You deserve to heal, It took me years to really believe this message. I spent years self-sabotaging myself and putting myself into unhealthy situations that felt terrible and kept me locked in misery for months at a time. I procrastinated my own healing believing I would start tackling my mental health once I finished school or when I had more money. The truth was I didn’t believe the person I was in the present moment deserved to heal. In my mind, she wasn’t worthy of living her best life and the heaviness I felt every day was what I deserved for all the shitty choices I had made. This is flawed thinking and I hear it all the time from the women I connect with online. They never take any steps forward because they feel like they deserve to suffer. You weren’t meant for pain. You don’t have to do anything to deserve to heal, the time for you to drop your struggle and move the fuck on is right now. There is light waiting for you if you can forgive yourself enough to allow yourself to start stepping into it. I know this is easier said than done and I know how hard it can be. I just want you to know that you are good enough right now. You deserve to heal right now. Life can start getting better right now. You don’t have to make yourself wait. You don’t have to allow yourself to continue to suffer.
If you’re interested in hearing more about how I try to stay focused on the positive check out my podcast episode here. I know that someone telling you to be “more positive” can be really annoying if you’re managing depression and anxiety. The reason I’m so passionate about talking about it because it has made such a huge difference in my own life. Being able to focus on feeling gratitude for all of the things I do have instead of letting myself only focus on how hard and shitty things are has really changed my whole life. Before I committed to having a positive outlook my depression and anxiety would spiral out of control over the smallest things. A single bad day could set me back months and I would just go down a rabbit hole of negative thoughts until I was an anxious and depressed mess. Now I’m working on mindful living and choosing new beliefs for my life. Some of them include:
Everything is always working out for my highest good
Life just keeps getting better and better
Everything is happening in perfect divine timing
I deserve love and happiness
Choosing these new empowering and positive thoughts has helped me bury my old stories. I used to tell myself things like “I’m fucked up and will never heal”, “life will always be terrible and painful” and “no one really cares about me”. I’m sure you can imagine how difficult those thoughts made managing my mental health.
If you’re struggling with mental health my #1 tip is to put positivity in your ears. Find a podcast that inspires you, follow badass ladies on Instagram (follow me here) and listen to inspiring audiobooks. I consume hours of personal development content daily. Listening to audio makes it possible for me to listen to positive messages while I am doing the dishes, working on my website, driving my car or walking my dog. Try playing a Tony Robbins talk while you clean your house or find a really juicy podcast to listen to while you drive. Consuming positive content will help you be more mindful and give you new strategies for managing your depression and anxiety. The internet has made all of the best personal development teacher more accessible than ever. All of the best teachers are only a click away and available to you 24 hours a day.
Stay In The Moment
Another mindfulness trick I use is to stay in the current moment. This has been a difficult skill for me to learn as I am someone who used to be constantly worried and fearful of the future. I started to become aware of my thoughts and whenever I would start to drift out of the present moment into the future I would gently guide my thoughts back. The trick with this is to be patient with yourself and not get frustrated if you find it difficult at first. Like any new skill staying in the moment can take some time to learn if you’re not used to being intentional with your thoughts. I think this is a great skill that is worth developing and staying in the present moment has helped my anxiety immensely.
Anchoring yourself is a great trick if you are having a hard time staying in the present moment. If you find it difficult to bring your thoughts back to the present focus on one of your sensations to bring your focus back to the moment. Pick a smell, touch, taste or sound to focus all of your energy on. This will give your mind something to focus on and help keep it from wandering off and worrying about the past and the future. Focusing on your senses can help you learn to anchor your mind in the present moment.
Meditation has really been helping me control my anxiety lately. I’ve been dedicating about ten minutes a day to guided meditation (you can find my favorites here) and I’ve noticed a big difference. I like to think of meditation like going to the gym for your mind. It’s a great way to strengthen your mindfulness muscle and help it become stronger. I struggle with meditation so I have started with guided meditations which I find a lot easier than just trying to focus on my breathing. If you haven’t meditated before I suggest trying guided meditation out and see how it goes for you.
When I’m exercising I’m able to let go of all the worry I have about the past and the future. It helps me stay in the present moment by giving me something physically intense to focus on. I also notice that it is much easier for me to be more positive throughout the day when I get a good workout in. I have more mental energy and I’m able to consume more mind food and be more diligent about my thoughts when I workout. If you’re struggling with depression or anxiety I can’t recommend exercise enough. I know how hard it is to get started and it used to make me really upset when people would suggest I exercise to help manage my depression. I felt like they didn’t understand how much I was suffering and how hard everything was in my life. However, now that I’ve been able to start a regular exercise routine I can say that it really does work. Even though it can be really difficult to start it can still be an effective treatment for depression and anxiety.