If you find yourself feeling like you don’t want to do it, do a quick check in to figure out why. Is it unfamiliarity disguised as fear? In which case, DEFINITELY do it. The only way around the unfamiliar is to get familiar with it. That breeds confidence and self-trust.
The Fear of Failure is one of the most common restraints that holds people back from pursuing great ideas. Imagine if we could become totally free from the fear of failure. Imagine what we could then manifest and create. In this interview series, we are talking to leaders who can share stories and insights from their experience about “Becoming Free From the Fear of Failure.” As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Meridith Alexander.
Meridith Alexander is an Amazon “hot new release” author, powerhouse mompreneur, optimal performance coach and top female motivational speaker who has become known for her uncanny ability to help women learn how to unleash the most epic version of themselves regardless of their circumstances. Having coached hundreds of clients in just the past two years, Meridith’s turbo charged EPIC LIFE MAKEOVER™ challenges you to explore the boundaries of endless possibilities, positive expectations and deliberate creation.
With the near-death accident of her daughter and the challenges that were laid firmly at her feet, she learned that as we master our own inner game and discover the real beauty within our own story, we can then go on to unlock a destiny that previously might have seemed “impossible”.
Thank you so much for joining us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your ‘backstory’?
I’m Meridith Alexander, CEO of G.R.I.T. MINDSET ACADEMY. I have lived my entire adult life as an entrepreneur. All of my successful businesses have been “accidental businesses”. My first company Baby Doll Art began when I designed a playful pair of dinosaur, feather and crystal earrings as a prototype for a gift that I intended to make for my mother. I was living in New York City at the time working at a 5-star restaurant that was frequented by a lot of celebs. They began buying the earrings right off my ears and, as they say, “the rest is history.”
These days, I speak on corporate stages helping leaders and their teams consistently unleash the most epic version of themselves, regardless of the circumstances. And by “epic”, I mean teaching strategies that nurture our sense of personal empowerment, passion, inspiration and confidence.
As an optimal performance coach, I’m known for my ability to (as my clients say) “help them come even more alive by learning how to redefine their finish lines” — personally and professionally. I specialize in working with professionals and entrepreneurs who are realizing that the old approach of focusing primarily on income leaves them feeling like something is missing in their life.
Typically, my clients know that they are capable of doing so much more. They are ready to make some long overdue changes but have found that it’s hard to make progress on their own. They need direction.
I take them through the 6-month process that I call “the Epic Life Makeover”. It’s an immersive program that pulls from my decades of study in both inner game and outer game skills. Strategies ranging from neuro-linguistic programming, spiritual philosophies, energy training and mindset to communications, marketing, branding and more. The objective is to help them scale a career/ business that not only makes “great money” but that aligns with their purpose and passion without sacrificing their work/life harmony.
My mission is to help more people discover the magic in their own lives, to embrace all aspects of their unique life story and to go forward living the type of joyous, purpose-filled life that previously might have felt impossible. And of course, make a rewarding income that fits the lifestyle that you have been desiring in the process.
I live by the mantra that we may not always get to control how long we get to play on this amazing planet, but we do get to control how epically we live while we are playing here.
My work is incredibly rewarding and it’s definitely my passion. But it has been anything but a walk in the park. And I think that’s a huge reason why I am now able to make such an impact on my client’s lives and careers. Precisely thanks to the “boulders” along the way.
For those who think that there is a cut-off moment when it’s “too late” to dream big and make bold choices, I say think again. I built this business in my late 50’s, having been a single mom for the majority of my life and while being the 24/7 caregiver for my 29-year old daughter.
At the risk of sounding cliché, I will say that “I have seen it all.” I have lived in financial terror when my children were young with no financial assistance from the children’s father. I have lived in an abusive relationship. I have faced years of panic attacks that left me unable to drive on the highway. I have seen crisis and deception in a previous business. Then of course, in 2016, I faced the ultimate life-changing challenge when I suddenly became the 24/7 caregiver for my 22-year old daughter…
So, yes, through several decades, fear has been my companion, my teacher and sometimes the driving force on the road to my success. At times it felt like a bumpy — and somewhat harrowing– ride, but oh have the fruits of this adventure been sweet!
Today, I am now 62 years old and I can honestly say that life just continues to get more and more remarkable.
