There is a lot to learn when we start on a journey of self-discovery and self-awareness.  How did I get here?  What do I really want, love and care about?  How far from ‘my truth’ am I actually living? What will it mean to say ‘yes’ to myself and ‘no’ to the other people, places and things which have been pulling on my energy for so long?

And not least of all, who will I be if I’m not x, y or z that I’ve always been to myself – to ‘these people’ who know me so well? (or do they?)  Our whole identity feels like it could be at stake. 

But, whilst it’s scary for most people to even begin to look at the answers to those questions.  What is the cost of not doing so?  It can sometimes take a crisis for us to literally slow down, take stock and wake up to the reality we have been living.  That’s why breakdowns are also often referred to as breakthroughs.  It’s because that too is a truth. When not being viewed pathologically, of course.  

In my experience, so many people resist taking a look at their lives and how they are living, because they fear their truth will be too difficult to face. 

Or have. Or achieve from where they are now.  They can’t possibly see how they can get what their heart wants.  They fear too, the losses which might ensue or the people they will disappoint.  But it’s not our job to see and know the whole road ahead – the ‘how’ we’ll journey.  Our job is to follow our hearts, the Inner Guide, God, Inspiration – whatever you identify as guidance. That part of you which just knows what the next best thing is – just for today, this moment, or right now.  And the journey always twists, turns and changes anyway, whether we’re following our inspiration or rigidly trying to control our life according to world rules, other people’s rules, or our own self-imposed framework for success. 

It’s our inner-trust that we seem to have lost over many years of conditioning – we’re constantly being coerced into relying on governments, celebrities, technology and external ‘marketing’ – to show us how to live.  Whilst it can sometimes help to have outside input or influence, ultimately, our inner-selves know what’s best for us.  We all know what feels good and right and true for ourselves.  We’ve just lost the confidence to connect with it and act on it.

This same client shared how being brutally honest with himself was a high priority because he didn’t want to look back on his life with regrets. I could hear in his voice and sense how deeply important this was to him – and I get that!  It’s why I do this work – for myself and others. I can see the value it brings not only to clients but to my own life, as I meet more and more people who are ditching the fake and embracing the truth. Their truth. Then going and living it. 

Arguably, of course, we can only be as authentic as our current awareness allows.

But, just like watching a scary movie with our hands over our faces, some people know they are living a lie but they’re too afraid to remove their hands and open their eyes.  Instead, choosing darkness for fear of what they may see in the light.  I can honestly say that – as with scary movies – things are rarely as frightening as our thoughts and minds tell us. It’s our fear that keeps us stuck.

What if by you sharing and living your truth, you actually inspire others to do the same?  Yes, you may lose some people, places or things in your life, but what you gain is always more nourishing and sustainable – both for you, your loved ones and the (sometimes, new) people around you, because these things come from a genuinely authentic place inside, rather than a manufactured image of how life ‘should’ be for you.

Truth has an energy about it too, which is felt.  Just like inauthenticity has.  We all know it and recognise it. 

People often ‘feel’ your energy before you even speak.  And some people will avoid you because of your inauthentic stance – or your authenticity!  Your message of authenticity might be too scary for some.  But don’t take it personally, it might just be that you represent a little too much truth for them at this time, which can feel dangerous to be around – especially if your presence shines a light on their own suppressed hopes and dreams.

If you’re afraid of facing or living your truth right now, be kind to yourself.  We are all afraid and struggling with things every day.  Drop the ‘shoulds’ and ‘oughts’ and instead perhaps make a list of all the people, places and things you’d love to have in your life if it were possible to be living more authentically. 

These things might be greater self-awareness or honesty with yourself or a loved one, more free time to spend with special people, the motivation to develop a creative passion you long to follow.  See what pops up for you as you give yourself space.

What steps – if any – could (or would) you like to take today towards any of these things? 

A small insight may be just enough to start permeating its way through your psyche in preparation for the next realisation.  Trust it. Trust yourself and what comes up for you. You may later find yourself doing or saying that thing you’d been avoiding for years.

Many people find journaling helps.  Write down your hopes and dreams for a better life – without pausing for judgement.  If you do notice yourself judging though, write that down too and engage with the Judger. 

What does he or she have to say about you wanting a more authentic life? 

Who does that voice remind you of?  Start-up a dialogue with the Judger – respond authentically – and listen to what unfolds!

Lastly, write down your fears about having – or not having that life manifest. How do you feel?  

Then keep on writing until it feels time to stop.  Re-read what you’ve written and look for the inspiration or guidance in the text.  When we allow ourselves to write without stopping, our higher-self or unconscious part can often reveal some truths we weren’t previously aware of. You may be surprised at what you see!

Above all, remember to enjoy the insights that come – however they come – and remember that Your Authentic Life Matters!


  • Sarah Thayer

    Transformational Coach

    Sarah is a Transformational Coach and developing Writer who lives in the World Heritage City of Bath, UK. She helps individuals and organisations to slow down, transform past patterns so that they can live more authentically in life, in business, and in all their relationships.  Contact Sarah for a free, initial consultation at [email protected]