This topic is very close to my heart as I have 3 wonderful children but each one so different from each other although they carry the same DNA. Each child is special , unique , gifted in their own way .Never compare or expect the same from each child.
Its quite normal for a parent to say “Hey why cant you be like your brother or sister?”But that is not possible .As i said No 2 children are exactly the same , there will be some who may have some similarities but if as a parent ,you know your own child well enough, you will know somewhere down the road they are not same.
Patience is the ultimate quality to master, especially when it comes to managing children. My 3 children are so different from each other. I cannot deal with A like I deal with B or C . My second son was a hyperactive child from baby .He could never literally sit still .He was always on the run.I am so sure a lot of you out there feel the same thing in your own life’s and in your own kids. My second son required a different style to understanding , managing his needs , channeling his interest , just loving him was what was required. I had to learn by trial and error how to understand my children . Having children is the easiest part bringing them up is the hardest.
That is why I want to share my experiences so others can use this experience to guide them .I am not saying my way is the only way but ultimately its up to you as a mother or father to actually gain the insight into your own child , to get close , to become your child’s friend .Its a long journey of pain, arguments , anger , searching , and then reaching a point of understanding and acceptance.I belief it all falls into ACCEPTANCE , accepting your child as how each one is and not expecting each to be like another .
I will share an example : my 2nd son Joshua was as I mentioned extremely active , in school he never used to like to study.I did send him for classes after school and made sure at least his basic high school certificate is good.However deep in my heart I never gave up and always knew he will outshine in his time. I never pushed him to have very high grades or to outshine anyone.He may take longer then my eldest or youngest child but he will outshine in his own time. One parent who knew me came and tried to advice me saying “Oh you should send your child to a technical school as he does not have any interest in studies ” I was so taken back that I told this person that my child will make it and he will do what he is interested in doing , I have not given up on my child and i do not intend to start now .
Never let anyone put your child down. Your child depends on you to have the trust ,hope and belief in him or her . If you as the parent cannot belief in your own child how can you expect the environment and people around to have the same belief.Always have hope and guide the different child differently. The child is not different in studying capabilities its just that some children just have no interest in sitting and studying from books.
You will be surprised at the outcome from this ……I will say from my own personal experience my son grew out of his attitude of having no interest in studying, he became confident , knew what he wanted to do , calmed down a lot. This made me realize that being LOVING, UNDERSTANDING ,PATIENT AND HAVING HOPE IN your child UNCONDITIONALLY even when you think its heading no where and you do not see any changes as quick as you expect but EVENTUALLY in the long run what makes them who they are ,bringing out the best in each different child in a different way in each one of them is your Love and patience & hope in them
Never let anyone put your child down or tell you something that says your kid cannot do something . Your belief ,hope and LOVE in your child is what will keep your child soaring high and reaching for the stars… EVERY CHILD CAN DO ANYTHING ITS JUST THE ROUTE TAKEN MAY DIFFER BUT THE GOAL IS THE SAME .
Our children are special , treat each one as a precious GEM , they are just diamonds in the rough.