Can you share with us the most interesting story from your career? Can you tell us what lessons or ‘take aways’ you learned from that?
I will share with you a time that I almost quit. It was an experience that really shook me.
It was 2017 and I was now more than a year and a half into my journey as my daughter’s caregiver. My business at the time was a talent agency. The revenue was very seasonal so all of my income for the entire year had to be generated in the months of January through early May.
In 2016, this had been impossible because I spent February through mid-May in an ICU with my daughter. The booking season for 2017 wasn’t much better because my daughter still could barely be left alone. There was no way that I could dedicate 12–14 hours a day to my business during the buying season when I was still the 24/7 caregiver for my daughter.
I was struggling to keep my head above water financially because my income had taken such a catastrophic hit.
In the meantime, the posts that I made on our Schuy is the Limit page on Facebook continued to gain attention. These were not your typical “please pray for our family” posts. These were posts that reflected my years of study in the “inner game”. They were posts with calls to action that were more like, “if you want to support Schuyler and our family, go on out and be the best version of yourself. Live your dreams. Laugh. Dare. Celebrate this amazing planet that we live on…”
My writing now had thousands of followers. Fans began requesting that I publish those posts in a book (which ultimately became THE SKY IS THE LIMIT book that hit #1 Hot New Release in one of the motivational categories the night that it was released.)
Before long, clients began to approach me about coaching them in my inner game formula which had seemed to play such a pivotal role in Schuy’s miraculous survival.
And eventually, thanks to more and more media visibility, people began to ask me to speak.
This was all well and good except for one thing: I was absolutely TERRIFIED at the idea of speaking in public. Even the thought of getting up on a stage to speak absolutely paralyzed me with stage fright.
Nevertheless, I began to “dip my toe” in that water. I began to explore the idea… “what if”I could actually begin to positively impact other people’s lives by sharing our story? And what if it could become my business in the process?
I won’t kid you, when I mentioned the idea to some friends and family who were close to me, some of them not only hated the idea. They got mad at me for even considering it.
They gave me reason after reason why I would fail, why it was unrealistic, why I was too old and too encumbered by my circumstances, why I was being irresponsible…
Nevertheless, I found myself drawn to the idea. I was able to find a couple of sponsors who would help pay for a couple of high profile speaking programs. I forced myself to get on a few stages. I was eventually invited by a speaking bureau to be part of a showcase.
It felt like maybe this could be a big break for me. I scraped together the money, flew to Kansas City and hoped for the best.
I wish that I could say that I knocked it out of the park.
However, I was still early in my speaking career and although some of the clients loved me, one of the client feedback forms absolutely crushed me.
It said, “I REALLY did not like this talk. She was overly dramatic and awful.” She gave me a 1 on a scale of 1 to 5.
I was so humiliated and ashamed. I didn’t dare tell those in my family who had told me that I wouldn’t be able to do this. Maybe they were right?
Maybe I was indeed being foolish and vain to think that I could ever do this…?
For months, I avoided trying to get back on stage. Until one day, really randomly, my daughter Schuyler and I were going through security at the Boston Airport. A young woman not far behind us in line meekly approached us and told me that she had been following our journey.
She shared how close she had been to giving up on her dreams until she had read my posts. She went on and on explaining how my words had actually inspired her to build a career that others believed would be impossible. As I sat on that plane back to Tampa, I realized that I had to find my courage.
I could not let fear stop me.
I was not living my life so that my purpose and passion could be kept small by the haters. If even one person could be inspired by my message then I had to keep going.
I had to risk “failure” and at least learn how to “fail forward”.
Today, I now love speaking on stages. I speak at events many times a year and I get nothing but rave reviews. Every now and then I think back to that harsh critic and actually feel a tinge of gratitude for the perseverance and grit that she brought out in me.
So my big takeaway is this: If you are reading this today and have been stopping yourself due to a multitude of “reasons”, I would encourage you to stop asking “if” or “how” and to begin asking “who”. “Who” can help me? Who can mentor me? Who can I model? Who do I need to show up as in order to make this happen?
I have learned that often our greatest opportunities in life come disguised as boulders. And these boulders don’t come to destroy us. They come to destroy the things that we have been allowing to hold us back.
And the critics and haters?
They are out there but at no time are we obligated to allow them to define us. Every hero has a hater so allow the dust to settle and just get on with your story.
