It is said that the first rule to succeed in life is to surround yourself with positive minded people.

‘Surround yourself with people who make you happy, people who make you laugh, who help you when you are in need. People who genuinely care. They are the ones worth keeping in your life. Everyone else is just passing through’ Karl Marx

While it could be right for like minded professional and intellectual circle, friendships and colleagues with same time limitations and interests, it on the contrary is too difficult when having to put up a fight with your own family.

For example, from cultural and religious point of view, it is considered extremely rude to confront elders of the family.

Similarly, a wife has to show love, respect and unconditional understanding to the husband or in-laws, no matter how rude, impolite, absurd and insulting they may sound.

Probably, from very start, we do not set our boundaries right. The formula of love begets love and respect begets respect is a two way traffic.

As a rule, giving positive energy, being there for others, a genuine care and support system could be effective to get the positive energy traffic going.

In doing so, it’s important to not forget one’s self in pleasing others. Being brave, being your true self and standing up for your own self goes a long way.

Children who are vulnerable with less strength, emotional and mental power are an easy victim to negative energies. Usually these children who grow up in an environment with persistent unhappiness over things makes a child develop critical thinking.

As an adult, he/she will involuntarily, make others feel insufficient and subservient.

According to renowned actor Amir Khan, after making a movie on education of young children; there is an inclination by the parents to make the child excel academically, no matter what. Often this competitiveness, of a win-win situation make him/her a selfish person….who has no empathy for others around.

There is a certain level of energy that is required for every productive emotional output. Constant criticism, lack of communication, understanding and empathy disturbs this mechanism. The role of a wife behind successful husband and support of a man behind a happy woman proves much more is needed in life than commitment.

Love is a life support system, that is nothing without trust. Love is democracy, it is not a dictatorship. Here people concerned sit together, feel courage to give their opinion, decide what is important for them and come on mutually agreed conclusion. A good person is a good leader, and their team never suffocates from time to time. Sacrifices and compromises have their turns.

As a parent it is important to bring our children in an environment of positive feedback loop, in an environment where the emotional temperature is just right for physical and mental development.

A child should learn how to work hard, give the best effort when opportunity knocks, to learn to keep a hobby, a sport and passion alive yet also to be more helpful towards others. To make sure they don’t step on someone’s dreams in life and that the people around them are happy, involved and included in decision making.

Probably, with cultural barriers of respect for others, leaving an environment with negative energy as soon as one can, may relieve stressful energy and save backlash or karma.

Spending time amidst nature, with fresh air and sunshine, a brisk walk or jog is often enough to unwind mental stress.

Counting blessings by refusing to compare with others is a smart move to banish all negative after effects.

Despite of everything some people will remain a narcissist, a parasite and suck all the energies, it’s important to avoid frequent confrontation and loss of intellectual resources.

Prioritise to stay with good people who inspire, motivate, empower, advice and cheer up for you.

Happiness is in finding those people who fill our life with confidence and joy.. to have a balance of healthy and diverse arguments for personal growth….it is to leave behind the bags of resentment…be brave enough to sit and talk to the concerned person and resolve our issues.

Happiness is a destination that requires positive energy. To be grateful is the secret to be focused. Surround yourself with people who believe in you, who like and appreciate and cherish you. But for keeping them you will also have to become a beacon of light, a ray of hope and a strong support system.

Originally published at


  • Uzma


    Writing is my medium to spread the colours of hope. We all go through times of high and low. What’s important is our response, the struggle, the survival and the positivity. Trying to pass on through my writing, that beacon of light, that magnet of gratitude and key of hope that we all desperately need from time to time.