Know what you want and why you want it. This is an essential step on any journey you take. You must know what you want. In other words, you must know what you want to accomplish. No change is created without a strong why. If you want to achieve a specific goal, be very clear on why you want it. The why will drive you on the more challenging days.
The Fear of Failure is one of the most common restraints that holds people back from pursuing great ideas. Imagine if we could become totally free from the fear of failure. Imagine what we could then manifest and create. In this interview series, we are talking to leaders who can share stories and insights from their experience about “Becoming Free From the Fear of Failure.” As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Michelle Fuller.
Michelle is a transformation coach and speaker for women. She understands the power of mindset and consistency. She is a champion for her clients and their success.
Thank you so much for joining us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your ‘backstory’?
Five years ago, I hit rock bottom emotionally. I hired a coach and immediately saw drastic results in my life. From there, I was able to create incredible love and start my own business. It’s my mission to share the principles I learned with other women so they can live the life they desire.
Can you share with us the most interesting story from your career? Can you tell us what lessons or ‘take aways’ you learned from that?
Women who work with me often end the toxic relationships they are in. This is entirely natural! As women learn more about who they are and what they want, their mindset often shifts. They no longer settle in life or love so the relationships they are currently in no longer fit their vision.
You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
My success is built on my ability to persevere, my willingness to fail, and my desire to help others. Despite starting a new business and starting from scratch, I did not give in to the fear of the unknown. Instead, I continued to hire coaches for guidance and learn everything I could to empower myself and my clients. Failing in business has been one of the most challenging obstacles. Like all other things, I had to lean in on the discomfort of failing. Failure was arduous in the beginning as my learning curve was steep; however, my desire to help other women has driven me to succeed. The mission is to impact as many women as I can so they can create the life and love they desire by changing their mindset.
What are the downsides of being afraid of failure? How can it limit people?
The fear of failure has many downsides. The most prevailing downside is using fear to excuse yourself from living the life you want. If you are afraid to fail, you will never do what you must to fulfill your dreams. Instead, you will feel stuck, hopeless, and probably resentful. It is incredibly challenging to work on yourself from those states.
In contrast, can you help articulate a few ways how becoming free from the free of failure can help improve our lives?
To overcome the fear of failure, you must know what you are afraid of. Most of your fears are rooted in your habitual thoughts. If you want to see what you are afraid of, observe your thoughts when you are presented with an opportunity to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable or stretches you. Those are the moments you can learn the most about what you believe. First, ask yourself what you are afraid of and why. Get very clear on where your beliefs began. Then, start challenging your thoughts and reframing them. Do one thing daily that scares you to build momentum.
We would love to hear your story about your experience dealing with failure. Would you be able to share a story about that with us?
Four years ago, I started dating again on the other side of two failed marriages and a string of dead-end relationships. Despite working on myself endlessly and working with a coach, I was terrified to start dating again because I was afraid I would fail again. I didn’t trust myself to execute the things I had learned and trust in the woman I was. Instead of allowing the fear of failure to paralyze me, I took one small step toward what I wanted each day. Ultimately, I ended up meeting my fiance and getting engaged shortly after. The first step is always the hardest! However, if you work on yourself, know what you want, and understand why you want it, the road will unfold in front of you. Be prepared to fail, but have faith in the outcome you desire.
How did you rebound and recover after that? What did you learn from this whole episode? What advice would you give to others based on that story?
My best advice to anyone starting something new is to keep going. It sounds so simplistic, but the reality is you will never make things happen if you give up. Giving up will prevent you from achieving your goals, and you will have to start over each time. Face your fears head-on and stop giving the thoughts you have more power than they deserve.
Fantastic. Here is the main question of our interview. In your opinion, what are 5 steps that everyone can take to become free from the fear of failure”? Please share a story or an example for each.
- Know what you want and why you want it. This is an essential step on any journey you take. You must know what you want. In other words, you must know what you want to accomplish. No change is created without a strong why. If you want to achieve a specific goal, be very clear on why you want it. The why will drive you on the more challenging days.
- Embrace the unknown. Life is rarely predictable. If you love to control outcomes, you will often be disappointed. Nothing in life is controllable outside of yourself. Lean into discomfort by doing something daily that requires you to be uncomfortable. As you build momentum, you can add other things. If you do something every day that makes you uncomfortable, you will be unstoppable in six months.
- Become a student. Learn from others, read books, take courses, and attend seminars or events that give you new perspectives and ways of thinking. As you continue to grow, you will meet others on a similar journey.
- Persevere. If you feel stuck, find a friend or hire a coach to hold you accountable. The easy thing is always to give up. Giving up is where dreams go to die. Stay on the path until you have achieved your desired outcome.
- Challenge your beliefs. Challenge every thought and belief you have. Get to know yourself and take a good look at the results you are producing. There is only one moment you can change anything, and that moment is now. If you want a different future, you must change how you show up in your life today.
The famous Greek philosopher Aristotle once said, “It is possible to fail in many ways…while to succeed is possible only in one way.” Based on your experience, have you found this quote to be true? What do you think Aristotle really meant?
Failure will always be your best teacher, and you will always fail more than you succeed. In other words, your failures are the prerequisite to your success. You will not achieve your desired success until you experience failure first.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the greatest amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I would love to teach women of all ages how to step boldly into their power so they can live the lives they desire. Women impact every part of life. Women who work on their mindset permit other women to do the same. That kind of movement heals generational trauma and gives everyone the chance to heal. The ripple effect has no end.
We are blessed that some very prominent leaders read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them 🙂
Jen Sincero is one of my heroes. Her books have changed my life and the lives of countless other women. Her story inspired me in the early stages of my transformation. She has had an enormous impact on the change I’ve experienced.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Please follow me on Instagram at: onebold_mf or Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/oneboldmf
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent on this. We wish you only continued success.