You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
I actually named my academy for the qualities that I think are the four most essential in an epic leader: G.R.I.T.
The “G” stands for owning the greatness of your story. And I mean every aspect of your story. Not just the victories.
A great example of that is my client Jason. He came to me with a huge fear of failure. He had grown up feeling like his parents were always finding something wrong with him. Nothing was ever good enough and they would lecture him over and over again about all the ways that he was totally “messing things up.”
As he moved into his professional life, this evolved into a pattern that looked like this:
- Jason would knock it out of the park professionally. His reputation and income soared.
- Jason would then “apparently out of nowhere” make choices that would catastrophically impact both his reputation and therefore his income
- Jason would be forced to file for bankruptcy and he would be faced with the “reality” that he had (once again) messed up
- Jason was reduced to sleeping on the couch in a friend’s apartment when only months earlier he had been seen by all as a rising star
By the time that he came to me, he had begun to wonder if he truly was destined to always “mess things up.” He was not in a place where he could commit 100% to anything because, quite frankly, he was concerned that any level of success would be temporary and that for some reason that he couldn’t identify, he was just destined to fail.
It took persistent focus and introspection and I challenged Jason to ask himself some pretty tough questions , and it got him thinking. Specifically, thinking in a new way. I will always remember the day when Jason and I launched into our sixth Zoom session. I could tell immediately that something about Jason was different.
He definitely was NOT a “messed up” version of himself. He was a man who realized that his history of being unfairly judged actually gave him an edge… a relatability…
As he let himself “off the hook”, he started to embrace the understanding that those moments of his life that he had been ashamed of (times that I call those “anti-mentor moments’) could actually contribute to his momentum. He began to share his stories with potential clients and his sales actually increased.
The second quality that I believe epic leaders have is the ability to look at life through the lens of RESILIENCE. Having spent years learning how to “emerge from the ashes” when I got knocked down became an invaluable skill when I faced the real test in 2016.
And having spent decades studying people who emerge from a crisis as a bigger, bolder version of themself left absolutely no doubt that if we want to show up as that epic version of ourselves, we absolutely must nurture our ability to become more and more resilient.
The third quality, the “I” in my use of G.R.I.T., represents the marriage of intuition with intention. Leaders have the capability to not only listen to their inner voice, but to focus that intuition in the direction that they intend. They are crystal clear on what that next objective is. This makes it much easier for their intuition to give them an accurate read on what would be the best inspired action to take next.
For example, I have an exercise that I take my Life Makeover Immersion clients through called the “De-stuckifier Formula”. It’s a series of 4 questions that go much deeper than a typical “pros and cons” list.
Lynn was a professional who came to me stuck. She wanted to keep moving up in her career but she wasn’t sure whether to stay with her current organization or apply elsewhere. This fogginess was eating into her confidence and making her miserable.
We took her through the De-Stuckifier Formula and it was obvious that the best next step for her would be to apply elsewhere. Well, she did. We spent her next two sessions turning her into an interview ninja and — boom — she landed her dream job.
Today, not only does she LOVE her work but every aspect of her life feels better. She now understands that clarity gives her power so when she follows our strategies to get clear, her intuition can then more accurately guide her toward epic action!
And finally, I think that epic leaders understand that Transformation is as easy as making a different choice. When we are deliberate and learn to be the sovereign of our own mind, we start showing up differently. More confidently. And that charisma is inspiring!
Ok, thank you for all that. Now let’s shift to the main focus of this interview. We would like to explore and flesh out the concept of becoming free from failure. Let’s zoom in a bit. From your experience, why exactly are people so afraid of failure? Why is failure so frightening to us?
I work with a lot of clients who are silently suffering from the fear of failure. The vast majority of them don’t realize that this is the root cause of other things that they think they are struggling with.
For example, my client Jason that I mentioned earlier didn’t realize that the real problem with his inability to get motivated was his fear of failure. And his fear that he might make the wrong choice and end up “trapped”.
Another client Sandra had gone after something that she had really wanted earlier in her life. It didn’t work out the way that she had wanted so it was a very, VERY painful experience. Definitely not a feeling that she was eager to experience again.
