements—and in doing so, we lose sight of what truly fulfills us. Living authentically requires self-awareness, confidence, and the courage to create a life that feels right for you, not one that meets someone else’s expectations. It’s about shifting the focus inward, asking yourself, What do I want? What brings me joy? Once you define success on your own terms, you can start making intentional choices that align with your vision, rather than feeling stuck in comparison or doubt.
I love that! So many people struggle with comparison. It’s easy to look at someone else’s success and feel like you’re falling short. How can people break free from that mindset?
Breaking free from comparison requires a conscious effort to shift your mindset and reframe how you perceive success. Instead of seeing others as competition, view their success as proof that possibilities exist. Surround yourself with inspiring people, but don’t measure your journey against theirs—focus on your own progress. One of the most powerful exercises is gratitude journaling; when you regularly acknowledge what you have accomplished, you stop fixating on what you haven’t. Another strategy is setting personal milestones rather than external benchmarks. Ask yourself, What are my values? What do I want to achieve? By keeping your attention on your unique path, you free yourself from the cycle of self-comparison and start making choices that feel fulfilling rather than performative.
That’s so true! Now, if someone wants to start living life on their own terms, what is the first step?
The first step is building confidence. Many people believe they need to find their purpose first, but I’ve found that without confidence, even the most exciting purpose remains out of reach. Confidence is the foundation that allows you to take action, overcome setbacks, and trust yourself enough to pursue what you truly want. It starts with small, consistent actions—challenging yourself to step outside your comfort zone, embracing self-improvement, and recognizing your worth. The more you show up for yourself, the more confident you become. Confidence isn’t something you’re born with—it’s something you cultivate by proving to yourself, through action, that you are capable and deserving.
That makes a lot of sense. When I discovered my purpose, I still had to build my confidence and overcome self-doubt before I could fully embrace it. What’s your advice for someone struggling with confidence?
If you’re struggling with confidence, start by examining your self-talk. Many women unknowingly sabotage themselves with negative inner dialogue—doubting their abilities, questioning their worth, or fearing failure before they even begin. Confidence is built through action, but before action comes belief. Begin by replacing limiting thoughts with empowering ones. Instead of saying, I’m not good enough, tell yourself, I am learning and growing every day. Another powerful exercise is visualization—imagine yourself succeeding, feel the emotions tied to that success, and let that vision guide you. Confidence is like a muscle; the more you exercise it—through small wins, taking risks, and reinforcing positive self-talk—the stronger it becomes.
That’s powerful! What role do boundaries play in this journey?
Boundaries are essential because they define how you value yourself and how others treat you. Many women, especially those raised with the mindset of being caregivers, struggle with saying no, fearing they’ll disappoint others or seem unkind. But setting boundaries isn’t about pushing people away—it’s about honoring your own needs and ensuring that you don’t deplete yourself in the process of helping others. When you establish healthy boundaries, you protect your energy, maintain your mental well-being, and create space for the things that truly matter to you. It’s an act of self-respect that, over time, strengthens your confidence and allows you to live with greater clarity and purpose.
Many women struggle with saying no. What’s a polite yet firm way to start setting boundaries?
The key is to say no with kindness and clarity. Instead of feeling obligated to explain or justify, simply state your limits with confidence. A great way to frame it is: “I’d love to help, but I don’t have the capacity right now.” This communicates your boundaries while keeping the door open for future engagement. If someone persistently ignores your boundaries, it’s crucial to remain consistent. People often test limits, and if you give in once, they’ll expect it again. Setting boundaries isn’t just about saying no—it’s about teaching people how to treat you. The more you practice, the easier it becomes to stand firm while maintaining positive relationships.
That’s such great advice! Once a woman starts gaining confidence and setting boundaries, how does this transformation affect her life?
The transformation is profound. Once a woman starts setting boundaries and building confidence, she experiences a sense of freedom and control over her own life. She stops feeling guilty for prioritizing herself and starts recognizing her own worth. She also becomes more selective with her time and energy, which leads to deeper, more meaningful relationships. Her career flourishes because she is no longer afraid to speak up, take risks, or demand the opportunities she deserves. Most importantly, she starts living with greater authenticity and fulfillment because she is no longer operating from a place of obligation, but rather from a place of choice and intention.
That’s amazing! What services do you offer to help women on this journey?
I offer personalized coaching programs designed to help women redefine themselves, build confidence, and create meaningful change. Whether they’re looking to pivot careers, launch a business, or step into leadership roles, I provide strategic guidance and mindset coaching to help them navigate the transition. My approach is holistic—I help women not only set clear goals but also overcome the subconscious barriers that hold them back. I also offer discovery calls where we assess where you are, where you want to be, and what’s preventing you from getting there. It’s a great way to gain clarity and take that first step toward transformation.
That sounds incredible! How can our readers further follow your work online?
You can find me at NicolaSalter.com. I’m also on Instagram at @NicolaSalterEmpowers and on LinkedIn under Nicola Salter. I encourage women to book a discovery call with me through my website. It’s a great opportunity to explore where you are in life, where you want to go, and how we can create a roadmap to get you there.
Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom today, Nicola! I love the work you do, and I know so many women will benefit from your insights.
Thank you, Stacey! It’s been a pleasure. I appreciate you and all the incredible work you do as well.
