Look for how you can best contribute to others.
The old perception of success really centers solely around accruing more as a sign of growth; more cars, bigger house, designer clothes. Although these can bring you momentary happiness, the difference you make in another person’s life can bring you joy everytime you think about it. The legacy that you leave behind, how you will be remembered by those whose lives you’ve touched is one definition of success that will live even beyond what you can fully comprehend.
Have you ever noticed how often we equate success with more? Whether that’s more products, more profits, more activities or more accomplishments, we buy into the belief that we have to do more to have more to be more. And that will sum up to success. And then along comes The Great Resignation. Where employees are signaling that the “more” that’s being offered — even more pay, more perks, and more PTO — isn’t summing up to success for them. We visited with leaders who are redefining what success means now. Their answers might surprise you.
As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Makhosi Nejeser, Founder of The Royal Shaman.
Makhosi Nejeser, also known as ‘The Royal Shaman’, is a Spiritual Guide and Human Potential Expert, who helps soul-seekers fulfill their highest potential and build the business empire of their dreams by following their Euphoria, aligning with their soul-purpose, and metaphysics mastery.
Thank you for making time to visit with us about the topic of our time. Our readers would like to get to know you a bit better. Can you please tell us about one or two life experiences that most shaped who you are today?
One of the most pivotal life experiences for me (which also shaped my perception of success) was my journey to motherhood. I struggled for years with my reproductive system and at only 22 years old, the doctor let me know that, based on my challenges with severe endometriosis & polycystic ovarian syndrome, I should consider having a child with my then-fiance as he believed I had 5 years of fertility max. I ended up going through a challenging year of fertility treatments, 6 months of bedrest during my pregnancy and ended up in the hospital for 5 days a few days after giving birth when I developed post-partum pre-eclampsia. This all occurred when in my senior year of college when I was finishing up my pre-requisites and making plans to go to medical school. After so much struggle to become a mother (and knowing this was likely to be my only opportunity), I just couldn’t see myself leaving my newborn to pursue medical school. I ended up working at Target as a manager & made my way into Direct Sales where I had my first experience with the societal definition of “success”.
We all have myths and misconceptions about success. What are some myths or misconceptions that you used to believe?
Many of us believe that success (or money) is what will make us happy so we end up spending years seeking the external validation of accomplishment which only lasts for a brief period of time. I mean, how long did the happiness from achieving your last goal actually last? One day? A week? Even if it lasts a month, it isn’t long before you’re back to chasing the next goal for success.
I also used to believe that having a traditional education was not only required to succeed but also that it would guarantee a minimum standard of living. Needless to say, after graduating Magna Cum Laude with two Bachelor’s degrees & years of work experience under my belt, I found myself overqualified for many of the entry-level positions I applied for, ending up in a position at Target (that didn’t even require a degree).
It’s also common to believe that hard work equals success; do you know anyone whose an incredibly hard worker that hasn’t created their definition of success? Most likely your answer is yes because MOST of us do. I spent so many years confused because I was surrounded by truly hard working people but none of them felt like they were “successful” (even those who most would’ve deemed successful). It took some time but I realized that effort does not necessarily create success.
How has your definition of success changed?
My definition of success now comes from how much my life is aligned with who I am & what I value now, not someday in the future that may not ever come. For me, that means asking myself difficult questions like, “Am I prioritizing my loved ones in my life?” “Am I taking actions from who I authentically am or who I think I have to be in order to create success?” “If I died today, would I be able to say I lived my life to the fullest?”
I also see success more holistically; it’s about living a well-rounded life physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, socially and yes, financially. Can I really claim to be successful if I only have social status but no one I can trust? How much does an another degree really matter if my health keeps me from contributing to the world?
The pandemic, in many ways, was a time of collective self-reflection. What changes do you believe we need to make as a society to access success post pandemic?
We have been so blessed with a moment in time where we all took a pause together to really look in the mirror and see if the way we live, our systems, our structures are actually in alignment with our best interests. Overwhelmingly as a collective, the answer has been “No”, & many are bravely creating new realities for themselves. The biggest opportunity I see for us is to create structures for creative contribution & work where there is flexibility for each individual’s lifestyle needs as well as deep meaning for greater fulfillment. I honestly never see us going back to the way it was.
What do you see as the unexpected positives in the pandemic? We would love to hear a few of your stories or examples.