Until we started working together and helped her realize how this fear was stopping her, she stayed within the boundaries of what felt familiar and “normal”. She never aimed high. She settled for the old “just fine” “ordinary day” version of life and tried to ignore her feeling that she was leading a double life. To the world, things were “fine”. When she stood in front of the mirror at the end of the day, she felt like she was only half alive. She felt like the years were zooming by and that she was someone who is incapable of creating a life that she would love.
Once we were able to confront that and transform those fears, her life began to change quickly and today she is on her way to living a lifestyle that she had convinced herself was impossible.
So why do we fear failure?
In my experience there are 5 primary reasons:
- If things don’t work out, we don’t want to feel the shame of discovering that the naysayers were “right”.
- We’re afraid that if we aim for success and we “fail” then we’ll have nothing else to look forward to.
- We mistakenly believe that there is only 1 path to success so therefore if we fail on our first attempt, we assume that we will always fail. That leaves us with no choice but to define ourselves as a “failure” — which is incredibly painful.
- We’re afraid of looking stupid, being judged harshly and other variations of being rejected/ booted out of the tribe. We aim only for things that we feel we can “100% control”.
- We have begun to associate failing at an action or not achieving an objective with failing as a human being. That feels like the ultimate pain and it can even lead to the feeling that there is no longer a reason for living.
What are the downsides of being afraid of failure? How can it limit people?
Fear of failure can have numerous consequences in our lives including:
- Inability to take decisive action and make objective, confident decisions
- Erosion of our ability to trust ourselves which eats away at our self-esteem
- “Analysis Paralysis” and constant “fight or flight mode”
- Tendency to blame and compare and to find excuses for not taking action
- Extended cycles of negative emotion that include anxiety, depression and frustration
These negative consequences can mean that we get more and more dissatisfied and resentful of where we are and yet we feel powerless to change that.
Many people begin to feel like victims of circumstance or a world that is not fair. They become more risk averse and more afraid of making the wrong choice. Eventually, many convince themselves that they have “tried everything” to no avail so they begin a new phase where they try to convince themselves that they don’t really care.
They try to disconnect themselves from any previous big goals or aspirations and often become cynical, disgruntled versions of themselves.
In contrast, can you help articulate a few ways how becoming free from the fear of failure can help improve our lives?
Becoming free from the fear of failure literally has the impact of making many people feel like they have come fully alive again.
When you can learn how to free yourself from the voice that heckles you with promises of failure, you open the doors of limitless potential.
- You become more innovative, creative, more able to see opportunities even in moments of challenge
- You become open to growth. Adapting to change comes more easily.
- You become more resilient and quick to recognize potential both in yourself and in your circumstances.
- You become a more creative problem solver.
- Your confidence and self-esteem grows which tends to increase your leadership abilities and magnetism.
- Your tenacity can often lead to discoveries that transform the current generations “impossibilities” into the next generation’s “new normal”.
- You become like the Thomas Edison’s of the world where you view the “failures” as the clues that will ultimately point you toward groundbreaking levels of success.
We would love to hear your story about your experience dealing with failure. Would you be able to share a story about that with us?
One of the most trying times of my life literally began with a falling boulder.
It was February 19, 2016 and I was finally rebuilding my business after a disastrous collaboration with a producer left me in more than $80,000 debt. I was a single mom entrepreneur and my youngest child had graduated from Yale and was on a fellowship in South America.
What had begun as an ordinary day quickly transformed into an absolute nightmare. I received a call that Schuyler had been on a whitewater rafting expedition and been struck by a falling boulder. She had sustained four injuries that were typically fatal. It would take a miracle to survive.
It’s probably no surprise to share that the next few hours were a whirlwind and I experienced the perfect storm of negative emotions. However, as I flew on that plane to Colombia, I realized that by far the worst emotion was that I felt powerless to help my daughter. If there was any shot that Schuy would see this miracle, I needed to find a way to get my power back.
Fortunately, I had spent decades studying how some people faced formidable obstacles and emerged as bigger boulder versions of themselves. The common denominator was always their ability to play the inner game to win.
I realized that if I was going to be the sort of mom that my daughter needed right now, I could not become the second victim to this boulder. I had to get my power back. I could not arrive in Colombia as a mother whose child might have been tragically killed by a boulder. I had to arrive there as the mother of a child who in just 22 years had done more to impact the world than most people do in a life time.
