Inspiring coaches master their emotions and deal with them effectively. As a result, they are able to keep the main objective in mind and communicate their goal with- out getting caught up in their emotions. They move from being emotional to being emotionally intelligent.

“A leader’s emotions are highly contagious,” writes Annie McKee, a senior fellow at the University of Pennsylvania Graduate School of Education and author of How to Be Happy at Work, in a blog on Harvard Business Review. So, you want to “manage your feelings accordingly to create the kind of environment where people can work together to make decisions and get things done.”

Controlling your emotions does not mean being emotionless. In fact, most people like and appreciate emotion as long as it is appropriate and constructive. Mastering your emotions enables you to intentionally elevate or calm your own and others’ emotions to achieve a desired outcome. 

People will mirror your emotions.  That’s why discussions can easily become heated and counterproductive; each party matches and escalates the level of emotion. It’s a lose-lose situation.

As the leader and coach, when you are aware of your emotions and keep an eye on the outcome instead of needing to be right, you can de-escalate the emotional tone of the conversation and enable clearer heads to work toward the desired outcome. It’s a win-win. The mutual goal is more likely achieved and the relationship is enhanced instead of damaged.

You can intentionally manage your emotions to motivate, inspire, and encourage your team members as appropriate.

I will share how you can do that over the next several posts.

Find more in my new book with my very emotionally intelligent co-author. It will help you inspire winning results and relationships.


  • Lee J. Colan, Ph.D.

    Executive Advisor and Leadership Consultant

    Lee J. Colan, Ph.D. is a rare combination of a highly-trained business consultant and coach to leading organizations, prolific author and engaging presenter of ideas. Lee has authored 15 popular books that have been translated into 10 languages, including the bestselling Engaging the Hearts and Minds of All Your Employees. He has also created over 100 practical models and products that equip and inspire leaders at every level. Learn more and access free tools at