When you hear the word boundary what comes up for you?
I used to think of boundaries as walls we put up to keep others out. I figured holding a boundary was about keeping the “hurt people, who hurt people” away from me.
Creating boundaries was more about keeping others out than it was about nurturing myself. I formed boundaries in reaction to feeling uncomfortable, hurt or attacked. But I needed to understand what I was truly craving underneath of it all. I needed to shift my perception of boundaries so they represented an act of love, not an act of force.
Boundaries often have a way of redirecting others away from us. But it’s important we form them in response to holding ourselves up – not hurting others or ourselves more.
At the end of the day, we all want to feel loved and accepted. When self-love wavers in response to how others show up – we are in for a rocky ride.
When we have healthy boundaries, we can be around anyone without fearing our sense of self will be lost or overstepped.
We can reclaim the way we view, create and maintain our personal boundaries.
Rather than viewing boundaries as being about the other person, we can view boundaries as a gift we give ourselves.
Here is a poem I wrote about empowering ourselves to own our right for healthy boundaries. Perhaps it will inspire a shift in how you hold boundaries.
Your Right For Healthy Boundaries – A Poem
These walls weren’t built to keep you out.
These walls are a reflection of self-love;
a shift beyond incessant self-doubt.
It is never about the other,
paths crossing can be viewed as a gift.
The journey is for becoming,
for seeing inner truth
and honouring self-worth.
When enveloped in light,
of the most loving kind;
worn and weathered paths
may no longer intertwine.
New opportunities for growth
will undoubtedly appear.
Fear not, the storm before you.
Tether to your core
when the desire for walls comes near.
Remember personal happiness
is yours to create and define.
Embrace your healthy boundaries,
say yes to love and your right to shine.
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Originally published at emilymadill.com