As I reflected on this past year, I became thankful of something I learned a couple years ago after my Mom passed away. I had a hard time allowing myself to grieve because my Mom died at 83 and I was 49 at the time. I felt guilty grieving because a dear friend from high school lost her Mom right after high school graduation. I was lucky I had my Mom until I was almost 50. I learned in a grief class I attended about comparing and minimizing. I had done it my entire life.

I hope learning about comparing and minimizing made me a better leader this past year. I was able to work from home during COVID-19. My entire team worked from home. We had quite a bit of guilt about working from home while we knew all the clinical faculty and staff were putting their lives on the line caring for our patients. I didn’t compare what our clinical staff was going through to my team’s losses. Each person’s loss is valid and deserves to be acknowledged. I can recognize the sacrifice that everyone made in the hospital and recognize the sadness of someone’s daughter not getting a prom. I didn’t say I am sorry about prom but look at what our clinical staff is doing and the sacrifices they are making. I didn’t compare the feelings of isolation from working from home to anything else. I acknowledged the feelings. 

I am thankful that I know about the traps of comparing and minimizing. I really needed it to be the best leader I could be for my team.