I saw a lot of people really begin to prioritize their health & mental stability as a direct result of lockdowns. Because we were really not able to distract ourselves with entertainment, socializing & work, some people started to put some of that energy into improving their well-being.
From a business perspective, I contribute so much of my growth as a direct result of the pandemic. Since the start of the pandemic, my business revenue has 4x’ed two years in a row as everyone is highly focused on the depth & quality of their life while still growing their business.
I also have attracted a LOT of nurses, doctors, and other entrepreneurs in STEM fields who are coming with questions like, “How can we create a better future for ourselves and others?” The conversations have really shifted from pure materialism to really deeper conversations around consciousness and legacy. It honestly gets me so excited because when we start to open ourselves up to what’s truly possible, we can absolutely change the world.
We’re all looking for answers about how to be successful now. Could you please share “5 Ways To Redefine Success Now?”
- Let go of the “shoulds” and “have to’s”.
How often are you doing what you think you “should” be doing or that you “have to” do? What would it be like if your life was full of, “I get to do _____” ? I can guess that it wouldn’t take long before you were jumping out of the bed every morning, excited for what you were going to experience that day. You would be hard-pressed to find someone who could argue that loving your life everyday isn’t something worth aspiring to.
2. Practice gratitude daily.
So much of our ideas of success center around thinking that when we achieve something in the future that we will have something to be proud of, something to be grateful for, something that will make us happy.. When we take time each day to examine what we have to be grateful for, much of which was something we dreamed of at some point in our past, we’re much more likely to be happy. If happiness is the goal, why not focus on what you already have that brings you joy?
3. Look for how you can best contribute to others.
The old perception of success really centers solely around accruing more as a sign of growth; more cars, bigger house, designer clothes. Although these can bring you momentary happiness, the difference you make in another person’s life can bring you joy everytime you think about it. The legacy that you leave behind, how you will be remembered by those whose lives you’ve touched is one definition of success that will live even beyond what you can fully comprehend.
4. Focus on the journey, not just the destination.
I’ve seen countless examples of successful individuals who were so because of their devotion to enjoying the process, not just chasing an end goal. When someone genuinely loves what they do, everyone around them feels it and is inspired too, but when you are miserable in what you’re doing, pursuing it only because you think it will make you successful, we absolutely feel that too… and it ain’t pretty. You may not be able to monetize every one of your passions (and honestly, doing so may actually kill your passion) but enjoying the process of personal evolution will bring the feeling of success into your life on a consistent basis.
5. Say “No” more often.
Everytime you say “Yes” to something that you don’t really want to do, you’re saying “No” to something else that you really want. From a young age, we’re conditioned to please others, starting with our parents, in order to get praise and acceptance. There is a major difference between sacrificing yourself, your desires & dreams, & lookingfor how you can be of greatest service to others. Very often, the way you can make the greatest impact in the world will require to just say “No” to the things that are draining your energy, keeping you from sharing your greatest talents, skills & knowledge with those who truly value you.
How would our lives improve if we changed our definition of success?
The greatest change would be that we get to actually enjoy our life NOW, not later. If we allow ourselves to be more present, it’s easier to see how much of life can be joyful and become aware of where we may need to make changes. When we are singularly focused just on future goals, it’s easy to have tunnel vision and become blind to the areas in our lives that we’ve neglected
What’s the biggest obstacle that stands in the way of our redefined success? And what advice would you offer about overcoming those obstacles?
The biggest obstacle you will likely face is judgment from yourself and from others. Anytime you challenge old ways of thinking and being, your inner resistance will rise up. Understanding that this is a natural process and also that no one lives your life but you can help to keep you motivated to stay true to what’s right for YOU.
Where do you go to look for inspiration and information about how to redefine success?
I spend a lot of time going inward in quiet contemplation about what I really desire. I examine what areas of my life are fulfilling me & what simply is not, taking an audit first then deciding from there what I will do about it. Often, I’ve found that some of the areas that aren’t fulfilling for me are an opportunity for me to practice saying “No” more to the expectations of others and “Yes” to more of the things that truly light me up. .
We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He, she or they might just see this if we tag them.
I would LOVE to have a breakfast with Bozoma Saint John, CMO of Netflix. She is one of the most authentic public figures I’ve seen despite facing immense pressure as a black female executive.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
You can visit my website directly at www.TheRoyalShaman.com or follow me on Instagram @theroyalshaman
Thank you for these fantastic insights. We greatly appreciate the time you spent on this. We wish you continued success and good health.