“The holidays are about connection, love, and creating meaningful moments—not perfection. Give yourself grace, let go of what doesn’t truly matter, and focus on the joy of being with the people you care about.”
– Dr. Susan Landers
The holiday season is a time of joy, celebration, and togetherness, but for many moms, it can also be one of the most stressful times of the year. Between decorating, shopping, coordinating schedules, and making everything “perfect” for their families, the emotional and mental load can quickly become overwhelming. For working moms especially, the added pressure to balance career responsibilities with holiday preparations often leads to burnout and exhaustion. To help moms navigate this chaotic time, Dr. Susan Landers, a retired neonatologist, author, and expert on stress management, shares practical strategies to ease holiday stress while finding joy in the season.
In this engaging conversation, Dr. Landers opens up about her personal experiences as a working mom and offers actionable advice to help moms prioritize what truly matters. From the power of lists and time management to self-care and setting boundaries, she provides simple yet impactful ways to lighten the mental load and avoid holiday burnout. With a deep understanding of the unique challenges moms face, Dr. Landers reminds us all to give ourselves grace, let go of perfectionism, and focus on the moments that make the holidays special.
Thank you so much for joining us, Dr. Susan! Our readers would love to get to know you a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your backstory?
Of course, Stacey. I’ve always been drawn to helping others, and that passion led me to a career as a neonatologist. For 34 years, I worked in the NICU, caring for premature and sick babies and supporting their families during some of the most challenging moments of their lives. It was an incredible journey—rewarding but also intense. After I retired, I felt I had so much more to share, not just about my medical experiences, but about the challenges of being a working mom. That’s how my memoir, So Many Babies, came to be. It’s filled with NICU stories and reflections on balancing a demanding career with motherhood. Now, I’ve expanded my mission with my Moms Matter newsletter and podcast, where I focus on helping moms navigate the stressors of modern parenting while prioritizing their well-being.
The holidays are such a joyful time, but they can also feel overwhelming. Why do you think this time of year is so stressful, especially for moms?
The holidays are wonderful, but they come with an extra layer of pressure, especially for moms. We already carry a heavy mental load throughout the year—balancing work, parenting, and running a household. During the holidays, that load grows exponentially. There’s gift shopping, decorating, planning family gatherings, attending school performances, and coordinating schedules. On top of that, there’s often this unspoken expectation to make everything “magical” for everyone else. It’s exhausting, and many moms don’t give themselves permission to let go of tasks that aren’t truly essential.
What’s the first step for moms who are feeling that holiday stress build up?
The best place to start is by pausing and taking a moment to breathe. Sit down and think about what truly matters to you and your family this holiday season. What are the moments you want to create? Then, make a list of everything you want to accomplish, and prioritize the things that are most meaningful. Let go of the rest. For example, if making five types of cookies for a holiday party feels overwhelming, skip it—or buy pre-made dough! It’s about simplifying where you can and focusing your energy on the things that bring the most joy.
Lists seem to play a big role in staying organized. Why are they so effective?
Lists are lifesavers because they help you get all the mental clutter out of your head and onto paper. It’s much easier to stay organized when you can see everything in one place. A family calendar is another great tool. When everyone knows what’s coming up, there are fewer last-minute surprises, like your partner suddenly remembering their office party or your child mentioning a school project that’s due tomorrow. Having a clear schedule reduces stress and makes it easier to plan ahead.
With so much going on, how can moms carve out time for themselves during the holidays?
Self-care is absolutely essential. I always tell moms that self-care isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity, especially during the holidays. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. Maybe it’s taking a 10-minute walk around the block, meeting a friend for coffee, or spending a few quiet minutes with a good book. Find something that recharges your energy and makes you feel grounded. What’s important is making it a priority. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and taking care of yourself helps you show up better for your family.
How can moms tell when they’ve hit their limit?
We all have our personal signals. For me, it was snapping at my kids or getting frustrated over little things, like the dog making a mess. Those were my red flags that I was stretched too thin. When you notice those moments, it’s a sign to step back, take a deep breath, and recalibrate. Whether it’s a quick meditation, a short walk, or just sitting in a quiet room for a few minutes, stepping away helps you reset before things spiral out of control.
