You can hear the alarm going off and the smell of coffee is drifting in from the kitchen. You know you need to get up, you have a busy day ahead, instead you hit the snooze button.
For one golden moment you retreat to your dream life, where money doesn’t dictate your choices, the love of your life understands and loves you more than anyone else and you’ve found the purpose you have spent your whole life searching for. You are finally happy and free.
The alarm goes off again and the dream is over.
You spend the morning commute listening to rappers talk about a hard knock life and watching glum faces pile onto the train. You keep your head down at work, only to perk up when you discuss with your equally uninterested colleague what you would do if you won the lottery.
Sound familiar to you?
Tomorrow I’m going to give you a gift that will get us the mind tools to help you achieve that dream life. All you need to do, is make a simple choice.
When the train
Still hesitating…Has the fear seeped into your pores?
Let me tell you about my gate.
Many years ago on my daily commute to work, I used to dream about the day I would pull the emergency handle on the train and jump out. I’d fantasise about the freedom I’d feel walking through this gate and was certain that whatever was on the other side was better than the life I was living. I even created a children’s story that revolved around this gate.
It was a pivital moment in my life when I decided to find this gate; with butterflies in my stomach and trepidation tingling down to my fingertips, I opened the gate and it changed my life forever.
But I didn’t get transported into my fantasy world where life was perfect and I was happy. No, I was still me, walking down an unremarkable forest path as squirrels threw nuts down at me.
I came to the bitter realisation that no matter how far I went, or what I’d accomplished, it would never be enough to fill the void inside. I was destined to spend my life unsubconsciously searching for something I couldn’t define. Constantly reaching out, only to be disappointed with feelings of restlessness.
I hated my life but accepted that until I could figure out what I wanted to do, I had to keep on getting on that train everyday and supporting those that needed me.
It took a complete stranger with a bottle of Jack Daniels in a dream to wake me up. As we sat on a park bench he asked me what was holding me back. I explained my situation and how I was helpless to change my life. He laughed and shook his head. Pouring a another glass and said
‘No Chrystal, the only person holding you back is you. YOU are only accountable for YOUR life, nobody elses. You don’t like it, change it.’
When I woke, the seemingly unfathomable truth that had been evading me became clear. If I wanted to change my life and be happy, I needed to look within and be completely accountable for the unhappiness I wallowed in. It was my choices that lead me there and it would be my choices and attitude that would set me free.
That was the hardest thing to do, accepting accountbility. I’m sure many of you are shaking your heads and maybe you even believe that your unhappiness is the result of somebody else’s actions. Be it your boss, lover, parent, child, friend.
Maybe you’re right…But what are you doing now to regain your happiness? What choices did you make to end up in that situation?
Your ego will try and convince you that every decision made was the right choice when you made it. Let me ask you, are you happy now? If not, then surely at some point you made a choice that lead you here?
There is a reason why you refuse to accept this concept easily. By accepting accountability for every choice means also taking responsibility for negative outcomes. But it’s ok, by taking control of your actions and attitudes today, you will positively influence the outcome of your future.
If you are unhappy with your life, question yourself why and then ask yourself what are YOU going to do about it?
Be brutal, but always remember to forgive yourself and move on.
When you feel life is spiralling, always remember YOU are in control. You can choose not go to work today, , but you will never be able to escape the face in the mirror. Respect yourself, be accountable and make the change