Photo by Jonatan Lewczuk on Unsplash

So often I hear people who are stressed, sad or overwhelmed say, “I just wish life wasn’t so hard.” While life can be hard with our ongoing political problems, crimes, medical issues or just everyday stresses, what we as a society fail to realize is that our lives are often hard because of our own doing.

Now hear me out before you get those twitter fingers ready to explode all the rage and opinions you have. Take a step back from yourself and really look at your life. What choices did you make that had a hand in making your life just a little bit harder? And really be honest with yourself.

Too often in today’s society we play the blame and victim game. This happened because of this person and not really my own doing. But did you keep going back to the same person who broke your heart? Did you stay at that job because you were comfortable and did not want to grow? Did you continue with your problematic behaviors and patterns instead of fixing them? Did you continue overspending and now are in serious debt?

Take a step back from yourself and really look at your life.

As I began thinking of my blog and what was the general theme around my posts, I kept coming back to the decisions I have made in my own life. And boy was it an eye opener! I realized a lot of my own issues were because of the decisions I made.

Stay in a toxic relationship and you’re breaking your own heart. While the other party has their part to play, you see their true colors and decide to stay. You can walk away anytime you want but you choose to stay in the circus.

You don’t want to budget or save? Well I guess you like throwing away money every month. You don’t really need that new phone (I mean unless it’s really broken lol), new clothes or extra materialistic stuff. Trust me when I say the last thing we all need to do is to go to target and drop $200.00 on nothing we remember the following day. It’s utterly sad and tragic.

“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.”

― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

We as humans forget we are responsible for our own choices and attitude. Our attitude, choices, and lifestyles are our own making. Yes, people can come and influence our choices or attitudes but that does not mean we need to give in. That does not mean that we allow outside sources or even ourselves for that matter to make our lives harder.

We deal with a lot in our everyday lives. Why should we make it harder than it actually needs to be? Why make a choice that you know can have serious ramifications on our future? Why not sit down and really think about the choice that is presented in front of you? Why not weigh your options back and forth?

Listen let’s be real for a second. We are ALL going to make mistakes in our lives. It’s inevitable. Without mistakes we wouldn’t grow and become a better version of ourselves. However the difference between those mistakes is if you learned your lesson or continue the lesson. A lesson will continue until it is learned.

My own version of this comes in the form of men I date because of patterns I learned as child and needs not being met, self worth not shown and lack of real support. So my whole life I chased men who were broken like me, unsupported like me, and did not have the support like me.

I became their mother hen meeting their needs constantly even if mine were not. Because I knew what it was like to not get all the love and support and I wanted that for them. This pattern continued until my 30’s and I am still trying to break it. I do not want that lesson to continuously be repeated even though it is from early childhood until now. But I want to learn and better myself.

Basically when you know better you do better. And I deserve that. What you make of your life is up to you. Stop always blaming the universe and take real accountability for your actions/choices. These patterns and lessons that we repeat are repeating for a reason. Whether it be emotional, physical, partners, children, or jobs.

Other people and the universe are not always to blame. Yes we can get dealt a real crappy hand, but what we do with that crap depends on us. You may not like this world or yourself for whatever reason you could possibly have but the beauty is that you do have a choice. And that is to better yourself. Make better choices. Learn your lessons. And I promise you and your life will become better for it.