“Grief doesn’t disappear—it becomes part of who you are. The key is to find purpose in it, to create something meaningful from the pain, and to honor the love you lost by continuing to live fully.”
– CarolAnn Tutera
Grief is a universal experience, yet it’s one of the most difficult emotions to navigate. For many, the pain of losing a loved one can feel overwhelming, especially during moments meant for celebration, like the holidays. CarolAnn Tutera, founder of SottoPelle, knows this struggle firsthand. After the sudden loss of her husband, she faced the immense challenge of not only managing her grief but also continuing the legacy they had built together. Through perseverance, self-care, and a passion for helping others, CarolAnn transformed her grief into fuel, dedicating her life to improving the well-being of others through hormone therapy and education on healing.
In this interview, CarolAnn opens up about her personal journey with loss, the tools that helped her cope, and the critical role hormone therapy can play in mental and emotional health. Her story is one of resilience, hope, and the power of finding meaning in life’s most difficult moments. Whether you’re currently navigating grief or looking for ways to support someone who is, CarolAnn’s wisdom offers valuable insight into the path toward healing and empowerment.
Thank you so much for joining us, CarolAnn! Our readers would love to hear more about your journey. Can you share a bit about how SottoPelle came to be?
Thank you, Stacey. My late husband and I founded SottoPelle in the late 1990s. It’s a company dedicated to pellet hormone therapy, a unique method that uses tiny bioidentical hormone pellets placed under the skin to deliver consistent and effective hormone levels over time. He discovered this approach in 1992 while working on a birthing center project at Eisenhower Hospital, and he immediately saw the immense potential it had to help people suffering from hormone imbalances. After he passed away nine years ago, it was incredibly hard for me, but I felt it was my mission to continue his work. We weren’t just offering a medical service; we were improving lives. Every day I remind myself of that, and it keeps me going.
Losing your husband so suddenly must have been a tremendous shock. How did you manage to move forward during such a difficult time?
It was incredibly difficult, and I won’t sugarcoat it. One moment, everything feels normal, and the next, your whole world turns upside down. I remember walking out of the hospital in disbelief, thinking, “This can’t be happening.” I was in a fog for months. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, not even my closest friends. Eventually, I realized that I couldn’t go on like that—I needed help. Therapy played a huge role in helping me process my emotions, and I attended a grief class led by David Kessler. That class helped me understand that grief is a journey, not something you can simply overcome. Surrounding myself with supportive people, like my sister, also made a huge difference. She was there for me every step of the way.
The holiday season can bring back painful memories for those who are grieving. What advice would you give to someone who finds this time of year especially hard?
Holidays can be tough because they’re filled with traditions and memories that remind us of who we’ve lost. I remember my first holiday season without my husband—it was heartbreaking. I learned that it’s okay to create your own version of the holidays or skip certain gatherings if they feel overwhelming. One year, I stayed home instead of attending a large family dinner, and it was exactly what I needed. I also found comfort in honoring my husband during this time. I created a small Dia de los Muertos altar with his photo, some of his favorite things, and flowers. It helped me feel connected to him and made the holidays a little more bearable. My advice is to listen to what your heart needs—there’s no right or wrong way to grieve during the holidays.
It sounds like finding purpose and meaning through your work has played a major role in your healing. How did that unfold for you?
Yes, absolutely. After my husband passed, I struggled with the question of how to move forward. I didn’t want my life to be defined by loss, but I also wanted to honor his memory. Continuing SottoPelle became my purpose. It gave me a reason to keep going and a way to turn my grief into something positive. Over time, I started to see that the impact of our work was far-reaching—we were genuinely helping people feel better and live healthier lives. Knowing that our efforts were making a difference gave me strength and helped me heal.
Grief can be so overwhelming, both mentally and physically. Do you think focusing on physical health can help with emotional recovery?
Absolutely. Grief doesn’t just affect your emotions—it takes a toll on your body too. Fatigue, brain fog, and even depression are common during periods of intense grief, and many of these symptoms can be linked to hormone imbalances. That’s where hormone therapy comes in. By balancing hormones like estradiol and testosterone, we can help improve mood, energy levels, and overall mental clarity. When your physical health is in check, it becomes easier to navigate the emotional aspects of grief. I’ve seen firsthand how our therapy has helped people regain their vitality and feel more in control of their lives.
For someone who’s curious about hormone therapy but doesn’t know where to start, what would you recommend?
The best place to start is by getting your hormone levels checked. Even if you don’t think you’re experiencing obvious symptoms, having a baseline can give you valuable insight into your health. At SottoPelle, we have a network of trained providers who understand how to administer bioidentical hormone therapy properly. You can visit SottoPelleTherapy.com to find a provider near you. This isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution—it’s personalized to meet the specific needs of each individual.
During your grieving process, you’ve had some powerful moments that made you feel connected to your late husband. Can you share more about those experiences?
Yes, spirituality became a big part of my healing. After my husband passed, there were moments when I felt his presence so vividly—whether it was through dreams or small signs, like smelling his cologne when no one else was around. Those experiences brought me comfort and made me feel like he was still with me in some way. I believe that our loved ones remain connected to us even after they’re gone. Tuning into those moments, whether you call it spirituality or intuition, can be incredibly healing. It reminds you that love never really dies—it just takes on a different form.
Sometimes, spending time alone can be healing in itself. Did you find solitude helpful during your journey?
Yes, very much so. Solitude gave me the space I needed to reflect and process everything that had happened. When you’re constantly surrounded by people, it’s easy to distract yourself from your emotions. But being alone forces you to sit with those feelings and really work through them. During those quiet moments, I gained clarity about what I wanted to do with my life. It helped me realize that continuing the work my husband and I started wasn’t just a professional obligation—it was something deeply personal that I wanted to carry forward.
What important lessons about grief would you like to share with others who may be going through something similar?
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that grief never truly goes away—it just changes over time. You don’t ‘move on’ from it; you learn to live with it. And that’s okay. It’s important to allow yourself to feel all the emotions that come with grief—whether it’s sadness, anger, or even moments of joy. Suppressing those emotions only makes things harder in the long run. Also, don’t be afraid to seek help. Whether it’s a therapist, a support group, or a close friend, having someone to talk to can make a world of difference.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Readers can visit SottoPelleTherapy.com to learn more about hormone therapy and find a provider near them. For those who are navigating grief, I highly recommend checking out Grief.com, which is an excellent resource. If anyone wants to reach out directly, they can email me at [email protected].
Thank you so much, CarolAnn. Your story is truly inspiring, and I’m sure it will resonate with so many people. It’s been an honor speaking with you.
Thank you, Stacey. I’m grateful for the opportunity to share my journey, and I hope it helps anyone who may be struggling with grief or looking for ways to improve their well-being.
CarolAnn Tutera is the CEO and guiding force behind SottoPelle®, a renowned leader in bioidentical hormone replacement therapy. With a passion for improving the lives of both men and women, CarolAnn has dedicated her career to advancing innovative, personalized approaches to hormone health. Her commitment to wellness stems from her personal experience of building SottoPelle® alongside her late husband and carrying forward his legacy after his passing. Today, she continues to educate, inspire, and empower individuals to reclaim their vitality and well-being through balanced hormone therapy.