We are never empty-handed if a good time gives us memories than bad times give us valuable lessons.
During one of my meditation retreats, one of my fellow mates asked our teacher, who happens to be a wise monk and his guru too – Did I choose you or you choose me? Same I would like to ask my problems whenever I find myself cringing after committing a mistake like investing in the wrong business or choosing a wrong person to date. Sometimes I would like to make myself immune to the mistakes so that I could save myself from the associate pain but the question is “Will that make life interesting?”
Well, interesting or not but mistakes do create scope for growth. The incident goes back to those hard days when I and my best friend were both trying to overcome our loss however I guess mine was nothing compared to her. Rachel(my best friend) had lost her mother and I just had to say goodbye to a lover of a long time.
The word ‘Best-friend’ always makes me uneasy. Does it have to do with the expectations that latched onto it or the inefficacies that I find looming around? I often have found people are best friends because they have chosen not to say the unsaid things, and choose to pass the difficult conversation.
Our relationship was thankfully deeper than this. I therefore always tried not to call her my best friend but my soul sister. In today’s time, I call her (Ibom) which is a big sister in my mother tongue. We shared our happiness, shame, deepest fears, and massive regrets and most of all we never tried to shun away the difficult conversation until that time when we both tried to snatch away each other Chances. The chances of happiness and chances of possibilities. Worst of all we acted as if it never happened and moved on.
We were sitting in a nice restaurant and Neil Young was blasting out from every corner of the place. I and Racheal were trying to put up with the lyrics while we waited for our food to be served.” This is a nice collection of songs” we both remarked together. Later, while we were slurping our soups a handsome man with a casual gait appeared in front of us and asked whether we were enjoying the service or not? Anyone could tell he was the owner of the place. When I was assuring him of the good food and the choice of songs, I realized my friend was already checking him out. A moment later, out of nowhere, I find myself prying him while my friend sits there looking at me with amusement. She tried hard to hide her resentment but it was all over her face. I choose not to recognize my friend’s uneasiness as I gave my number to the Man on being asked. I choose to outsee her discontent and uneasiness that I just caused her. What kind of a friend I was?
For the days to come the silence consumed our relationship. Though Rachel in her badass ways retorted back which only make the matter worse. Though we never spoke about it I could not deny the gravity of the forgiveness we carried for each other thereafter. We might have grown tired of hurting each other. Over time, we might have removed the stain, our love for each other might have come out stronger than ever but I also like to assume if the forgiveness had not happened silently but aloud in the presence of our emotions, we would have attained peace.
Hurting my friend with such sobriety was a Mistake that ultimately leads me to a Self-realization more so an epiphany. I found myself asking- Why do I have to chance upon a Man whom my own friend has an eye upon? Was that a spur of the moment thing? Even though if it was, I couldn’t agree more that my actions were the product of my belief. The belief that comes from the idea of Scarcity but not Abundance.
The mistake took me on a voyage of self-introspection. I took refuge in the teachings of spiritual authors like Elizabeth Gilbert and Dr. Wayne Dyer. I realized the Universe was built upon the foundation of “Love and Abundance“. It helped me to alter my beliefs. I choose to perform my life based on Abundance. Now I could see a new myself who loves her friend with all her heart, one who is not insecure about her happiness but the reason for her happiness.
Mistakes are often a boon in disguise. A way of the Universe to teach us how to grow as a Human Being.