Photo by Tom Pumford on Unsplash
Photo by Tom Pumford on Unsplash

This is the story of a guy who has been told all his life that ‘Men don’t Cry’. I am sure almost every guy has been told that a thousand times in their life time or may be even more. Here it goes..

When I came into this world, it was too difficult for me to understand what people are saying. I guess I was very small to learn what is going on. One thing I felt was that whenever I would be smiling, others would look at me and smile as well. If I would be crying, I could see unhappy faces which was sometimes followed by loud voices. I guess that was their way to communicate to a small child.

Soon, I learned talking. For start, I could utter few words and it would make everyone happy. Slowly, I started to speak well. I could tell what I wanted to the individual. There were times when my parents would enjoy talking to me but at times they would ask me to keep quiet. I felt weird because when i could not speak well, they were the ones to encourage me to talk properly.

I thought may be I am still small to understand the logic of this. One thing was still there, whenever I would have tears in my eyes, the other person would say ‘Hey, You are going to be a Man. Men don’t cry !’ I still could not get it why was I told that again and again.

As I reached my teenage, it seemed there was burst of explosions of emotions inside me. I could not control my feelings. If I was happy, I would want to celebrate. If I was sad, i would want to cry but again and again I was reminded the same thing. Soon, I felt if I was unhappy, I should be alone. No one will come and give their judgement to me.

I finished school, entered my college. The world was so different here. Guys would label them as Cool Dudes which were meant to be the most strongest ones. They showed or pretended which I think pretended would be a better word that they have a very good control on their emotions. I still struggled with my unhappy emotions as everyone would join to celebrate my happiness but when it came to sadness, I felt too conscious to share it with anyone because I would not want to hear the same line again.

I got a job and I felt that now I will be more mature in handling my emotions. But, trust me it was equally difficult. When you are a student, it is normal that if you are getting a thrashing, you will feel bad, but in the job people could scream, say a lot of words but still expect you to be normal. A constant fight would go inside my mind to balance the stressful situation.

I got married and had a lovely wife and 2 kids. Still, I tussled with the distress. I was in a more difficult situation now. I thought if my wife is in a stressful situation, she can cry easily and shed her burden but, if I will cry, I would be judged by the society as a weak man. I had to show myself strong in front of my family. I swore to myself that I would not cry in front of them.

The kids were getting older. If they were not happy, I would feel pain in my heart but I never showed it on my face. I just tried to make happy with whatever I could. If I would see my wife in pain, I would advise her to stay strong. The kids got settled and we got older too.

The time flew and my wife left me alone as God chose her to come first to him. I was alone, had no one else. All my life I feared to cry in front of my family, friends, relatives just to avoid listening ‘Men don’t cry’.

I still fail to understand that why men can’t cry? Why a crying man is considered to be a weak person? Why it is considered normal for a woman to cry? Aren’t women more stronger at times? Can’t a woman handle more stressful situation than a man?

Every one of us is a different individual. Every one of us has a different mindset and that includes different set of emotions. When you cry, you unleash that pain inside you. Crying does not make you weak, it makes you mentally more stronger. Sometimes, it is okay to cry ! That stands true for both man and woman. So, next time if you see a boy, a guy or a man cry, please listen to them and never say ‘Men don’t cry’.