What is control?
As per Oxford Dictionary, the word control is a noun that means to either have the power to make decisions about something or someone or the act of restraining and putting strict guidelines out on one’s own actions. Every human craves the need to be in control – in control of their life, their job, their relationships, everything. But more often than not, we find ourselves losing this battle against control. We find ourselves overwhelmed by the need to control and long to let go of some.
But how can we do that?
How can we willingly let go of the control and be in peace with it?
Here, we will discuss some strategies that might help people struggling with the need to be in control all the time to let go of it, once in a while.
1. Accept you are not right all the time: As it is said, ‘Acceptance is man’s biggest fear’. You have to accept that you are not a know-it-all. That certain situation or person is not under your control and that you might not be the right person to make judgments. It will turn out to be extricating for you and beneficial for others as well. By letting go of control doesn’t mean leaving the situation hanging. On the contrary, it means to accept the fact that you might not be the right person to be in control of that situation.
2. Trust others: Trust is earned. A lot of people for various explainable or inexplicable reasons have trust issues. It might be difficult for a person to handle all the responsibilities alone all the time. You have to let go of some, understand you can’t always be top of everything. I’m not saying to let go of our responsibilities abruptly. No. Take small steps.
For instance, while working as a part of a team, the newest member at first is given low risky mundane tasks. Once, they do that efficiently, then they are trusted with a high-risk job first under supervision later on alone. Likewise, take small steps to trust another person, give them chances test them, and then judge.
3. Don’t have high expectations: When you give someone a task or responsibility for the very first time, you can’t expect them to be pro at it. They might take a bit longer time, might require a lot of guidance, and may not end up doing your way. Having high expectations is not only going to leave you disappointed but also the person with whom expectations are hoped for, defeated, and crushed. Instead, except for the person to complete the tasks effectively, to give their maximum potential.
4. Be ready to correct mistakes: Everyone makes mistakes. That is human nature. You can’t expect anyone to succeed without a few failures. But the ones to learn from their mistakes and to ensure those never happen again in the future, are the ones who succeed. Be ready for your members to make mistakes, be ready to be there for them when they are feeling down, and also be ready for when they learn and excel from their mistakes.
5. Surrender to the circumstances: Understand that sometimes all you can do is now down in front of the situation. It is for the best. Sometimes it is not worth it to fight for control. All you can do is give your best and hope for the best. Like for example, imagine a scenario where you are writing an international level exam. You see a question that is either out of the syllabus or from a topic you didn’t study. What can you do? You can raise your concern and demand for the question to be changed but is highly unlikely isn’t. All you can do in such a scenario is to suck it up, answer that question to your best of your ability, and hope for the best.
The control is not always necessarily bad. It is good to have control over certain situations of your life like studies, job, finances, family, relationships, and so on. But there are certain situations when you need to let go of the control. Accept that you can’t always be right, put your trust in someone else, except them to give their maximum potential, know they will make mistakes, and just surrender to the situation. Try to, it can be liberating as well as relaxing, for knowing taking all the burdens upon your shoulders can be quite tiresome. Share and let others take care of you once in a while.