Trust the Process.
Choosing to focus on shorter term satisfaction will not derail you from your long-term vision. Rather, it will likely get you there faster. If you focus on putting one foot in front of the other in a way that feels deeply satisfying, the most aligned path will unfold in front of you, perhaps in ways you would never have imagined or that you would have missed if you were stressed out, exhausted, and deep in the hustle of trying to get to “success” at any cost. Trust the process and see what unfolds. You may be surprise by how quickly your vision becomes your reality.
Have you ever noticed how often we equate success with more? Whether that’s more products, more profits, more activities or more accomplishments, we buy into the belief that we have to do more to have more to be more. And that will sum up to success. And then along comes The Great Resignation. Where employees are signaling that the “more” that’s being offered — even more pay, more perks, and more PTO — isn’t summing up to success for them. We visited with leaders who are redefining what success means now. Their answers might surprise you.
As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Rachel Anzalone.
Rachel Anzalone is a business growth strategist who helps entrepreneurs take their companies beyond the seven-figure mark. Her unique, collaborative approach involves partnering with clients to help them not only improve their marketing and organizational structure but also their work-life balance, incorporating her skills as a holistic wellness expert in Qoya, naturopathy, Reiki and more. With Rachel’s guidance, her clients have been able to make millions of dollars through product launches, double their revenue while working less hours and find deep satisfaction in their work in the world.
Thank you for making time to visit with us about the topic of our time. Our readers would like to get to know you a bit better. Can you please tell us about one or two life experiences that most shaped who you are today?
I’ve always had a rebellious nature. As a child and a teenager, I couldn’t help but ask, “Why?” in just about every scenario. I was inclined to seek out the meaning in things and to never take anything at face value. I drove just about every adult in my world crazy with my questioning!
As I moved on to college I fell into the trap of wondering, “How are you going to make money and support yourself with this?” and my thinking became about practicality. What makes sense? What’s a good decision here? How will you earn a living and support yourself? I thought I had to “grow up”, so I stopped asking “why” and started doing what I “should” do.
I spent most of my twenties and early thirties in that mindset. Hustling to prove myself, to get a promotion, to take the responsible job. But it never felt right. No matter how well things were going, there was always a deep dissatisfaction. And it began to feel like the game was rigged. I was a hard worker, but the harder I worked the more work I was given to do, with little or no reward for my efforts. I was working to make someone else more money, to make their vision a reality, not mine. Days and years were going by and I just wasn’t happy.
I started to explore other options and eventually found myself in a room full of women like me, who were deeply curious, creative and multi-passionate, who wanted to have impact with their work and who wanted to build a beautiful life in the process. I quit the corporate world and never looked back. That was 13 years ago.
Following my passions, I fully immersed myself in learning holistic approaches to health, wellness and embodied living. The world of online business was the perfect place to marry that learning with my corporate experiences in operations and marketing and support others in creating an aligned life and business, rooted in deep satisfaction.
We all have myths and misconceptions about success. What are some myths or misconceptions that you used to believe?
The biggest myth that I used to believe, and that I see so many entrepreneurs stuck in, is to do whatever it takes now — blood, sweat, and tears — for the payoff that will come someday down the road. The problem with this belief is that “someday” never comes.
I used to pride myself on my ability to hustle, to get anything done, to be almost superhuman in my ability to hold so much responsibility. But inevitably, the project would end and then there would be another and another and another. Over and over, I’d find myself exhausted, burned out, and in desperate need to recover my own sense of wellness — physically, emotionally and spiritually. This would cost time and money, just to get back to “normal”. There never was (and never is) a time when everything is done and you get to just sit back and enjoy it. You have to enjoy life now. In the present. Otherwise, time — and your life — will pass you by.
That we can work hard for a period of time and then reap the rewards at some magical end date is a myth created by a capitalistic culture that wants to take advantage of your “productive” years in exchange for the promise of a peaceful and lucrative retirement. But that’s not how most of us live these days, either because the landscape of work has changed so dramatically (we’re not retiring at 55 with a pension) or because we don’t want to spend 30 or 40 years of our lives doing work that’s unfulfilling, all for the promise of relief someday that may never come.