I may not be able to control the outer game but I sure could play a mean inner game so I declared “game on”.
So I showed up at the hospital not as a grieving desperate mom but as a mother who was ready to lead her global family toward her vision. And if there was any truth to the extraordinary power of our inner game, I was about to find out.
In order to keep friends and family (and eventually thousands of followers) focused on Schuyler at her best, I posted content that implored the reader to show up as their own personal best. These posts became so popular that eventually our followers requested that they be put into a book so “The Sky is the Limit” was born.
The miracles began almost immediately and we were able to move Schuy to Miami where we became known as the miracle family. On May 10, 2016, Schuy had officially survived the unsurvivable and I moved into my new role of being her 24/7 caregiver. She was alive but she could not be left alone.
She could not lift her arms. She had no sense of balance. Her TBI left her totally dependent on others. We knew that we still had a journey with no idea what lay ahead but we were committed to staying focused on a powerful inner game.
However, we had been hit by a second boulder. This one was a little less literal. My business was seasonal so by staying in the hospital those months with Schuyler I had missed my ability to earn income for the entire year. We were practically broke. And we had plenty of bills to pay.
We could stay with the man who was my boyfriend at the time but an extended period of time when I was sidetracked by being a caregiver was not at all what he had signed up for. The relationship began to deteriorate almost immediately.
My existing business seemed totally incompatible with my new responsibilities so it was a terrifying time. And it was a time when there seemed to be very few realistic options.
However, I began to get requests to speak. To share our story. And ultimately to coach. The only problem? I was absolutely terrified at the idea of public speaking. I hated being in front of a crowd.
When I mentioned the possibility to others, some of those who were closest to me immediately responded by telling me all of the reasons why I would not succeed. And in some cases, why it was irresponsible for me to even try.
Fortunately, I went back to my training in the inner game. Although I am definitely not saying that my mindset alone saved my daughter — because those medical team worked some magic on her — what I am saying is that when you commit to showing up as the most epic version of yourself, you tap into a different kind of magic. The kind that can transform the “impossible” into your realities.
How did you rebound and recover after that? What did you learn from this whole episode? What advice would you give to others based on that story?
As I asked myself some new questions and dug deeply, I realized that what I had applied to my approach with my daughter could also be applied to my new business — and to my fear of speaking.
I reduced it to 3 questions:
- What can I control?
- What can my mind believe?
- What might I be assuming that is not necessarily so?
I realized that what I had identified as fear was actually only unfamiliarity. And I could get beyond that. By taking action and getting great mentoring and training, I could gain experience and avoid mistakes.
It was a deliberate intentional process that required that I use every ounce of what I know about the inner game but thanks to executing a new approach and not listening to the outdated beliefs of those who only feel safe when they play small, I now have a thriving multi-6-figure business. I have coached hundreds of clients and spoken on stages as far away as Singapore.
Most importantly, Schuyler continues to stretch the boundaries of what’s possible. I am living my passion and my purpose, positively impacting lives AND having the time that I need to continue helping my daughter.
Fantastic. Here is the main question of our interview. In your opinion, what are 5 steps that everyone can take to become free from the fear of failure”? Please share a story or an example for each.
Step #1: Define FAILURE and take a look at the real role of “failure” in the huge successes of so many people. Look at case studies of the greatest inventions such as the light bulb, the airplane, cars or computers, finding the approaches that don’t work are essential as we quest for the way that will “light up” for us. Look at some of our modern celebrities ranging from J.K. Rowling who was a suicidal single mom in her 20’s to Morgan Freeman who didn’t land his first leading role until his late 50’s to Sylvester Stallone whose Rocky script was rejected almost a hundred times before he finally found a studio that would not only produce the film but allow him to star in it. You can imagine that the friends and family were probably not seeing the probability of success when the Wright Brothers were literally crashing and burning for the “umpteenth” time. Failure doesn’t mean that “it’s over”. It simply means that the game’s not over yet. Keep going. “Failure” is a “realistic” part of the process when striving for monumental success.
Step #2: Get clear. Understand what is the outcome that you truly want and then instead of immediately jumping to “how”, ask “who”. Who do you need to be in order to achieve that? What do you need to learn? What do you need to get more familiar with or more experienced in? Who can mentor you? Who can teach you or help you? Who can you model? What’s already working in your favor and where might you need some help? What might you be assuming that is scaring you that is not necessarily true?
