I have a millionaire mentor and one of his sayings is:

“If you hear someone wealthy saying that money doesn’t matter, then run away screaming!”

His point was that money does matter. You cannot eat air or pay the mortgage with positive thoughts.

But Aaron’s motto is also “From success to significance.” 
Money alone doesn’t matter very much — if you are wealthy, but miserable — with no close relationships and unhappy.

Can Poor Judge It Appropriately?

Why do you think many below-average folks who struggle to keep their nose above water don’t say that money doesn’t matter? Well, they are in the wrong position to judge the issue. They don’t have a full picture. They don’t have money. How can you judge if it matters or not, when you don’t have it?

When a skinny guy says that physical strength doesn’t matter; it’s theory.

When a strongman who looks like the Hulk says physical strength does matter; that’s practice.

So, Who Can Judge?

Only a person who “has been there and done that” can.

When I was studying at a university, we struggled financially. We had two small kids and my wife didn’t work (she was busy giving birth and taking care of our sons). I studied full-time and the unemployment rate was well over 20% where we lived.

We had a ridiculously small welfare allowance, ridiculously small student loan, and ridiculously small social stipend from the university as our main sources of “income”.

We were constantly bankrupt. I fully understand you when you say “I NEED money!”

After graduation, I started a career in IT. I never earned less than two average salaries since then. In the last four years my income climbed by 92%. That’s right, I earn almost twice as much as in 2012.

Even with such a limited success, I can confidently say that money doesn’t matter. Strangely enough, my wife doesn’t love me more because of the increased income. She resents the time I spend at work and on my side business (and not with the family).

My boys are now teenagers and they need me more than ever, but I have very little time for them. I can see how they got addicted to computer games, mobile phones, and how it negatively affects school grades and overall attitude (“I don’t care, let my play!”)

Money can’t cure those issues.

Money Doesn’t Matter… Very Much

First of all, you won’t take a dime with you when you’ll die. In the grand scheme of things money is irrelevant. 
Who you are is what matters most.

Secondly, as my example clearly shows, you can lose yourself and put your life in disorder by chasing money. Your family is what matters. Your relationships matter. Without them you will be “successful” (by external standards) and miserable. Moreover, you will make your closest one miserable as well. 
No money is worth it.

And it’s not only the I was so stupid; it happens all the time. It’s not by accident that Saint Paul said:

“The love of money is the root of all evils.” (1Tim 6: 10a)

I had another mentor, who became really successful in a timespan of a few years. He hustled like crazy to get out from under a stinking job and mountain of debt — into a 6-figure business.

And then he divorced. Like in case of my wife, his wife had another vision of family happiness other than just money.

I hadn’t money and now I have it. I’m in the good position to judge. Money doesn’t matter. People do.

Originally published at www.quora.com.

Originally published at medium.com