How has your definition of success changed?
Rather than looking at success as an external goal to be accomplished, I define success as an internal experience of satisfaction in the present.
My goals are no longer about meeting criteria set by other people or trying to keep up with what everyone else is doing. They’re about a clear knowing of how I want to experience my life every day. Yes, there are long term goals, but success for me is not about reaching them at any cost. It’s about enjoying the process along the way, knowing that the goal may change (and probably will), and being okay with that.
Not to say I never do anything I don’t want to do. Rather, each decision is intentional and therefore it loses the energy of “suffering for success”. I can choose into it and choose to do the work in the way that feels the best for me.
With this approach, I can look at every day, every meeting, every task, every experience, and assess its success. If something doesn’t feel satisfying, then I can make micro adjustments in the moment.
The pandemic, in many ways, was a time of collective self-reflection. What changes do you believe we need to make as a society to access success post pandemic?
I believe that we need to reassess not only how we’re showing up and redefining success for ourselves as leaders, but also redefining what success looks like for our teams, for our entire organizations, and for our communities.
If, as a leader, you’ve crafted your life in an intentional way so that you’re satisfied with your daily experiences and you’re making progress towards your long-term goals, but your team is still hustling, burning the candle at both ends and working overtime to meet the requirements placed on them, then not only are you doing a disservice to you those you lead, but you’re setting yourself up for further challenges down the road.
This is what we’re seeing now with the Great Resignation. There’s a disconnect between what leaders perceive as their team’s motivations and what is really motivating them. People want to feel satisfied, fulfilled, valued. They want to be able to enjoy their time at work as well as outside of it. What you desire as a leader, your team desires as well.
More and more we hear stories of people in positions of leadership who have had some awaking and began to focus tremendous efforts on their own self-care, their own re-definition of success. The question is, how long does it take to turn that perspective to collective care? Some leaders never do. Great leaders bring their teams and organizations along for the ride and cultivate environments that are supportive, that feel successful to everyone involved. If they don’t, then those teams and organizations collapse.
Thich Nhat Hanh said, “Liberty without responsibility is not true liberty.” The freedom of being a leader is the ability to determine the parameters of your own experience. The responsibility of being a leader is in supporting others to do the same.
What do you see as the unexpected positives in the pandemic? We would love to hear a few of your stories or examples.
I think the forced slowdown was the best thing for many people, understanding, of course, that there’s great privilege in being able to slow down. Not everyone had that opportunity or the luxury to do so without enormous financial and personal strain.
For me personally, I felt the collective slow down and everything in me said, “YES! Let’s take a pause.” But not everyone I was engaged with personally and professionally agreed. It became an opportunity to sift again, to re-evaluate my own priorities, which is an ongoing process, and to determine what accommodations I would make and what I would allow into my space during this time.
An incredible amount of innovation came from this time as well. Forced constraints have been the impetus for so many creative solutions. We’ve found ways to make things work that we never would have considered if things remained as they’ve been.
There are so many events and experiences that historically have only been available to those who could take time off and travel great distances to a specific location. Now you can participate in almost anything, anywhere in the world because we’ve found ways to make these experiences happen online.
The pandemic has made our collective world smaller, more connected, and tighter knit, and it’s made our personal worlds broader and more expansive. That’s an exciting shift I don’t think we would have experienced otherwise.
We’re all looking for answers about how to be successful now. Could you please share “5 Ways To Redefine Success Now?”
- Get Present.
Start to look at success through the lens of what you’re experiencing right now. What’s the success in this day? In this hour? Focusing on past “failures” (there’s no such thing — everything is just data for future experiments) or on future events that are not in your control, will keep you in a state of constant dissatisfaction. The only place to find success, defined as personal satisfaction, is in the present.