When working with my clients, one of the most impactful moments is when they not only get clear on where they are but who they are. When they realize how much they actually already have going for them, it becomes simply a matter of gaining more experience and filling in the gaps with learning and great training. The information is out there. Find the right people to help you apply it correctly.
Step #3: Understand the physiology of fear and breathe. Studies show that the only difference between fear and exhilaration is that those who feel exhilarated are breathing versus holding their breath. The symptoms are almost identical but it’s the label that we put on these feelings that can determine what we make them mean and therefore how we react to them.
There is a story that compares Mick Jagger describing the feeling that he experiences before he goes on stage as he hears the roar of the crowd. It’s the same physiological feeling that Barbara Streisand described except for her, it created paralyzing stage fright whereas for Mick Jagger, he described it as exciting and “orgasmic”.
Step #4: Practice getting outside of your comfort zone. Get more experience with doing the unfamiliar. Even if it’s taking a new route to a regular destination, get reinforcement that you can trust yourself to create successes and you can trust yourself to figure your way out of circumstances that don’t go quite as you expect.
As you get familiar with bigger amounts of change in your life, try raising the bar a little higher and if it’s physically safe to do so, explore things that trigger your fear. See if there is a local rope course or ziplining feature. Enroll in a transformational retreat or adventure camp.
Build your self-trust and realize that when you overcome one thing that your mind told you that you couldn’t do, there are undoubtedly other places where your mind is erring on the side of caution.
For example, this past weekend I hosted my Live Your Destiny retreat for women. At the retreat, these women were challenged to participate in a breakthrough exercise that involved an arrow. Without exception, every single woman’s mind not only said that it was impossible but that it was dangerous to even try.
Ironically, two women who weren’t known for having “bold” personalities volunteered to go first. Both had worked with me individually for almost two years. Not only had they grown to trust me implicitly but I had also challenged them several times in the past to blast beyond their fears. Every single time, it had lead to something unexpected and remarkable.
Thanks to their familiarity with facing the fears and the unknown, they embraced the task fully, stepped into their power and accomplished “the impossible” easily. It was mind blowing moment that made it easier for the other women to get up there, face their fear and succeed with the challenge.
And every single woman agreed that having achieved something that their minds emphatically said they would never be able to do meant that now it was easier to examine their existing beliefs. What else might their mind be telling them that it’s unrealistic to do when, with good support/guidance and the right approach, they could easily achieve?
So practice deliberately straying from what’s routine and familiar. Your big destiny will thank you.
Step 5: COMMIT and REFUSE TO RENEGOTIATE. Once you decide to pursue a next step, commit to it. Resist the temptation to wake up every day and ask yourself if you “feel” like doing it. Make a commitment, figure out when you’re going to assess it (you may need guidance with that) and stay consistent.
If you find yourself feeling like you don’t want to do it, do a quick check in to figure out why. Is it unfamiliarity disguised as fear? In which case, DEFINITELY do it. The only way around the unfamiliar is to get familiar with it. That breeds confidence and self-trust.
If something legitimately gets in the way, find a way to stay congruent with the intent of your commitment. If your internet goes down and you have committed to going live every day to break through your fear, then perhaps commit to going live later or twice the next day.
If you have committed to going to the gym but a meeting runs late and the gym is closing, find something online that keeps you aligned with your commitment.
Remember that the “realistic” path to success is never a straight line. But give your strategy time to perform before you course correct. And if it’s not working, get some guidance and iterate. In the case of pursuing those big dreams, imperfect action will get you further than perfect contemplation.
The famous Greek philosopher Aristotle once said, “It is possible to fail in many ways…while to succeed is possible only in one way.” Based on your experience, have you found this quote to be true? What do you think Aristotle really meant?
I love the ancient wisdom and Aristotle in particular. What this means to me is this: our entire world is a duality. Without up, there could be no down. Without cold, there could be no understanding of hot. And I have found that success requires the beautiful combination of moments that are so wonderful that they take your breath away and moments that are so painful that they knock the wind out of you.
And yet, it’s these painful moments that inspire you to ask new questions and grow.
The world gives us clues and part of the deliciousness of the adventure is that every moment of victory does not show up as instant gratification from the moment that the desire is born.
