I used to be the mom who did everything for my family. I cooked from scratch. I picked up after them. I kept our activities running smoothly. All of it.
But multiple kids and a thriving business later, and I was drowning. I had to scramble just to survive.
It forced me to flip a switch, and get my family to work as a team. But it also gave me a pretty nifty sixth sense.
Within minutes of talking with a mom I can instantly tell if she has the same thoughts holding her back.
For example, my neighbor recently revealed to me that she was worried about leaving her teenage kids for a few days because they didn’t know how to feed themselves.
I said, “It’s fine, just have them make mac & cheese. It’s survival”
To which she replied, “They don’t even know how to make that.”
Yikes. But also…I get it.
There are a lot of misconceptions of why this happens. And it doesn’t happen with just cooking. It’s easy for moms to get sucked into the vortex of work. But it’s time to change that.
Myth #1: A good mom always takes care of her kids
Let’s be real for a second. What moms did for their kids 30 years ago is NOT what moms do for their kids today.
Kids used to cook. And clean. And get jobs that helped their parents pay for things.
But…times change. (Mostly for the better)
And today moms put on extravagant birthday parties, make separate meals for their kids, and create elaborate activities for their kids to do. – And yes, I used to do these things.
But, while it is such a beautiful thing to take care of your child, we all have to draw a line in the sand of what that should look like for you.
Should you be spoon feeding your 12-year-old with a golden spoon? Probably not.
So, maybe that means it’s ok for kids to do things and be responsible for themselves too. (Try this daily routine schedule for kids) You’re helping them immensely in the long run.
Myth #2: Everything will fall apart if I don’t do it myself
Some of us hold onto our responsibilities so tight that it is surprisingly difficult to let go.
I mean yeah, your kids will not do it exactly right. (My daughter smashed two glasses in the dishwasher the other day. It’s part of learning).
Your spouse probably won’t do it how you do it either.
But spoiler alert: your family is made up of pretty awesome people. And it will not all fall apart. (If it does, changes need to be made anyways because you have WAY too much on your shoulders.)
Myth #3: I’m lazy if I’m not doing it all
Finally, if this trips you up, I want you to repeat this to yourself:
“My worth is not determined by how much I get done.”
Because it isn’t.
Trying to be the productive, do everything mom, just makes you miserable in the end.
Rest is not your enemy. And it’s not you being lazy.
It’s your ticket to a slower life that allows you to notice your child’s sweet lopsided grin instead of worrying about what you still need to do.
You don’t need to do it all to be the most amazing mom you can be. And letting go will help you thrive at work, with all your relationships, and in your health too.
So, give it a chance today!
P.P.S. Do you see yourself as more of a proud parent or a tired & frustrated mama? Leave a comment and let me know.