What about setting boundaries? That can feel tough during the holidays.
It can, but it’s so important. Saying no to extra commitments is one of the best gifts you can give yourself. If someone at work asks you to take on a new project, it’s okay to say, “I can’t right now.” At home, delegation is key. Get your partner involved or ask your kids to help. Let your teenager pick up extra decorations from the store or involve younger kids in baking. Delegating doesn’t just lighten your load—it also makes everyone feel included in the holiday preparations.
For moms who might not have a strong support system, what advice would you give?
Lean on the people you do have, even if it’s just one trusted friend, family member, or coworker. Sometimes, just talking things through with someone can make a big difference. Share the load where you can. Maybe your best friend knows where to find that must-have toy for your child, or your neighbor can recommend a good babysitter for an afternoon so you can run errands alone. Even small acts of support can make the holidays feel more manageable.
Do you have any tips for managing time during such a busy season?
It’s all about being intentional with your time. Start each day with a plan. Use your to-do lists to prioritize tasks, and don’t be afraid to cross things off that no longer feel important. And don’t forget to build in time to rest. Taking a short break—whether it’s a coffee break or a quick walk—can help you recharge and approach the rest of your tasks with more energy.
Social media seems to add another layer of pressure during the holidays. How can moms avoid falling into the comparison trap?
This is such a big one. My advice is to stay off social media as much as possible. Those perfect holiday photos you see on Instagram or Pinterest? Most of them are staged. Some people even hire professionals to decorate their homes or curate those picture-perfect moments. Instead of comparing yourself to what you see online, focus on creating your own meaningful moments. The holidays aren’t about perfection—they’re about connection and joy.
How can moms make sure they still enjoy the holidays amidst all the chaos?
Choose activities that genuinely bring you joy. For me, that might be attending a candlelight service or watching my granddaughter’s school performance. These moments remind us what the holidays are truly about—connection, love, and gratitude. It’s also important to let go of the idea that everything has to be perfect. Your family won’t remember if your cookies were store-bought, but they’ll remember the time you spent together.
I know you’ve written extensively about burnout. Can you share a bit about your e-book, Defeating Burnout?
Of course. Defeating Burnout is a guide for managing chronic stress and finding balance. It’s based on my personal experiences as a working mom who faced burnout multiple times. In the book, I talk about the signs of burnout, how stress affects our bodies, and practical strategies for recovery. I included a range of techniques—from mindfulness exercises to boundary-setting—so readers can find what works best for them. I want moms to know they’re not alone and that there are ways to heal and thrive.
What other resources do you offer for moms?
My Moms Matter newsletter is a great resource for tips and advice, and I host a monthly Q&A session where moms can ask anything that’s on their minds. I also provide one-on-one counseling for those who want more personalized support. On my website, I’ve created a collection of free resources for new and expectant moms, including blogs on newborn care and developmental milestones. My goal is to empower moms with the tools and knowledge they need to feel confident and supported.
How can our readers follow your work and stay connected with you?
The best place to start is my website, SusanLandersMD.com. I’m also active on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn under Dr. Susan Landers. My Moms Matter newsletter on Substack is free to subscribe to and includes a lot of helpful advice. I really encourage moms to join the monthly Q&A sessions—it’s such a great way to connect and feel supported.
Thank you so much for sharing these insights. This has been such an inspiring and helpful conversation.
Thank you, Stacey. I’ve really enjoyed this. I hope these tips help moms everywhere find joy and peace during the holiday season.
Dr. Susan Landers is a retired neonatologist, author, and speaker with over 30 years of experience caring for premature and critically ill newborns. Beyond her medical career, she is a passionate advocate for mothers, helping them navigate the challenges of parenting, work-life balance, and burnout. Through her memoir, So Many Babies, her e-book, Defeating Burnout, and her Moms Matter newsletter, Dr. Landers provides practical strategies and compassionate support to empower moms to prioritize self-care, manage stress, and thrive in their roles.