Oftentimes I find it easiest to express myself through poetry. Many of my recent poems have touch on themes of self exploration and meditation, as I explore these things for myself. Here’s one of them.

The state I’ve come to call neutral is a state of being, in the simplest sense. Neutral is similar to what many people call “flow”, living without expectations while maintaining goals. This is kind of a chronicle of the search for that ever elusive state.

neutral is living the questions
letting it happen
not making it
neutral is knowing your goals
and studying hard
neutral is smelling the roses
and talking sports at work
neutral is winning best actress
and worst
in the same year
sitting down at the piano,
neutral is John Lennon's imagination
a conversation with an old friend
one late night after a long shift
neutral is not posting
taking her call
or not
neutral is quitting cigarettes
and relapsing
and chewing toothpicks
a conversation with yourself
neutral is admitting that you've never seen The Shining
and watching it for the first time
neutral is feeling hate
and choosing love
neutral is honest
basketball at the Y
sleeping in your car
learning Spanish
forgetting Mandarin
neutral is naked
in day
in night
being young
growing old
neutral is anything
but neutral


  • Edward Hoke is an actor and writer, based in Los Angeles. Last summer, he completed his BA in Theater and Classics at Northwestern University after three years of study. He is an avid Red Sox fan.