These pictures have a story. They were taken on Saturday, October 2, 2010.
I went through 5 cycles of IVF to become a mom. IVF was my only choice to reach motherhood. In here I was 39 weeks pregnant from our baby daughter Isabelle. On Tuesday, October 10, 2010 I went to my last check up and unfortunately our baby had die in my womb. She was a complete little baby girl, stillbirth, I was absolutely devastated, and although we had our daughter Eliyah at that time, (she was 5 years old, and my first IVF child, and my stepdaughter was 9), I just wanted and wished I could drawn in my tears, I blamed myself for few years and this loss brought me and my husband to almost a divorce, because each of us were grieving in our own way and we got very disconnected.
I thought that my world was ending, I felt empty, sad and with no will to continue living. This pain had and has no name, until I realized I wasn’t the only one feeling this pain and there were other women out there that had this same happened to them. I understood I must do something and try my best to learned the lesson that this painful event was trying to teach me.
When our Maya was born 5 years and 8 months ago from our fifth IVF, I knew very deep inside that she was Isabelle’s soul coming back to us in a little different body. Maya’s pregnancy and IVF treatment were the last push that inspired me to do what I do today with all my heart and soul, and I decide to share with you today my story, with this images, images I was running away and hide for many years, until I knew and felt that our angel baby was with us, that little soul gave me the courage to look at them, and find joy on making it a beautiful memory.
If you are a mom or parents of an angel baby or babies, remember, you are an inspiration for millions in this world. The road to motherhood is not easy, no matter how you decide to pursue it, trying to conceive naturally or through IVF. I became a Fertility and Life coach because of all the struggle and pain I went through, so I know how many couples and women walking the same path feel. Always remember no matter what the outcome of your journey will be, be kind to yourself, don’t feel embarrassed or disappointed , there is always hope and someone out there willing to help you walk this path along with you.
