What if we didn’t have to label this moment as good or bad?
What if it was enough to say: “Maybe, maybe not. We’ll see.”
There’s an ancient Chinese parable about a farmer. One day, his horse runs away. The neighbors come rushing in—“What terrible luck!” they say. The farmer simply replies, “Maybe, maybe not. We’ll see.”
A few days later, the horse returns—bringing with it several wild mares. The neighbors celebrate: “What great luck!” The farmer calmly replies, “Maybe, maybe not. We’ll see.”
Later, the farmer’s son tries to tame one of the new horses and is thrown off—breaking his leg. The neighbors again lament: “What terrible luck!” And the farmer says once more, “Maybe, maybe not. We’ll see.”
Weeks later, soldiers come to recruit young men for war. The farmer’s son is spared because of his injury. The neighbors rejoice: “What tremendous luck!”
And again, the farmer replies: “Maybe, maybe not. We’ll see.”
This short story holds a deep truth: we rarely know what a moment truly means while we’re still in it.
Why Uncertainty Feels So Hard
We’re wired to crave certainty. Our brains are prediction machines, constantly trying to make sense of what’s happening and what’s coming next. When we face uncertainty—especially in moments of transition, disruption, or ambiguity—it often triggers fear, anxiety, catastrophizing, and attempts to control the uncontrollable.
But uncertainty is also a universal human condition. And at the heart of that uncertainty is a simple, undeniable truth: impermanence. Everything changes. No emotion, experience, or season of life stays the same.
This realization can feel unsettling—or it can become a source of perspective, gratitude, and peace.
What the Research Says
Psychology offers several tools for responding to uncertainty and impermanence in healthy, adaptive ways. One of the most powerful is cognitive reappraisal—the ability to reinterpret a situation in a way that reduces its emotional weight.
In one study titled “This Too Shall Pass,” researchers found that when people were guided to take a broader, longer-term view of a personal stressor, they experienced less distress and greater emotional regulation (Bruehlman-Senecal & Ayduk, 2015). Simply zooming out—reminding ourselves that we won’t always feel this way—can bring immediate relief.
Another body of research supports the practice of temporal distancing, or imagining how we might view a current challenge a year from now. This is an accessible way to remind ourselves of impermanence—and to soften the emotional intensity of the present.
Even more surprising: reflecting on life’s impermanence can actually increase gratitude. In a study by Koo et al. (2008), participants who imagined how a good thing in their life might never have happened experienced more happiness than those who simply recalled the event. This is known as mental subtraction—and it works because it makes us more aware of the fragility and preciousness of what we already have.
From Uncertainty to Insight
So how do we apply all of this in everyday life? How do we move from intellectual understanding to felt experience?
That’s where the parable returns—not just as a story, but as a practice.
Maybe, Maybe Not: A Mental Exercise
Inspired by the ancient story of the farmer, this simple 3-step reflection helps us find calm in the unknown and perspective in the present.
We can do it in writing, silently in our minds, or even as a guided activity with others.
1. Name what’s uncertain
What feels unclear or unresolved in our lives right now?
It might be something we’re waiting on, a change we didn’t choose, or a decision we haven’t made yet.
2. Shift the story
Say quietly to ourselves or write down:
“Maybe, maybe not. We’ll see.”
Then ask:
- What could this lead to—eventually?
- Have we ever seen uncertainty become something meaningful?
We’re still in the middle of the story. We don’t have to name it as good or bad. We just notice it’s not finished yet.
3. Find our next step
What’s one small action—or one mindset—we can carry forward while the story unfolds?
- Maybe it’s choosing patience.
- Maybe it’s letting go of needing to control the outcome.
- Maybe it’s noticing what’s still good, even now.
The Gift of Impermanence
The goal isn’t to eliminate uncertainty—it’s to relate to it differently.
When we accept that everything changes, we begin to appreciate what’s here now, even if it’s imperfect. We stop rushing to label or fix. We stop assuming we already know how the story ends. And we open ourselves up to surprise, perspective, and growth.
A great life still has bad days.
Strength and peace come from knowing they won’t last.
This doesn’t mean we ignore our challenges. It means we move through them with more grace. And when the good moments come? We don’t take them for granted.
Because they, too, are impermanent.
Maybe, maybe not. We’ll see.
It’s more than a shrug—it’s a wise and grounded way to keep going.
And when uncertainty shows up again—as it always does—we can return to the simple exercise above. A few quiet moments may be all we need to shift our perspective, reconnect with gratitude, and keep moving forward with grace.
In Bold Gratitude,
Lainie