We’re all in this life to grow. Humans long to be better, get better, and live better that’s growth. Personal growth is what each of us wants to know that we’re improving, and there are all sorts of ways to get it. The world is loud about it, and the self-improvement industry has become a $10 billion industry. Coaches, consultants, courses, certifications are all ways to help you explore yourself more deeply. We want it. We crave it, but sometimes it’s hard to know where to start.
The most powerful personal growth is about three things: improving character, developing resiliency, and claiming self-acceptance. Think about it that way first. Usually, the craving for it comes at a transition point in life – a new beginning, an ending, a triumph, or a defeat. At these crossroads of life, we feel a need to rediscover and redefine meaning in our lives.
Your journey can take many forms. Maybe you’ve tried some in the past: health, wellness, fitness, mindfulness, communication skills, and even image confidence (my specialty). I’ve helped thousands of women spark a personal growth journey over my almost 25-year confidence-coaching career. I’ve watched many begin to get some perspective on the meaning of their life changes. Only a fraction turn their life experiences into meaningful pivot points that catapult them to new success. Those that made life-changing shifts have characteristics in common that allow them to embrace the most potent kind of personal growth, no matter what type of journey they choose.
Here’s how to succeed at any personal growth journey:
OBSERVE
what is not working for you in your life right now.
Look at the significant areas of your life: health, relationships, work, and self-love. Which is frustrating for you? Which seems to have some time of static or friction? Which makes you feel angry, sad, abandoned, or resentful. These are the areas needing your personal growth — these areas have lessons for you about developing your character, resiliency, and self-acceptance in some way.
ADMIT
that your behavior, driven by your mindset, contributes to your life right now.
Humans don’t “do” any behavior without the brain carrying an assumption about what surrounds that action – that’s how beliefs work. Because you believe something to be true, you act in a particular way. Our beliefs stem from our life experiences and can be long-standing. They may have kept us safe and secure at one time, but perhaps now no longer serve our path. Admitting that how you are living is driven by your current beliefs will shed light on why the areas of your life that need your growth are stuck. Ask yourself what you need to be true or what you believe to be true about what frustrates you and then check in to see from where that belief originated.
RESOLVE
to change fundamental beliefs first so that your new behavior can follow.
Many growth journeys build processes around changing behaviors first. You get help to develop new skills in an area, but without resolving to change essential beliefs first, there is a danger of not having those new behaviors stay permanently. Choose how your growth journey based on if it addresses mindset first as one of its vital success features. With this resolve in mind, it’s will be much easier to weed out task-focused solutions and to do the next step.
COMMIT
to follow a process that helps you see and practice the lessons that grow your character and resiliency.
For all the women I’ve worked with and watched own their confidence, their life, and create new success in any area, they have embraced the practice of seeing life as a character and resiliency building exercise. “What is life trying to teach me,” or “what about myself do I need to heal and develop to move forward.” These are central questions that women committed to a defined discovery process ask themselves.
Whether it’s changing how you eat, move, work, communicate, or dress in style, there IS a lesson of what you believe about yourself and what you think you deserve. The best journeys will help you see the personal lessons around self-love, courage, compassion, and discipline (and in that order) are the most powerful.
Beware of journeys that focus solely on the discipline part of “doing” tasks. Without being anchored in beliefs and lessons, the results will be harder to maintain.
RELEASE
social pressure to broadcast your growth.
It’s called personal growth for a reason. It happens inside of you first. When you are new in the rediscovery and redefining part of your journey, staying close to your own heart creates a faster connection with new meaning. Establish a daily practice to renew yourself based on your meaningful outcome and definition of success. Then, sharing your journey to inspire others is more natural, more authentic, and is about contributing to helping others by living a life of example. Confidence is quiet. Insecurity is loud.
Private growth creates public success.
Michele Charles Gustafson
Staying committed to your growth process will teach you lessons that are tailored just for you. Over time, you’ll see and feel new confidence and freedom, knowing you can make choices that honor yourself. Click here to find out how you can make new confidence “magic” in helping you make more impact on others in the most natural way. It all starts with you, and the right kind of journey to lead you to a powerful, new perspective.