As parents, we often feel pressure to do it all—keep our kids entertained, manage our homes, maintain our work lives, and somehow still find time for ourselves. For Myriam Sandler, founder of the wildly popular parenting platform Mothercould and author of the new book Playful by Design, that pressure is all too familiar. But what if one of the greatest gifts we could give our kids (and ourselves) was permission to play independently?
In our conversation, Myriam shared what inspired her to write this book, and one thing most people think about her that couldn’t be further from the truth.
“It’s one of the most common misconceptions,” she said. “Because I have a kids’ activity account, people think I play with my kids all day. When in reality, I don’t play with my kids. I literally only play with them while we make a play recipe and then they’re off to the races on their own.”
For the full interview, listen to our Evolving with Gratitude podcast episode. Also available on your favorite podcast platform.
Independent Play & Parental Well-Being
Independent play isn’t about ignoring our kids. It’s about giving them the confidence and space to be creative and resilient—while also giving ourselves room to breathe. Myriam is passionate about helping parents let go of the guilt and embrace independent play as a form of self-care.
She emphasized that Playful by Design is rooted in what works in the real world—messy schedules, imperfect homes, and all. Rather than pressuring parents to entertain their kids all day, the book encourages designing play spaces that invite independence, freeing up breathing room for both children and caregivers.
Science & Psychology of Play
Play isn’t just fun—it’s foundational. Before we can talk about the benefits of independent play, we need to recognize that play itself is how children build skills, make sense of the world, and express themselves. It’s not a bonus—it’s essential. Myriam explained how open-ended, sensory-rich play builds essential life skills.
“I always say sensory play is the way that my kids learned how to eat with a spoon because they learned how to scoop and pour and transfer all of their rice, all of their Play Doh, all of their sand through play,” she said. “And that’s huge.”
She also talked about the importance of boredom. “We have to get comfortable with the B word,” she said. “It’s okay for kids to be bored. It’s really important for them to be bored. Because when you and I were kids, we would go outside and we would play. And we would go to the neighbor’s house. Or we would literally build forts out of sticks and dirt and anything that we had around us. And that all came out of moments of boredom.”
Reducing Parental Burnout & Decision Fatigue
One of the book’s most refreshing messages is that play spaces don’t have to be perfect. In fact, striving for perfection might be getting in the way of what truly works. Real life is messy—and so is play. Myriam reminds us that practicality, not polish, makes a space functional and freeing.
“One of the things that we did in Playful by Design is that we put in illustrations as well as photographs so that it would be more inspirational not just aspirational because you can see yourself in a drawing,” Myriam said.
Practical Strategies for Encouraging Play
It doesn’t take a massive overhaul to make independent play part of your rhythm.
Myriam recommends starting with small shifts, like choosing fewer, more open-ended toys that spark creativity and involving kids in organizing their own spaces. These choices, she explains, help build ownership and autonomy without adding stress or more stuff.
She also emphasized the value of offering alternatives to screen time that kids are genuinely excited about. Her own daughter, for example, has a play makeup desk that taps into her creative interests.
Mindful Play & Parent-Child Connection
Myriam doesn’t shy away from the realities of parenting—especially for those working from home.
“It’s hard working full time from home and having young children,” she said. “You have to create a structure where it’s ideally unstructured for you to be able to do what you need to do, get on your Zoom calls, finish your papers, do everything, and your child has the confidence in themselves that they can create a moment of boredom and really come out with something incredible.”
That said, connection matters. “We don’t need to sit there all day and play with them to be hero mom. Five, 10, 15 minutes of direct engaged time with a child is so valuable. Read them a book. That’s it. Because you’re both engaged and you both understand each other at the same level,” Myriam said.
Thriving Through Play
At the heart of Playful by Design is a message every parent needs to hear: Independent play isn’t about doing less for our kids. It’s about doing what helps them thrive—and what helps us thrive, too.
Because sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do as caregivers is step back, breathe, and let our kids take the lead.
Connect with and learn from Myriam Sandler
Website: Mothercould.com
Instagram | Facebook | TikTok | YouTube | Pinterest
by Myriam Sandler