2. Look Inside.
The only way to know what success is for you is to examine your own desires, needs, wants, values and visions. To do this, you have to look inside. You can do this by getting still and learning to listen to yourself. Journaling is a great tool for self-connection. As are meditation and breathwork. Embodied movement is another great way to connect with yourself so that you can begin to listen. It’s important to remember that this isn’t a “one and done” exercise. It’s a practice that with commitment, grows stronger over time. At first it may feel like a labor, but eventually you’ll be able to know with a quick pause. It will become second nature.
3. Stop Comparing.
It can be easy to get caught up in comparing yourself to what everyone else is doing and try to replicate that for yourself, but there are so many unknown factors in other people’s experience that there’s no way to make an apples-to-apples comparison. You will always feel that you’re on the failing end of the spectrum. Other people’s priorities and values may be different than yours. Their motivation may be different. Their constraints may be different. Maybe they’ve created a business and life that from the outside looks like everything you dream of, but on the inside is deeply dissatisfying to them. You just never know. The key is to get clear on what success looks like for you, every single day, and stay that path, regardless of what others are doing.
4. Celebrate the Small Things.
Instead of focusing only on the big goals, the big successes, be intentional about celebrating the small wins. Got eight hours of sleep last night? Success! Made time for someone you love? Success! Paused to reflect and collect yourself before addressing a challenge in your business? Success! Every one of these actions is moving you in the direction of your goals. Celebrating small successes leads to even greater ones and an increase in your overall daily satisfaction.
5. Trust the Process.
Choosing to focus on shorter term satisfaction will not derail you from your long-term vision. Rather, it will likely get you there faster. If you focus on putting one foot in front of the other in a way that feels deeply satisfying, the most aligned path will unfold in front of you, perhaps in ways you would never have imagined or that you would have missed if you were stressed out, exhausted, and deep in the hustle of trying to get to “success” at any cost. Trust the process and see what unfolds. You may be surprise by how quickly your vision becomes your reality.
How would our lives improve if we changed our definition of success?
When we redefine success as an experience of deep satisfaction, then all the angst of not being “there” yet disappears. We’re able to enjoy our day to day lives, build more meaningful relationships and ultimately contribute more to the collective good. When leaders redefine success for themselves and their teams, everyone wins.
What’s the biggest obstacle that stands in the way of our redefined success? And what advice would you offer about overcoming those obstacles?
The biggest obstacle that stands in our way of redefining success is fear of failure. It’s thinking that we have to hold on so tightly to control the outcome, because if we don’t then everything will fall apart. The truth is we’re so much more capable and more powerful than that.
If the fear of failure is keeping you stuck chasing the magic success carrot, then I recommend you start small. Pick one thing, one area of your life where you can experiment with this new definition of success. It could be with your diet or with fitness. It could be with your housekeeping or laundry. If you focused on getting present, looking inside, not comparing, celebrating small wins, and trusting the process in this one area, what would that look like?
Give it a try for 30 days and see what happens. See how it feels. Can you find satisfaction in letting go of the fear of failure?
Where do you go to look for inspiration and information about how to redefine success?
My most trusted resource is always my own intuition, my own internal knowing. To connect with myself when I’m looking for inspiration or looking to see what I might be missing, I head into nature. A walk in the woods, a visit to a botanical garden, a day at the beach. That’s where I know I can always find the truth.
When I’m craving connection and feedback, I reach out to the friends I know will steer me back to myself. There’s no advice giving in these conversations, only listening, questioning and reflecting. These relationships are great sources of inspiration for me.
We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He, she or they might just see this if we tag them.
Ooh… I would love to share a meal with Reese Witherspoon. I absolutely love what she created with her company Hello Sunshine. Not only has she changed the landscape of the entertainment industry, but she’s brought all of us along for the ride. The way she shows up in integrity, in authenticity, and in vulnerability is truly inspiring.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
I would love to connect with readers on:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rachelanzalone/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachelanzalone/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RachelMAnzalone
I also share articles and insights via my website at http://rachelanzalone.com.
Thank you for these fantastic insights. We greatly appreciate the time you spent on this. We wish you continued success and good health.