Whether you’re looking for a better relationship with a partner, a child, a family member, a boss or co-worker, a stranger, a friend or enemy, an animal or a pet… there is no mistaking that being present is KEY.
A key opens a lock or gains access. In relationships, if you want to gain access to one’s heart, one’s soul, one’s trust, one’s favor, one’s thought process … being present will certainly provide greater opportunity. I don’t know about you, but I have found that everyone I know is looking to be heard, to be respected, to be cared about, to be valued. When I am with someone I see the immediate response when I am with them versus when I am in my head! When my mind is wandering or thinking up a response or judging or editing what they are saying… the connection gets weaker. When I reign in my thinking I become more interested and engaged. As a result, they become more relaxed and open. It’s a win-win situation.
I remember listening to my dad one day, when he was talking on and on and my siblings wondering how I could listen to that story over and over. They marveled at how I did not correct him or stop him from rambling on. I was so present that the story did not matter. What mattered was that he needed to have someone to listen. The beautiful feeling we shared was what was important.
I have seen new grandparents anxiously fidget and try to entertain the child with excessive activity and items. Oh how I wish they could see that there is no need but to be present and enjoy as the child explores and they get to witness the joy and wonder of the child’s discovery! You don’t have to be entertaining! You just have to be present!
How many times have you seen for yourself how the thinking that goes on in your head has impacted your relationships?
What about first dates when your head is full of anxious thoughts? Can’t be very present, can you?
What about meetings with bosses or co-workers? Are your pre-conceived ideas or judgements allowing you to be present?
What about family or friends who call or drop by? Are you available or caught up in social media?
For better relationships, give yourself a Gift! Get out of your head and into your life!