I had peered over a girlfriends shoulder in order to get a better view of the photo we had just taken. I rolled my eyes to the back of my head in response to the image that was looking back at me,”I am so fat!” I declared. My friend whirled around, giving me a very stern, stare down and said: You are beautiful just the way you are & you need to be a lot more kind to yourself.
Negative self talk is more prevalent in today’s society and with the help of social media, more and more young adults are indirectly displaying this pessimistic rationale. Whether that be the way in which we view our level of attraction or how we choose to scale our success, there are practical ways in which you can quiet your negative self talk.
Get Rid Of The Social Media Stigma’s
Social media has a way of rearing its ugly head on the least likely of us. A simple glimpse here and there into a strangers seemingly perfect life might seem harmless but overtime, our brains sync with the unrealistic expectations that the cyber world lends us. Comparison quickly and easily seeps into the mind and disguises itself in subtle thoughts such as: ‘I’m a failure’, ‘I’m not where I’m supposed to be’, or ‘I’ll never have that’. The truth is, you can have that, you are not a failure, you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be and doing exactly what you’re supposed to be doing. That is of course, you aren’t feeding your distractions and are actively chasing your dreams… in real life.
Tip: When, not if… you begin to compare yourself to others as a measurement of where you should be – don’t. What’s for someone else isn’t for you. Your life is for you, remind yourself of that. You may not have control over the timing of the doors that will open for you, but you can control the words that filter through your mind.
Rid Yourself Of Body Shaming
Perhaps you experience negative self talk when it comes to your body image. As working class millennials, our days are long, time stretched thin and weekends packed with lazy Saturday’s or bottomless mimosa’s. Squeezing in ‘me time’ can be quite the task for today’s young business men and woman, causing our health to sometimes take a backseat. You know you could stand to lose a few extra pounds but instead of doing the necessary work, you’ve managed to be like myself, and tear yourself down.
Tip: Instead of looking in the mirror and trying to discover a false sense of worthlessness through self-shaming, remind yourself of who you are. You are more than your exterior and it doesn’t deserve the right to define who you are. For every negative, there comes a positive. Find something about yourself that you love, and make it work for you. Coming to terms with accepting ourselves fully, for who we are takes some time and isn’t for the faint of heart. Fall in love with the journey of boosting your own self-esteem, regardless of where you are… or aren’t.
Change Who You Spend Your Time With
One of the easiest ways to get rid of the noise is to change your circle. The true key to any success is found in numbers and the same stands to be true when you submerge yourself around people who bleed positivity. No person is perfect, but together, we can add value to one another’s lives. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve managed to talk myself out of an opportunity that would take me to the next level because I believed that I wasn’t good enough.
Tip: Not only should you listen to those who are dedicated to breathing life into you, believe them. Chew on their words, consider and digest them. Sometimes it really isn’t enough to be our own biggest cheerleaders. Affirmation is a necessity and highly encouraged for continuous results.
Of all of the negative things that you recite to yourself day in and day out – would you consider ever saying them to a stranger? Didn’t think so. Then you shouldn’t be saying them to yourself. Like everything else in life, it takes 10,000 hours of practice to become a professional at something. You’re a professional at talking down to yourself, now it’s time to become professional at building yourself up.