“Give yourself permission to feel everything—the excitement, the fear, the sadness, and the joy—because true resilience comes from embracing the full spectrum of emotions during life’s biggest transitions.”
– Dr. Susan Landers
Navigating life’s transitions can be one of the most challenging aspects of adulthood, especially for women balancing careers, motherhood, and personal well-being. Whether it’s relocating, changing jobs, or expanding a family, these shifts can feel overwhelming and isolating. Dr. Susan Landers, a neonatologist with over 30 years of experience, knows this struggle firsthand. After facing a period of immense change—moving cities, starting a new job, selling and buying a home, and having her third child all at once—she found herself struggling in ways she never anticipated. Now, as an advocate for working mothers, she shares her insights on overcoming burnout, managing transitions, and embracing the emotional complexity of change.
In this interview, Dr. Landers offers practical advice on how women can navigate major life shifts with resilience and self-compassion. She emphasizes the importance of self-care, seeking support, and letting go of perfection. Her story is a testament to the power of acknowledging struggles, prioritizing well-being, and building a strong support system. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by the demands of work, family, and personal change, this conversation will remind you that you’re not alone—and that with the right mindset and strategies, you can emerge stronger on the other side.
Thank you so much for joining us, Dr. Landers! Our readers would love to get to know you a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your backstory?
Thank you for having me! I spent over 30 years as a neonatologist, caring for critically ill newborns in the NICU. Throughout my career, I balanced the demands of medicine with raising three children. That journey wasn’t always easy—I faced burnout, exhaustion, and the struggles that so many working moms know too well. At one point, I went through a major life transition—relocating, starting a new job, selling and buying a home, and having my third baby, all at the same time. It was overwhelming, and I struggled. Over time, I realized that many women experience similar challenges but don’t always have the support they need. That’s why I now write and speak about physician burnout, work-life balance, and the challenges of being a working mother, hoping to help others navigate these transitions with more ease.
That sounds like an incredibly overwhelming period. How did you cope with so many changes at once?
Honestly? Not well at first. I missed my friends, my support system, and my colleagues. I felt completely adrift. My four-year-old developed fears about robbers and burglars, my seven-year-old struggled to transition from Montessori to traditional school, and once I started my new job in the fall, I absolutely hated it. I wasn’t sleeping well, I wasn’t eating much, and I was constantly irritable. I remember yelling at my poor seven-year-old son and my husband. I felt completely lost, and it took time to realize that I needed to address the emotional toll these changes were taking on me.
It sounds like you were carrying the emotional weight of everything. What role did your husband play during this transition?
He loved his new job and was thriving in his career. He had a great secretary, a couple of nurses to help him, and a schedule that worked well for him. He tried to be supportive at home, but he didn’t fully understand what I was going through. He saw our move as a positive change—bigger house, more money, a nice nanny—but to me, it felt like I had lost my entire support system. I don’t think he realized how much I was struggling until I finally opened up about it.
Did you have any support outside of your husband?
Thankfully, I met a woman at work who had also just moved to town with her husband and new baby. She understood exactly what I was going through, and we became fast friends. That friendship was a lifeline for me. But overall, I failed miserably at allowing myself to fully process my emotions. When you go through major life transitions, it’s important to expect a mix of emotions—excitement, sadness, fear, regret. I didn’t give myself permission to feel them all, and I suffered because of it.
Many women try to power through transitions without taking time to process their emotions. Looking back, what do you wish you had done differently?
I wish I had sought professional help sooner instead of trying to handle everything on my own. Therapy helped me tremendously, but I spent too much time struggling in silence before admitting I needed support. At the time, I thought I should be able to figure things out on my own—I had navigated difficult situations before, so I assumed this would be no different. But the truth is, some challenges are too heavy to carry alone. I also wish I had been more open with my husband about how I was feeling. I expected him to just understand my struggles without clearly communicating them, which led to frustration on both sides. He saw our transition as positive—new job, new home, new opportunities—but I was drowning emotionally. If I had expressed my feelings sooner, we could have worked together to find solutions rather than me feeling like I was alone in my struggle. Looking back, I realize that bottling up emotions only makes them harder to deal with, and seeking help—whether from a therapist, a trusted friend, or a mentor—can make all the difference in getting through a tough transition.
What advice would you give to women who are currently going through a major transition, whether it’s a new job, a move, or becoming a mother?
Give yourself permission to feel everything—the excitement, the stress, the fear, the sadness, and the joy. So often, we focus only on the practical side of transitions—coordinating a move, preparing for a new job, adjusting to motherhood—without allowing ourselves the space to process the emotional weight of it all. But ignoring your emotions doesn’t make them disappear; it only delays the healing process. I also encourage women to communicate with the people around them, especially their partner, family, or support system. No one can read your mind, and expressing how you feel—whether it’s overwhelmed, anxious, or uncertain—opens the door for support and reassurance. And don’t be afraid to ask for help. There is no badge of honor for doing everything alone. Prioritize self-care, even in small ways, whether it’s taking a 15-minute walk, journaling, or simply sitting quietly to reflect. Lastly, find a support system, whether it’s a trusted friend, a therapist, or an online community of women going through similar experiences. You don’t have to go through these transitions alone, and having someone to talk to can make all the difference in how you navigate change.
Did you find any particular activities that helped you manage stress during this period?
Exercise was my biggest stress reliever. Running, biking, and even just taking long walks helped clear my mind and gave me a sense of control when everything else felt chaotic. Physical activity has always been my way of resetting, and during this difficult period, it became a lifeline. Another unexpected source of calm for me was breastfeeding my baby. It was the one thing in my life that felt right and natural at a time when everything else felt unsteady. It forced me to slow down, be present, and just be in the moment with my child.
What about working mothers who feel completely overwhelmed? What’s the first step they should take if they’re feeling burned out?
The first and most important step is acknowledging that you are burned out. Too many women try to push through exhaustion because they feel like they have to, whether it’s for their career, their family, or societal expectations. But burnout doesn’t just go away on its own—it only worsens over time. Recognizing that your exhaustion is valid and that something needs to change is the first step toward relief.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
You can find me at susanlandersmd.com, where I share blog posts and resources for parents. I also have a newsletter on Substack called Moms Matter, which offers both free and paid subscriptions. I write about working mothers’ issues, challenges, and ways to find balance, and I encourage any mother struggling with work-life balance or burnout to join the conversation. You can also find me on social media, where I regularly share insights and support for women navigating the challenges of career and motherhood.
Thank you so much, Dr. Landers, for sharing your story and your wisdom. It’s been an absolute pleasure speaking with you today.
Thank you! I appreciate the opportunity to talk about these important topics, and I hope my experiences can help other women who are going through similar challenges. If even one woman feels a little more supported and empowered after reading this, then this conversation was worth having.
