During our tender age, life was more comfortable, right? That’s how it seems to most of us if not all. So, what changed along the way?  As we grow older, we try to complicate our lives ourselves. After thoroughly draining ourselves and hitting rock bottom is when happiness wake-up call comes knocking.  

Everything happens for a specific purpose. Nothing happens by mere luck or chance. Break-ups, Illness, injury, love and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Try not being too hard on ourselves since it will interfere with our happiness in one way or the other. Without these ups and downs, life would be like a smooth, straight, flat road to nowhere. Life would be relaxed and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

I lost myself to parenting and caregiving

Being happy should not be like gambling. We often get that happiness wake-up call when receiving the last blow. So, spare two minutes and read on the story of my life.

At the age of 23 years is where it all began. A naïve young lady in her 2nd year on campus. Boom! She fell in love before she could blink pregnancy kicked in. You know our African parents are so strict that the thought of being pregnant scares the hell out of you. Therefore, I decided to move in with my now-husband. All went well throughout the pregnancy and delivered my bouncing baby boy. 

At this point, everything took a turn in a drastic manner. We all know parenting is not an easy road, especially with the first child. My emotions would scale up, and I would feel like I am about to explode. Post-partum depression started kicking in. It slowly started eating me up.

The day my son turned five weeks’ things took a different turn for the worst; his mom suffered a major stroke. As if that was not enough, diabetes kicked in, and hypertension came in handy. The most devastating thing in life is when your children abandon you at your point of need.

Mom was in hospital corridors for over two years. But along the way, something changed. That would change my world forever. God came through and healed, although not 100%, but the situation stabilized. Life was different for me; acquiring a new job title – the caregiver – but had no idea what that meant. I was her health caregiver, which said I made decisions for her health.

In the midst of all these, I lost myself.

Turning point

My happiness wake-up call was when my husband found me dozing off when feeding our son. I no longer took care of myself in terms of grooming. I was a total mess, wrecked, dull, and general fatigue. At this point, he made it his job to bring back that jovial, confident woman he first met.

Change always starts with you. I embarked on a journey to rediscovering myself. There is still no room for regret in life. Nonetheless, I wish my happiness wake-up call would have come much earlier. These would have saved me from unnecessary baggage. When you try finding joy in all the wrong places, it fails big time. 

 Finally, I found a few tips that helped me sail through to my victory.

Always surround yourself with people who love you: Living around toxic people drains you more. Hence there is the need to associate with people who care about your wellbeing.

Distract yourself by doing something you love: Passion is something great to discover. Finding that one thing that cheers you up and keeps you in high spirits is vital.

laugh as much as you can: “Laughter is the best medicine.” For a while, when you smile and laugh, you tend to forget all that you are going through.

Write down your feelings to calm the mind: Writing is magical and therapeautic.in those moments when you feel like you’re losing your mind: write and write. These help to calm yourself down and reducing the pressure within you.

The bottom line is to make every day count!!! I appreciate every moment. Learn from those moments, everything that you possibly can. Interact with people that you have never interacted with before, and listen. The happiness wake-up call, lets you fall in love, break free, and set your insights high. 

Stay strong and hold your head up because you have every right. Encourage yourself and believe in yourself, for if you don’t believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you. You can make your life anything you wish. Create your own life,  go out, and live it with absolutely no regrets.