It takes persistence and a good strategy for course correcting.
The “failures” help us gain clarity about who we are, what’s important to us and what will be the next step forward.. Rather than calling them failures, I call them our life boulders. And to me, it’s not in spite of these boulders that we succeed. It’s thanks to these boulders that we learn how high we can soar.
Yes, as Aristotle says, there are many ways that may not turn out the way that we wish — but those always serve as clues. It’s like the hot/cold game or Thomas Edison’s lightbulbs. The more times that you hear “cold”, the more exactly that you can pinpoint “hot”. And the more consistently that things will begin to “light up” for you.
For me, there is the moment of “target achieved” or those moments of learning and opportunity!
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the greatest amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I have actually already started working on a movement. It’s called the EPIC LIFE MAKEOVER…
For decades, even centuries, it seems like we operate largely believing that we are almost solely controlled by precedent and patterns… These old school “that’s just the way that I’m wired” beliefs have led many of us to some pretty dismal places..
Places where we often go through our day sinking in a quicksand of fears, disappointments, scars and scarcity…
We start feeling like lone wolves…Deserted, misunderstood and forgotten…
To the world, we appear “normal”… Everything is “just fine”…. “Go big” often shrinks to “good enough” and “playing it safe”/ “being realistic”.
We put on the happy faces, buy the happy meals and pose with smiling faces for the camera…
And yet there comes a time in our life when our inner voice demands to be heard… A time when we realize that the clock is ticking… Life is passing…
And we don’t feel at all like we thought that we would be feeling…
Well, this weekend, I had the honor of hosting a retreat for an EPIC group of women who were ready to say, “ENOUGH!” The old approach of chasing more money, chasing that epiphany clearly has been falling way short.
These women had decided that it was time to stop repeating the same disappointing approach and resolve to make some changes… To take a new kind of action…
The focus was simple… Community and a new approach to playing the inner game that could then be applied across the board to the “outer game” — our businesses, our finances, our relationships, our health and even our spirituality.
In other words, we began to reassess the way that we were going to choose to live.
I won’t divulge exactly the breakthroughs that we did, but let’s just say that by the end of two and a half days, even the body language of these ladies was amazing… In fact, during one final exercise, they looked like such more dynamic and empowered versions of themselves that it actually brought me to tears…
So why do I share this?
Because I believe that there never has been a time more critical in our lives, in our country and on our beautiful planet when it is more critical for us to learn how to create a loving, supportive community and to learn how to choose to live …
Beginning with learning how to master our own inner game… And then using that inner game mastery to literally rework how we approach our lives, each other and our planet.
The reign of our own worst enemy within has run its course… It’s time to become the sovereign of our own mind….
Our own soul mate… the champion… and joy-prior within…
At the Live Your Destiny Retreat, these ladies made dramatic changes in just two and a half days…
Imagine what together we could all achieve in a life time…?
We are blessed that some very prominent leaders read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them 🙂
There are many, MANY amazing people in this world who have done such inspiring things. And there are quite a few women such as Michelle Obama, Lisa Nichols and Sarah Blakely who have inspired me tremendously. If I have to reduce it to one name, I would select this one woman because it was her teaching that gave me the tipping point when things with my daughter Schuyler looked so grim. The teachings of Esther Hicks (Abraham Hicks) had been life changing for me from the moment when her Ask & It is Given Book fell at my feet in the bookstore when I found myself in an abusive relationship.
It was the Abraham wisdom that literally helped me drop my history of panic attacks about driving on the highway and fear of heights in a matter of moments. And then it was her teaching on focus that allowed me to show up so powerfully for my daughter when medical precedent seemed to indicate that there was no hope.
I have been in her hot seat 5 times at events over the years and each time was magical. I would love to actually have the opportunity to meet this amazing woman and give her one EPIC hug!!
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Readers can find me online on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/meridith.grit.alexander and LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/meridith-alexander-skylimit/. Women can also join our Facebook Community for Epic Women at https://www.facebook.com/groups/theepicyou . For coaching, you can find me at www.gritmindsetacademy.com or for speaking at www.meridithalexander.com . I do also have a Youtube Channel: https://bit.ly/GRITTube and cheer me on as i officially start diving onto (yes) TikTok @meridithalexandergrit
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent on this. We wish you only continued success.